Begginings - Juniper Lee (bookstand for reading .txt) 📗

color was draining from her hands, olive tan to white. She was disappearing before her own eyes, as the color was being peeled quickly from her entire body. A glance at her feet revealec that she was almost completely blank, erased.

Finally, she found the courage to shut her eyes again. For the next minute, she willed here eyes to be shut as she waited for it to be over. She didn't wash anything. It was pointless to cleanse a body as clean and new as hers always was. 

She turned the shower off blindly, stepped out, and grabbed her towel off the hook on the side wall. She dried herself without looking and stood up. Then, before wrapping herself up, she stared into the mirrror.

As always, unfamiliar eyes stared back at her. Luckily she at least looked normal by human standards. There was only one time when she hadn't looked human, and she hoped it would never happen again. She stared closely at her new body, studying its shape, examining it for flaws which it never seemed to have. She wrapped herself up and looked away. 

She walked out of the bathroom without taking her old clothes. They would have disappeared by then anyway, and wouldn't have fit her new shape. She laid her towel on the only chair in the small apartment and slipped beneath her warm covers. 

She fell asleep quickly and soundly, knowing in the morning she would wake up fully clothed, with her hair done perfectly, and in the same situation as she always had been.

Tears

Her bare feet softly made their way through the grassy meadow. Warm earth beneath her toes, she walked on. She hadn't found it yet, but she knew she would.

Drowning In Herself

Extracted

Rebirthed

 The world is spinning. I can feel my hands holding my head. I must be in pain, but I am too stunned to actually feel it.

"Have you had enough yet?!" a voice screams in my ear. My senses are quickly returning. I feel someone release my hair and push me forward into the ground. My own hands release my head as well, but my reflexes are too slow to keep my nose from connecting with the gravel.

"Just give it up already! Huh? You know you're too weak to keep doing this." The voice is deep. A man. Probably younger, only in his late 20s or early 30s. But I wont lift my head to look at him. Not yet.

Blood gushes and pools on the road, which I can now see is newly repaved. My fingers are tingling, but the rest of my body is calming. I take a deep breath.

"I wonder what you're thinking now. Contemplating how terrible your death will be?" His hot breath tickles the side of my face. "Or are you willing to finally give in? Give me what I need." I feel his rough hand under my chin. He tries to pull my eyes up to meet his. Its too early. I push his hand away and turn my eyes back to the ground. He doesnt see them.

"Fine. Have it your way." He cocks his gun and I feel it on my temple. Cold, like his fingers. "I'll count to three." Perfect.

"One..." My hands stop tingling.

"Two..." My eyes burn.

"Three." He goes for the trigger, but he doesnt make it. My hand is on the gun first. Then his arms are behind his back and Im on top of him. His face is pressed to the ground, the gun pressed to his temple. I still haven't seen his face and he hasnt seen mine.

"Who are you?!" His deep voice is shaking, full of fear and his words are panicked.

"Doesn't matter." The words roll off my tongue in a weird way. I'm not used to this voice yet. And by the looks of the situation, I wont have much time to get used to it. "I'm going to give you three seconds. Who are you and why are you here?" Even in this new voice I am strong, commanding, powerful.

"I am Leimiah Kurnis..."

"You!"I spit, pressing the gun even farther into his skill. "The world will be better off without you."

"No! Don't kill me. I haven't done anything deserving of death."

"Not yet you haven't. And I'm not going to give you the chance."

With my right hand I pull one of my best friends from my pocket, a small yellow pill. I press a button and the electronic pill begins to beep slowly. Soon the pace quickens. I shove it inside Leimiah's mouth and hear one last beep as he disappears.

Finally, I pull a piece of paper with detailed instructions from my pocket and fold it in my hand. I put another pill into my mouth and wait for the tingling to start and the world to dissolve around me.

 

Broken

The chill of the wind is too much. I pull my hood on, zip my jacket, and shove my hands into my pockets. Then I keep walking.

It was just too much. 

I close my eyes. It doesn't help.

I couldn't take the pain. I couldn't do it.

I try to shove her words out of mind, but the same question resurfaces again and again.

Why did you do it? 

I scream in my mind because I know she isn't here. She can't hear me and she never will again.

Why did you leave me? 

There's nothing I can do to clear my thoughts. Her voice, her words haunt me. I picture them on the paper, but I hear them in her voice and feel them in my body.

The wind gains strength, pushing me even further into my thoughts. I push back, fighting to forget with every step. Finally, I break into a run. Not thinking at all, just moving. My eyes, legs, lungs, and heart burn simultaneously in a rhythm that can only be related to my anger, my saddness, and my escape. My symphony.

I slow down; come to a full stop in front of the house. Everything inside me is on fire., consumed physically and emotionally. I lean my head into the door, not ready to go back inside. I'm not ready to do what I need to do. I don't want to plunge into this all over again. But I have to.

You are strong. Stronger than me. Stronger than I ever could be. 

But I dont want to be strong.

Why do I have to be the strong one?

I put my hand on the handle, open the door, and walk inside, leaving the wind to howl to itself.

Imprint

Text: Juniper Lee
Publication Date: 04-06-2012

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