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should go look for another table now, when you can do the same. If you’ll excuse me, now, I’m meeting someone.”

“Really?” He didn’t seem to believe me. He took the seat next to mine – which his friends followed and soon the table was overly crowded. “Someone wants to meet with you? And who might that be? Your father?”

“No, it’s my-” I stopped, suddenly feeling uneasy.

“Your what?”

“I’m not going to discuss this with you. Would you please go and find another table for yourself and your friends?”

“No, we quite like it here. I think we’ll stay.” He got more comfortable in his chair and started talking to the boy next to him.

I didn’t know what to do. The diner’s door didn’t open for the next fifteen minutes and the uneasy feeling in my stomach increased. Something went terribly wrong here.

“So, Swan, tell me, where is your hot date?” He asked some minutes later.

“I don’t know”, I answered honestly.

“I’m not surprised he didn’t come. I mean, who would want to go out with you?” He turned to me. “Now, would you please leave this table? We kind of need your seat.”

“No, I think I’ll stay a little longer”, I replied.

He sighed, grabbed a note pad and a pen that one of his friends was offering with a smirk I couldn’t understand. He wrote something on it and passed it to me. “You are even dumber than I thought. You should have figured out hours ago.”

Sorry, couldn’t make it



It was the same handwriting as the little love letter I found in my locker this morning.

“Ding, ding!” Edward made.

I just stood up and ran out of the diner. How could I have been so stupid and believe that there actually was a secret admirer. It was me! Bella Swan! I didn’t have friends and especially not secret admirers. Of course there had to be some mean game behind this. And mean games always meant Edward Cullen.

Why was he doing this to me? Didn’t he have any feelings at all? When one thing was sure…

I did have feelings. For him.


Age seventeen


It was the end of junior year. I was on my way to Alice Cullen. She was the first friend I ever had and there was no one else more surprised than me that it was her. His sister.

It started at the beginning of the school year when we had to do a project together for our English class. At first, I was convinced that this would end in a disaster, but after we spent an afternoon together there was just no denying. We were on the same wavelength and soon became best friends. She included me into her little group of friends, which was nice. It also was this time, when the attacks of her brother stopped. I assumed she had a hand in this. She also was trying to convince me more and more that he actually was a really nice guy and we just started off the wrong foot. I couldn’t believe her.

I went straight to Alice’s room once I arrived at the Cullen’s house. She sat at her dressing table, giving her eye shadow a new order as it appeared.

“Hi”, I said when I entered.

She looked up. “Finally! You are late.”

“Yes, I know. I’m sorry. I nearly burnt Dad’s dinner because I was on the phone and… I’m sorry. I’m here now.”

“That’s ok. How about we start with a little make over?”

“Do we have to?” I asked as if I were in pain.

“Yes, we do. This is a sleep over and sleep overs start with make overs.”

“Ok”, I gave in. “You do to me whatever you feel necessary to do.”

“Great!” she exclaimed.

I didn’t get to see what she did to me. She gave me one of her dressing gowns to wear over my underwear. We bought it on our last shopping trip and she told me to wear it tonight, so I could feel girly. Sometimes Alice really was a little crazy, but that was just her. And I loved that part about her.

I felt her pulling back my hair and doing something with my face. It felt nice and refreshing. Then she used some different brushes on me and brought them to different parts of my face. When she was finished with that, she began to work on my hair. She used her curler and some wax. To make it shiny, she explained to me.

“Finished”, she finally said. “Now, I have this dress I want you to wear. Do you think you could do that for me?”

“I guess”, I said slowly.

She went to her wardrobe and came back with a beautiful dress that reminded me of one I had as a child.

I put it on, feeling the silky fabric on my skin.

“What do you think about watching some movies?” Alice asked. “My family won’t be interrupting us, if we use the living room, I made sure of that.”

“Yea, we can do that. I don’t mind. But don’t you want me to give you a make over as well?”

“Naw, I’m good. I just always wanted to give you one.” She looked at me for a moment. “Why don’t you go ahead? I really need to go to the bathroom, before we start watching movies.”

“I can wait, that’s fine”, I said.

“What about you go ahead and chose the movie, so we can start watching whenever I’m finished?”

“But what if you don’t like my choice?”

She seemed a little impatient, now. “When did I ever not like your choice? Just go, it’s fine.”

“OK, well then… see you in a bit.”

She nodded and turned to her bathroom. I left through her door and went downstairs. The door to the living room was closed. I opened it slowly and peeked in to make sure there really was not anybody in there.

But there was.

“Oh. I’m sorry. Alice said, we could watch a movie in here and there would be nobody. Sorry”, I quickly apologized when I saw Edward in the middle of the room.

“No, please, come in.” He said, waving is hand.

I took a step inside, watching my surroundings. He was kneeling on a blanket that was spread in front of the open fire. All around the room there were several candles enlightened. There also was a basket which looked as if it belonged to a picnic set.

“That dress looks lovely on you”, he whispered, standing up. He came over to me, gently took my hand from the doorknob and closed the door behind me. “Don’t you want to join me?” He asked, his breath fanned my face.

“I… I…” I didn’t know what to say.

He led me to the blanket and sat down, pleading me with his eyes to join him. I did. He leant over to the basket and opened it.

“Do you want some sand cookies? It’s a funny name, right? I guess they are called it because they have the color of sand. So, do you want one?”

He brought a tray out of the basket and held it in front of me. There really were cookies on it which had the color of sand. They smelled delicious.

I nodded and took one, as did he, before he brought the tray down to the floor.

He took a bite of it and only after I felt encouraged to also do so. I had bad experience with this boy when it came to sand cookies. It was over fourteen years ago, but I still remembered it like it had been yesterday.

“They really are good. Did your mother make them?” I also remembered his brother Emmett once saying his Mom was the best cook.

He smiled sheepishly. “No, I made them. I had to practice a lot, until they were as good as those.”

“Why would you try so hard?”

He looked down, but never answered.

When I was finished with the cookie, he brought his hands to the pocket of his slacks – I don’t think I had ever before seen him wearing slacks and I really wondered why he did now – and held a sheet of paper in his hand only seconds later. He handed it over.

Slowly I opened it and recognized it immediately. It was the poem I wrote all those years ago for homework, the one he took from me.

“I never handed it in as mine”, he said. “I always kept it. I read it so often, I know it by heart. It really is amazing.” His eyes searched for mine. “Turn it over”, he asked.

I did. There was something written on the back I hadn’t seen before. One line in his nice hand writing.

Will you go on a date with me, please?



It dropped out of my hands. “Edward…” I whispered. “What is all of this? You are giving me sand cookies, when fourteen years ago you said making them was stupid and destroyed mine. You compliment me on a dress that looks like the one I wore on my seventh birthday, when you made me trip and it became all dirty. You give me back a poem I wrote about my mother five years after stealing it from me in the meanest manner. And on the backside of it you ask me out on a date when only three years ago you tricked me in waiting for a secret admirer so you can make fun of me having no friends. Why are you doing this?”

“Because I like you”, he said simply.

“No.” I said harshly. “No, you don’t like me. Is this another one of your tricks? And… and Alice is part of this? Did she only become my friend so you can play another one of your mean games with me? I can’t believe I fell for this. I should have known better than to befriend with a Cullen. How could she? How dare you!” I stood up. “I’m leaving. And I better not hear from you again. I don’t want to ever see you again!”

I stomped of to the door. I knew I would have to see him again. After this weekend, in school. But I would never talk to him. Or to Alice. I would ignore them and if it was the last thing I did.

“No, wait, Bella! Please, wait. I can explain this.”

He ran to overtake me and stood between me and the door. There was no way out, now. “Well this better be good.”

“It is”, he said sincerely. “I was a stupid little boy in the past, I know that. And I was mean and arrogant and I certainly didn’t treat you the way I should have treated you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. It is the truth, Bella. I do like you. I always have. I just… I didn’t know. I only knew my brain was funny around you and being the cool boy I thought I was, I treated you like mud. Nobody could know that I had those kind of feelings and so I did everything to cover them. I was an asshole. I know. I was even worse. But I know better, now. And I will do everything to make up for this. Bella, please, give me a chance. Go

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