Woman - William J. Robinson (web ebook reader .TXT) 📗
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Time of Menopause—Cause of Suffering During Menopause—Reproductive Function and Sexual Function Not Synonymous—Increased Libido During Menopause—Change of Life in Men.
In the chapter on menstruation I referred briefly to the menopause. I will consider it here somewhat more in detail.
The menopause, also called the climacteric, and in common language "change of life," is the period at which woman ceases to menstruate. The average age at which this occurs is about forty-eight. But while some women continue to menstruate up to the age of fifty, fifty-two, and even fifty-five, others cease to menstruate at the age of forty-five or even forty-two. Between forty-four and fifty-two are the normal limits. Anything before or beyond that is exceptional.
Just as the beginning of menstruation may set in without any trouble of any kind, and just as some women have not the slightest unpleasant symptoms during the entire period of their menstrual life, so the menopause occurs in some women without any trouble, physical or psychic. The periods between the menses become perhaps a little longer, or a little irregular, the menstrual flow becomes more and more scanty, then one or several periods may be skipped altogether, and the menopause is permanently established. Many women, however, the majority probably, suffer considerably during the transitional year or years of the menopause. Symptoms are both of a physical and of a psychic character, but the psychic symptoms predominate. There may be headache, capricious appetite, or complete loss of appetite, considerable loss of flesh, or on the contrary very sudden and rapid putting on of fat, great irritability, insomnia, profuse perspiration; hot flashes throughout the body, and particularly in the face, which make the face "blushing" and congested, are particularly frequent. Then the woman's character may be completely changed. From gentle and submissive she may become pugnacious and quarrelsome. Jealousy without any grounds for it may be one of the disagreeable symptoms, making both the wife and the husband very unhappy. In some exceptional cases a genuine neurosis or psychosis may develop.
Cause of Suffering During Menopause. It is my conviction, and I have had this conviction for many years, that many, if not most, of the distressing symptoms of the menopause are due, not to the menopause itself, but to the wrong ideas about this period that have prevailed for so many centuries. We know the influence of the mind over the body, and the pernicious effect which wrong ideas may exercise over our feelings. The generally prevalent opinion among women, and men for that matter, and not only of the laity but unfortunately of the medical profession as well, is that the menopause is the end of woman's sexual life. Every woman is laboring under the erroneous impression that with the establishment of the menopause, with the cessation of the menses, she ceases to be a woman, and as she does not become a man, she becomes something of a neuter being, neither woman nor man. And she has the idea that after the menopause she can have no further attraction for her husband or for other men. Naturally such an idea has a very depressing effect on any human being. Any human being fights to the last to retain all its human functions, especially the function which is considered as important as is the sexual function.
Reproductive Function and Sexual Function Not Synonymous. Of course with the permanent cessation of the menses the woman's reproductive function is at an end. But the reproductive function is not synonymous with the sexual function, I must insist again and again, and naturally until this erroneous idea is dispelled much unnecessary misery will be the lot of our women. If women in general will learn that with the establishment of the menopause they do not cease to be women, if they will learn that the sexual desire in women lasts long beyond the cessation of the menopause, many women being as passionate at sixty as at thirty, if they will learn that their attractiveness or non-attractiveness to the male sex does not depend upon the menopause, but upon their general condition, if they will learn that many women at fifty and sixty are much more attractive than some women at half that age, they will not take the onset of the menopause so tragically and they will thereby avoid the greater part of their mental and emotional suffering.
The actual atrophy of the ovaries, uterus, external genitals and the breasts can, of course, not be prevented, but that atrophy is a slow and gradual process, and is not in itself the cause of the various distressing symptoms that we have enumerated.
The treatment of the menopause, if the symptoms are at all disagreeable, or distressing, should be in the hands of a competent physician. A little wholesome advice may be more efficient than gallons of medicine and bushels of pills. In general the woman should try to lead as calm and peaceful a life as possible. Warm baths daily are beneficial, constipation should be guarded against, hot vaginal douches are often efficient against the disagreeable flushes, and last, but not least, the husband should during this critical period be doubly kind and doubly considerate of his wife. It is during the years between forty-five and fifty-five that the wife is most in need of her husband's sympathy and support.
Increased Libido During Menopause. There is one rather delicate symptom which I must not pass unmentioned. Some women during the years while the menopause is being established, and for some years after the menopause, experience a greatly heightened sexual desire. In some cases this increased libido is normal, that is, no other pathologic symptoms or local conditions can be discovered. In some cases the increased libido is distinctly due to local congestion, congestion of the ovaries, the uterus, etc. In some cases, I can distinctly testify, it is psychic or autosuggestive. Because the woman thinks, and believes that other people think, that she is soon going to lose all her sexuality, she unconsciously works herself up into a sexual passion which sometimes may be of long duration and may even lead to disastrous results.
What to do in such cases? Where the woman's libido is normal or near normal, then naturally it should be normally gratified. But if the libido seems to be abnormally strong and the demands for sexual gratification are too frequent, then the woman should be treated and sexual gratification should not be indulged in, because in such cases, as a rule, sexual gratification only adds fuel to the fire, and the woman's demands may become more and more frequent, more and more insistent. In exceptional cases it may even reach the intensity of nymphomania. In such cases the aid of a tactful physician is indispensable.
To people not familiar with the subject it sounds rather strange to speak of "change of life" in men.
Man, possessing no menstrual function, cannot have any menopause, but still sexologists and psychologists who have studied the subject carefully are convinced that between the ages of forty-five and fifty-five men also undergo a certain change which may be spoken of as the change of life or the male climacteric.
They become irritable, capricious, very susceptible to feminine charms, are apt to fall in love, and in many the sexual instinct is greatly increased. As in women, this increase of the sexual desire is sometimes due to pathologic causes, such as an inflamed prostate gland—in other cases it is of psychic origin.
Just as a man should be particularly kind and considerate to his wife during her menopause, so the wife, understanding that her husband is going through a critical period, will also increase her tact, patience and consideration.
Definition of Masturbation—Its Injurious Effects in Girls as Compared with Boys—Married Life of the Girl Masturbator—Necessity for Change in Injurious Attitude of Parents who Discover the Habit—Common-sense Treatment of the Habit—How to Prevent Formation of Habit—Parents' Advice to Children—Hot Baths as Factor in Masturbation—Other Physical Factors—Mental Masturbation and Its Effects.
Masturbation or self-abuse is a term applied to a bad habit which consists in handling and rubbing the genitals. It is a bad habit because it is apt to injure the health and future development of the girl. The more frequently it is practiced, the more injurious it is. It is more injurious than when practiced by boys, because the effects are usually more permanent. Girls who indulge in the habit of masturbation to excess not only weaken themselves, become anemic and get a dingy, pimply complexion, but they lose their desire for normal sexual relations when they grow up, and are unable to derive any pleasure from the sexual act when they get married. In fact, many girls who masturbated excessively get a strong aversion to the normal sexual act, and their married life is an unhappy one. Their husbands often have to ask for a divorce. Fortunately, the habit is much less widespread among girls than it is among boys. While about ninety per cent. of all boys—nine out of every ten—masturbate more or less, only about ten or at most twenty per cent. of girls are addicted to this habit. But whatever the percentage may be, the habit is an injurious one, and if you value your health, your beauty and proper growth and mental development, you should not indulge in it. If you are already indulging, if you are used to handling your genitals, if a bad companion has initiated you into the habit, you should give it up. And mothers should watch their children, guard them against developing the habit, and do everything possible to cure them of it, if prevention comes too late.
But while as you see I do not deny the evil effects of masturbation, it is necessary to state that a great change has taken place in our opinions on the subject, and it is but right that parents should know of this change of opinion among the medical profession, particularly among those who specialize in sexology.
Wrong Behavior of Parents. When parents make the "awful" discovery that their child is fondling its genitals or is indulging in masturbation, they feel as if a great calamity had befallen them. They could not feel worse if they learned that the child was a thief or a pyromaniac. Imbued with the medieval idea of the "sinfulness" of the habit, as well as its injuriousness, they begin to scold the child, to frighten it, to make it believe that it is doing something terrible, that it has disgraced them and itself; and they try to persuade it that, unless it stops immediately, the most direful consequences are awaiting it. The results of this mode of procedure are disastrous—much more so than is the masturbation itself.
Often the scolding and the exposure of the child are done in the presence of others. This implants in the poor girl a sullen resentment that only makes it more difficult for it to break the habit. When the child is brought to the physician, you can see by its behavior, by its downcast looks, by its sulkiness, by its attempt to refrain from tears, and other signs, that it regards the physician in exactly the same light as a youthful criminal regards the judge before whom he has been brought for trial.
It is time, high time, that this silly and injurious attitude toward a practice, which is very common, be radically changed. It is time that parents and physicians learn that the injuriousness of the habit has been greatly, grossly exaggerated. It is time that they know that the vast majority of boys and girls get over the habit without being much, or any, the worse for it. The knowledge of this fact
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