Mail Order Bride: Westward Winds - - (best books for students to read TXT) 📗
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Dean thought about that for a moment. “You might have something there, Marcus.”
“Dean, you deserve to be happy. I know she makes you happy. Tessa’s not going anywhere. You can’t let fear rule your life anymore. If you keep letting fear get in the way, you’re gonna find yourself alone and miserable someday.” Marcus put a hand on Dean’s shoulder and squeezed it a little. “I’d sure hate to see that happen.”
“Me, too. How’d you get so smart?” Dean asked with a smile.
Marcus grinned. “Just lucky, I guess.”
“So what are you workin’ on now?” Dean asked as he spied a piece of wood on the floor that had something etched into it.
Marcus picked it up and began explaining it to Dean. The brothers talked for a couple of hours about all kinds of things and it was late when Dean went home.
Tessa heard him come in and undress. She kept her eyes closed and never let on that she was awake as he slipped into bed. Tessa’s nose wrinkled as she detected the faint scent of whiskey on him. She knew then that he’d been with one of his brothers. It made her miss her sisters. She lay in the darkened room, feeling lonely and disappointed.
All the next day, Dean thought about the things both of his brothers had said and realized how right they both were. He went through his day as if he was sleepwalking. Seth and Marcus noticed his preoccupation, but didn’t comment. They saw that Dean was wrestling with things and knew that they didn’t need to interfere. Also it meant that he wasn’t harassing them about anything, which was refreshing.
With each passing hour, Dean grew more determined to face his fear and do what needed done. He looked at it from the perspective that he always did his work. He might not like doing it, he might not find it pleasant, he might not do something perfectly, but Dean knew he did it to the best of his ability. It was the same way with being a father. It was tough sometimes, dealing with the kids when they were stubborn or argumentative, but it needed done and because he loved them so much, he was willing to deal with it.
Shouldn’t I do the same thing with Tessa? Shouldn’t I force myself to deal with the hard stuff because I love her and she deserves it from me? Shouldn’t I be willing to get past that fear like Marcus said and do right by her? I don’t want to lose her because I’m too scared or stubborn. Tessa’s right, neither of us have cleared the air and it’s about time we do it.
The moon was rising higher as Dean lay down on their bed. As he waited for his wife to come to bed, Dean mentally went over what he wanted to say to Tessa. A little while passed and Dean began to wonder where his wife was. He looked at the clock on the dresser and put his head back down on the pillow.
When a half-hour went by, Dean got up and put his pants on. He didn’t bother with a shirt. When he didn’t find her in the house, Dean started to get worried. The warm September night held a soft breeze and Dean could smell the scent of hay and cattle as he walked to the main barn.
Dean saw her when he entered the barn floor. The big doors were open to allow for cool air to reach the horses. Moonlight poured inside, illuminating Tessa’s tantalizing figure as she stood in front of one of the stalls. He couldn’t have prevented the jolt of desire he felt for her any more than the tides can resist the pull of the moon.
Tessa’s dark hair hung down her back in soft waves. Her body was silhouetted in her nightgown and Dean found it more alluring than any lingerie could ever be. With great effort, Dean fought those thoughts so he could concentrate on the matter at hand. He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and stepped toward her.
Tessa stood outside of Buster’s stall, stroking his face and neck. She had put the children to bed but wasn’t ready to retire herself. Her father had also gone to bed. Tessa wasn’t ready to go to bed because she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep because of the turmoil in her heart and mind.
She also didn’t want to be in such close proximity to Dean. Although her heart and mind were still hurt, her body was traitorous and she missed her husband’s touch. It was too easy to give in to her physical reaction to him. Even though making love with Dean was a beautiful experience every time, it wasn’t solving things between them. She wished it could, but the reality was that, eventually, they were going to start resenting one another and that was the last thing she wanted.
Tessa heard soft footfalls behind her and closed her eyes as she recognized Dean’s steps. So much for not having a confrontation, Tessa thought. I was hoping he would fall asleep if I stayed out here long enough.
Dean decided to let it all hang out; his anger, his hurt, and his confusion. “You know, Tessa, I never pegged you for a hypocrite,” he said softly.
She whirled around at his insulting words.
Dean held up a quieting hand. “You accused me of being a liar and in a way, I guess I was. But I didn’t run away and not even tell my family I was getting married. So even though you didn’t lie outright, you lied by, by, oh, hell, there’s a word for it…”
“Omission,” Tessa said.
“Yeah, you lied by omission and you put me and the kids in a very bad position. If it was just me, I wouldn’t mind so much, but when it comes to my kids, I don’t tolerate anything that could hurt them. It’s a good thing that your old man is a stand-up guy or else we’d have a real problem. But if things go south, I’ll deal with it head on,” he told her with a stern expression.
“What are you saying?” Tessa said.
“If he starts causing trouble in front of my children, I’ll ask him to leave. I’m not gonna be blamed for something you did or didn’t do,” Dean answered.
“I won’t let that happen and I won’t let the children be upset, either. Besides which, my father is a wonderful man who has raised three daughters and would never purposely upset a child. You have nothing to worry about.”
Dean nodded, apparently satisfied on that score. “Why didn’t you write home to tell them you were getting married? Are you ashamed of me because we’re not from high society? Is it because you felt that your parents wouldn’t approve of you marrying someone below your station?”
“No! Of course not,” Tessa said.
“Sure, Tessa,” Dean said sarcastically. “Why don’t I believe you? You said you were bored with your old life and wanted some adventure. Here’s what I think happened. You thought running away to the West would be romantic, so you wrote me and agreed to come here. As time went on, you began to see what it was really like here, that livin’ here is a lot of hard work. You started thinking that your parents would be really disgusted by the fact that you were marrying some poor rancher with two kids. I guess you’d say it was scandalous. Yeah, I think that’s the right word.”
Tessa couldn’t help saying, “It is.”
Dean nodded. “Okay. Then once you’d married me, you were trapped. You couldn’t go back home because you’d be disgraced. Unless your family came up with a good story, of course. Maybe you went to visit your sick aunt or something? Isn’t that how you people do when someone gets into some kind of trouble? You just sweep it under the rug and make up something so that no one is the wiser?”
Tessa hadn’t thought to ask her father what they’d told any of the friends or family in her circles about her disappearance. She looked at Dean with wide eyes and said nothing because she could neither confirm nor deny his statements.
Dean saw her confusion. “What excuse did your father give them?”
“I have no idea. I’ve never asked him,” Tessa said.
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