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that has torment me over and over again. Maybe some day I will and then all this will end.
By that I’ve lost my voice… is gone because I have hold the thorns because in my mind there not to swallow, the words have edge my heart. Like a dog that’s scared because he has never barked I feel, as an album that has never been listen to that nobody has played by that nobody signed a law that will remove the right to move to the front and drop their voice of your chest and shout and scream and give place to the courage and give name to the fear and to be happy although it might fail because I scream and shout and give courage somewhere and put a name to fear and start lightning to heaven be happy even thou happy is not the word. Should I swallow the words that have edge me and then you realized that what you keep inside is getting dry by time, you should let it out is worth more than condemn my self to shut up and I shout what’s not ment to be told. The chains that bind my life weigh very much they weight because with my forces I want to take them. Many struggles as many tests as many tears I’ve shed I fight and people have said to me you are nobody. In doors that I’ve knocked at they tell me this is not the place keep going. My friends have lost the hope in me they don’t trust me any more. And I understand them because I promise too much now a day you may ask me why and I might say because some people promise what the wont complete. All that pressure… the pressure to fit in to look perfect, to be accepted if you let it push on you too much it will affect you in some way. Some people might say oh now Berenice is opening up after people told her that it was just so stupid and told her not to. Yes she is because she will not let anybody let her down not any more.

Chapter14: I base my life in…

I base my life in facts and logical believes but those keep me going.

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry you need to show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. I guess I have not showed this. Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, and no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all; live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forgive someone. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless…When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying. I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry. Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak … sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. You may ask me why you do all that. Why you don’t ever give up? Why do you keep going after all these years and I will look at you in the eye and tell you why because I want a life that I can be proud of because I made it I want to look over and don’t say that my life was sent away, I want to be like no one you have ever seen. And even after all these years after all that has happened to me I’m still with my head up high very high. I don’t give up because that’s not my destiny my destiny is to never give up and to continue to show who I am to help others and live the life that I want. I live for those who held my life with me for Nyia Suarez, Brook Shires, Mallory Love, Natalie Horn, Yesenia Argueta, Maddie Rainwater, Scotty Wallace, Lacie Herring, Elijah Robbers and Tiffany Henry for all these people, I care for theme I am who I am because I saw in them a family a real family.

Chapter15: Did I do anything wrong by asking?

Was I wrong when I wanted to know why? Was that too big of a question? I just wanted to know if out there in the world someone was listening, I wanted to believe that I was not alone. I wanted that feeling I really did because the point that I woke up every day for no reason was not the one I needed. Was I wrong when I wanted to know if I was right or not? I wanted her to change she wanted me to change but we never met our points. It did not feel wrong because I wanted to know how and why in what point of my life did everything change. No…. I did not ever expect anything from her because I could not. But deep inside I understood that women because I knew that for her it was hard to be someone different because all her life she has been harsh. All I ever wanted was……I don’t even know what I want any more. I just wanted someone to rescue me but when someone came it was too… too late. Chapter16: are we monsters inside

Are we capable of becoming a monster during the process of life? Do we have it in us? Life is a hell of a thing that can happen to a person. Can we consider our self’s monsters. If we knew etches secrets what comforts would we find, while some wounds are obvious many are unseen. Help me in bad and make me understand that if I am suffering now is because something good happened to me. Why? Cry forever and why can I never be happy I just want peace. My computer knows stuff about me that nobody else knows. She always talks bad about my I don’t know why, but to other people she was the best. You don’t know how it feels that you just want to cry and explode is a horrible feeling. I always ran away to my room I don’t know why I guess it was my alone place sometimes it wasn’t because even there I could not feel safe. Was I wrong when I question my self was I wrong when I wanted to know what was going to happen next I did not feel wrong at all.

Chapter16: look at your life

You may be reading this book now, I want you to look back and remember all that you have done every thing and I want you to determine what your life is going to be think , I know you don’t want a life like me and don’t say this is never going to happened to me you may be 16 or 20 any age look at me I’m 12, 13 and I started my life like you so happy with my mom I knew my dad was alive somewhere in El Salvador and then all of a sudden my life made a horrible turn my life has been horrible. Change because it’s not too late to do so. For me and for my mom it maybe too late, I want you to run to your parents and your siblings and give theme a big hug and tell them to forgive you, tell them you red my book my small book but that you learned a lot from it. Tell them that this is the time to change for all. I want you to realized that you have hurt people just one day tell all to forgive you, you may say but no one else does that and this is my response it takes one person yo change many so why don’t you start. I did I can say in this day that I have made a change. Talk to your friends help them change too give them a copy of my book and tell theme to read this and watch as the next day the come in with a huge smile and they hade never smiled and they give you a big hug and say thank you that’s when you feel that you have made a difference take all my advise and spread them out. Send me an email give me a cal and I will thank you because every day you are making my dreams come true.
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