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Shannon’s, which looked more like an Irish pub than an Irish pub. It did however have a good atmosphere.

The evening consisted of five more red wines and a lot of teaching talk. Despite Mara’s tolerance to wine she became extremely drunk, so much so that she couldn’t remember the journey home. But it was good to have a blow out occasionally; the last time she was this intoxicated was on holiday in Portugal and she met someone called Carlos who was a very good dancer. She knew she would regret the excess of alcohol in the morning, but the morning was hours away.

That familiar feeling of dehydration, nausea, and vacancy hit Mara as she woke from her sleep. All she could do was open her eyes and decide if she was capable of moving.

‘No I can’t move! God I can’t remember last night. I hate it when that happens. Shit I feel sick,’ she whined as she ran to the toilet throwing up red acidic liquid, followed by bitter yellow gunk after many deep retches. She had been vomiting so hard that she had started to shake and dribble.

‘Are you alright?’ a voice called from outside the door.

JESUS! I didn’t. Did I? No not Mat. I’m not going to be able to look him in the eye.

‘Yeah, I’m fine. Help yourself to tea, coffee, toast.’

‘Thanks. Do you want a cuppa?’

‘Tea thanks,’ she replied spitting out the last of the yellow stuff she had just quietly thrown up.

Mara crawled over to the sink and pulled herself up to look in the mirror.

‘I look like Barbara effing Cartland!’

How am I going to get rid of him? I just want to die in peace today! I’ll feel the disgrace tomorrow.

Mara wiped the crumbling mascara from under her eyes and cleaned her teeth in a vain attempt to look and feel vaguely of this world.

Mat sat comfortably on the sofa sipping tea and eating toast.

He obviously wasn’t totally out of it last night. Mara thought trying to remember the details of the latter part of the evening.

Despite feeling rough, she did her best not to let it show by chatting casually and trying not to throw up when the urge hit.

Two hours later, Mat got a call on his mobile phone and said he should get home because his landlord was doing a surprise inspection.

As politely as she could, she shoved him out the door and waved goodbye. Relieved he was gone she collapsed on the sofa.

‘I’m such a dick. Why? What have I done?’ she yelled at herself.

The rest of the day was wasted eating junk food and watching TV whilst feeling remorseful and dreading the prospect of Monday.

‘I might call in sick? No, I can’t avoid him forever. No, I’ll definitely call in sick.’

 

 

Chapter Five

5

‘The word of the Lord has meant insult for me. You have seduced me, Lord and I have let myself be seduced. You have overpowered me. You were the stronger. I am a daily laughing stock, everyone’s butt. Each time I speak the word, I have to howl and proclaim, violence and ruin!’ Pastor Cosmos screeched.

Already awake when the radio turned itself on, Mara had had a disjointed night’s sleep. Invariably her thoughts kept going back to the events of Friday night.

‘Do I want to know what happened?’

‘No!’

‘Yes!’

‘No; if I don’t know I can’t feel any shame! Why do I feel awkward?’ she said looking through her wardrobe distractedly pulling out clothes and putting them back in, unconsciously making the decision to go in.

Unfocused and vacant she had no idea what she would be teaching today and spent a few minutes trying to piece together lesson plans for her classes.

‘First period’s easy; Year ten, dot to dot biology pictures,’ Mara said to herself as she flicked through the book self.

‘Year eleven can do a poster on the solar system and year seven can research evolution; they might even recognise some of their ancestors.’

Glancing at the clock, she realised it was nearly time for briefing and headed for the staffroom.

She quickly checked her pigeon hole and scanned the notice boards, while still loosely contemplating going home sick.

Oh great I’m covering for Steve Manuelle again, another free period down the toilet, she thought studying the cover list sellotaped to the notice board.

Next to the cover list were the notices for the up and coming week with a catalogue of deadlines scribbled in different coloured ink. Joyce had written course outlines to be given to her on mauve paper with the mauve word underscored. A staff meeting was scheduled for Thursday after school. PAC tests results were due in today on green paper and BAP’s by the end of the week.

Out the corner of her eye Mara became aware of Mat coming into the staffroom. She turned back to her pigeon hole and pretended to be engrossed with all three pieces of paper. But it was no use he saw her and walked over. She threw the pieces of paper in the Manuelle’s pigeon hole.

‘Good morning. How are you?’ he asked.

‘Fine, despite having to be here,’ she replied awkwardly.

‘Yeah, I know how you feel, and to make matters worse I’m covering a lesson for that Manuelle guy again.’

‘Me too and I don’t even know what he looks like.’

‘I saw him on the first day. I remembered him because when he introduced himself, he welcomed me to paradise. But I haven’t seen him since,’ Mat replied.

The room had noticeably quietened as Jim and Joyce entered.

Joyce took her position next to the board poised with her marker pen, while Jim started to read from a list.

Mara quickly took the first available seat and Mat followed.

‘Students and staff are now allowed back into the previously cordoned area. Police have finished their forensics work. However an officer will be speaking to some of you during the course of the day. Those people will be told in advance if they are to be interviewed. Staff on duty at morning break please be vigilant as there has been a spate of tagging on the walls. Keep an eye on your board markers and confiscate any large felt tips and spray cans found on students. Sam Humphries is on report for bullying so please pay close attention to his interactions during lessons and those on duty keep an eye on him during break and lunch.’

That’s a point, I must find out what day I’m supposed do duty. Mara thought.

‘Richey Simmons is starting back today, as you know he has been in juvenile detention since last June, so please be aware that he may have a few difficulties readjusting and do not leave sharp objects in his path. Finally, do not allow students out of class during lessons unless they have a note.’

‘Just to add to that,’ Joyce croaked.

‘Remember if you need lesson cover because you are going to be absent, then you need to put in a request on the YELLOW absent teacher form, too many people are using the blue teacher relief form. If you phone in sick please be no later than seven am. Also today I’m incommunicado; I’ve got meetings with my guy Chris.

Leaving the staff room Mara literally bumped into Daniel.

‘Sorry, Daniel, I haven’t quite woken up yet.’

‘That’s okay. Have a good weekend?’ he winked.

‘No, no, the same as usual, what about you?’ Mara blushed.

‘Well me and my mate James went to Soho on Friday night.’

I wish I hadn’t asked about his bloody weekend. Mara thought.

‘Went to a bar which has a self service beer, you sit at a table with beer taps in the middle. When you want a drink you chuck a two pound coin into the slot and stick your glass under the tap. Voila, it fills. It’s the only one in London you know. You should come out with us, bring a friend, as long as the’re as tasty as you.’

Just don’t respond. Mara sighed.

The next few days quickly passed. Mara kept out of Mat’s way by avoiding the staffroom at break and lunch time. The only problem with this was that she had to endure Daniel shovelling baked beans into his mouth and Piles eating his tined tuna which smelt like cat excrement, while Gordon complained constantly about his year eight class.

Jeremy had been absent for two days and was replaced by a Nigerian teacher called Grace. She had taken to praying before lessons for the kids to behave. Mara thought she was joking at first but when one of the technicians slowly shook his head at her, warning her not to laugh, she realised Grace was serious. The kids took full advantage of her broken English and would give her the run around, claiming they couldn’t understand what she was saying.

Boyo arrived back at school on the Tuesday. His arm however was in a cast raised parallel to his nose. He looked ridiculous and the kids had nicknamed him the elephant man. Children would shout elephant man as he walked past, and then pretend they didn’t know who had said it when he turned around; although he rarely turned around. The year elevens who had seen the film the Elephant Man would slur. My nnamme ish chon Merrick. One delinquent had drawn a picture of an elephant on the door of his classroom. Needless to say this name was going to stick!

Mara dutifully attended the staff meeting after school on Thursday. She sat down next to Deon and chatted while waiting for the start. Deon’s level of conversation was limited to football, page three models and getting drunk. Mat had come into the room and sat next to Steffi despite the empty seat besides her. Mara didn’t know why, but she felt a little dejected; she had expected him to sit next to her, she was the one avoiding him after all. Daniel pranced into the room and enthusiastically filled the void next to her. Throughout the meeting he irritatingly scratched his groin, ran his fingers through his hair and bit his nails.

The meeting was long and painful, focusing on raising the current GCSE pass rate of 25%. Suggestions included not entering students who didn’t have a hope of passing and helping kids by drafting their work before it was submitted.

At the end of the meeting Jim walked over to Mara.

‘How are you?’ he asked.

‘Uh, fine,’ she replied.

This was only the second time she had spoken to him.

‘Did you know I’m your mentor and assessor for the year?’ he asked

‘Yes.’

‘Do you have a few minutes; I would like to go through your beginning teachers programme for the year.’

‘Yeah, no that’s fine,’ she replied.

‘Good. Could you come to my office in about fifteen minutes?’

I just want to bloody go home. Mara thought.

‘Yep,’ she replied smiling.

Mara cleared the paper mess in her classroom left by the year elevens before making her way to Jim’s office. She knocked on the door.

‘Come in,’ he called.

‘Hi,’ Mara replied as she walked through the door.

‘Hello Mara, take a seat. Now I’m not going to keep you long but I just need to let you know what’s happening.’

Mara nodded.

‘I have to perform five lesson observations during the year and we have to have at least three mentor sessions. At the end of the year I’ll send the documentation to the Ministry of Education to inform them whether or not you’re fit to teach,’ he grinned.

Mara nodded and smiled unsure whether to laugh at his little one-liner.

‘So I thought we may as well get things under way. I’ll come in and observe a lesson next week. What class would you like me to come and see?’

‘Umm, maybe, I suppose the year seven.’

‘Great,’ he beamed.‘Year seven it is. By the way any problems so far?’ he added.

‘Umm, my timetable is rather overloaded for a first year teacher. I thought I only had to teach seventeen lessons instead of a full load of twenty?’

‘Yes, that’s actually only a guideline. Can’t be helped sorry, you’ll have to do the full timetable. Everybody’s in that same boat.’

‘Okay,’

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