Herself - Edith Belle Lowry (best motivational books for students .txt) 📗

I have made so emphatic the necessity of early and proper instruction of girls and I have shown you that so much of the disease and unhappiness in the world is due to this lack of instruction that I do not believe any of your daughters ever will say, "Why was I not told these things before it was too late?" But you women will have sons as well as daughters and you are just as responsible for their future happiness as you are for that of your daughters. Besides the future happiness of another woman's daughter depends in a large measure upon the health of your son. The boys need instruction as much if not more than do the girls; at any rate they need it earlier than the girls do, because boys talk more freely than girls and boys acquire their first impressions of these subjects much earlier than girls.

No boy ever willfully contracted a disease that would produce so much future misery as that resulting from one of the venereal diseases. You remember I made the remark that the large percentage of men contracted these diseases before their twentieth year, before they had any adequate knowledge of the possible consequences. If boys were warned there would be no more of this innocent acquisition of disease. Many a man has had cause to regret all his life a few moments of thoughtless dissipation. Even though a boy has acquired one of these diseases that is no reason why he should suffer from it the remainder of his life any more than that he constantly should suffer from an attack of smallpox. One difference at the present time is that the smallpox patient receives the most scientific treatment procurable, but the victim of one of these plagues is neglected. Boys are told these diseases are no worse than a cold and so do not realize the necessity for prompt and adequate treatment. The ordinary boy treats himself, following the advice of some of his friends or some incompetent person. He has a feeling of shame which prevents him from going to the family physician, who would give him honest advice. If he goes to any physician he usually goes to some advertising physician who claims to be a "men specialist." The main speciality of these men is obtaining money from their ignorant dupes. Their advertisements would make nearly every man in the world think he were suffering from some grave disease. The young boy, at an impressionable age, is a ready victim to their lures. He is treated for a real or an imaginary disease until his money is all gone, then he is discharged.

Let me read you a letter I received from a young boy which will illustrate my meaning: "I read your article 'A Father's Duty to His Son,' in the —— and take the liberty of writing to you. My father died when I was but nine years old, so I was left to my own resources, the result being I am now a nervous wreck at the age of nineteen. I have doctored for nervous debility with four doctors for over a year and a half. The result, they got every cent out of me but did not help me a particle. If my mother ever found it out, it would worry her to death, as she has hopes in me, fool that I was. My condition, I am always nervous when in company, expecting somebody to accuse me any minute. My eyes always are blurred and my hands shake as if I were an old man. I have night losses, which bother me more than anything and if they stopped I know I could fight my way back to health. If you could possibly give me some recipe or advice it would be greatly appreciated. Nobody but one in this condition can imagine the strain on the mind and body. Although I feel well when alone, though awfully weak, I am a nervous wreck when in the presence of others. I have written to you because your article seems to tell facts which I know to be true."

Now, if you will pardon me I will quote a portion of my reply: "Evidently you have been the victim of unscrupulous doctors. Unfortunately there are a number. They usually advertise themselves as specialists in diseases of men. A reliable physician does not advertise. If you had gone to a trustworthy family physician in the first place you would have been saved much worry, and incidentally considerable money.

"The chief advice you need is to stop worrying. The night losses you mention are a natural condition. They occur with nearly every normal man who is living a continent life. Even if they occur two or three times a week they do not indicate any diseased condition. The more you worry and think about such things the more often they will occur. I do not know what your occupation is, but if it is indoor work you must plan to take a great deal of outdoor exercise every day. If you could go out in the country for awhile and do hard outdoor work it would be the best thing for you. Eat only plain, easily digested food, but eat plenty. Do not use any condiments nor stimulants. Sleep on a hard bed with plenty of fresh air in the room. Bathe the external genitals with cold water night and morning.... The fact that you have abused yourself in the past need not prevent you from being a perfectly healthy person now if you are not continuing the practice."

Every boy desires to be a man but does not quite understand the meaning of the word. He dislikes to be called a "greeny" or anything that suggests that he is young and inexperienced. Often he pretends to know things he does not. Nearly every boy, at an early age, is thrown in contact with low-minded persons who think it amusing to persuade the youth to prove he knows indecent things. He thinks it a test of manhood to be acquainted with various vices and so in order to prove his knowledge is led into various indiscretions, which result in the contraction of vile habits or of loathsome diseases.

If a boy at an early age were given the true idea of the meaning of being a man or of manhood we would have fewer physical wrecks and incompetent individuals.