Confessions of a Serial Dater - Adalade Brooks (most read books .TXT) 📗

you Zoe,” The father said as he grabbed each of our hands and shook them more firmly then I knew was possible.

“Nice to meet you too sir.”

“Now Zoe, Will has the keys to the boat, he told me you have your full capacity license.”

“Yes sir, but I haven’t driven a boat in years,” A full capacity license means that you took and passed your boat licensing test and the age of twelve and are now able to drive a boat filled to the maximum with small children. All you need is life jackets and over priced gasoline.

“Sir, I got my full capacity last weekend. I can now drive children,” Thank god Will. I agreed to play mommy. I didn’t agree to hold lives in my hands, “Zoe will spot.”

“Wait, are we taking them skiing?”

“No, of course not. Some of these kids don’t know how, your taking them tubing and swimming, then we are going to meet you up at the sandbar around three,” Panic. I had learned how to panic quietly on the inside with Will around, this was far from the first time he had unknowingly forced me to confront a fear. This time however, I was confronting a fear that I hadn’t even known I had. I was afraid of children.

“Here you go Will, the boat is loaded, your parents are picking us up in a few minutes, and then we will be off as well,” The father said as he passed Will the key. My journey through motherhood was beginning, and it was beginning with a mild panic attack. I couldn’t breath and I leaned on Will for support. He looked at me and smiled

“This will be fun!”, this will so not be fun. This was going to be the farthest thing on the planet from fun. Why the hell was he thinking this was going to be fun.

“I know! It will be wonderful,” It slipped out. I wish I hadn’t, but it was instinct. Everyone reading this is now thinking that I am a horrible person who’s instincts tell them to lie. It isn’t instinct for me to lie. It is instinct for me to want to make people happy. It is an instinct I still battle with, because making people happy often involves lying to people, and lying to people makes them angry. Angry people I know are not happy, but I can’t always help myself.

I spent the rest of the day faking a smile as kids screamed and fell in the water. Luckly after six hours on the water all eight of the kids were still alive and uninjured (how, I have no idea). Emotionally however I am sure that at least one of them was quite damaged. This one particular kid spent most of the day flipping over in the tube or jumping off the boat at bad times. In return this kid got yelled at quite a few times. I’m sure that when he grows up he will be the sexy bad ass that all of the girls from that party will date, but at the age of nine he was crazy. How this one kid did not inspire the rest of them to try and kill themselves I have no idea, but I am thankful.

Will and I lived through the crazy day, but our relationship did not. We split two days later when we realized that while we had fun together when we were alone, together we would never have the stariotypical Catholic Family with eight or nine kids and an incredible amount of money. Will realized that day that he made a wonderful father and would one day have lots of kids. I learned that day that I made a horrible mother and I should never have any kids. I know that Will is going to make a wonderful father and husband one day, it just wont be with me.
Letters to Loved Ones Past

Will,
I mention you a lot through out my book in part because you were a significant part of my life and in part because I really did love you. I know that in my writing I failed to mention a lot of the good times we had together, but I think we could both agree that I could write a thousand pages on the good times we had together and still have more left to share. You will always hold a special place in my heart, but we both know that us moving on and apart was for the best.
Zoe


Alex,
You are wonderful at many things. I am sorry, but being a romantic is not one of them. You’re full of passion, and know how to make someone temporarily very happy. Long term however you should consider being in a relationship for more than sex. By the way, there is a point at which you calling a girl tiny and cute can start to sound off putting and you may want to tone it down a little. Also, I’m not a cheerleader. I never was a cheerleader, and I never will be a cheerleader. You are very gullible for believing a person like me would risk their life to hold pom poms on top of a pyramid.
Zoe

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Publication Date: 06-09-2012

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