Sweet Heart - Trina T (good books to read in english txt) 📗

at me and kicking me. He kicked me so many times I thought I was going to break in half.” I stopped for a second, I needed a break.

Ryder’s eyes were watery when he said. “But Cole, your bruises look new.”

“This started a month ago and almost every night I come home my dad asked me if I talked to you or if I saw you. And he’d just keep beating me…”

“So this is my fault?” Ryder had tears falling down his face.

“What? No! How is this your fault?” I was shocked that Ryder would even say that. My dad was the one doing this to me, not Ryder.

“It is, Cole. Don’t try and cover. If I never would have tried to get you to turn away with me, if we never would-would have ma-made love. Then your dad wouldn’t have done this to you. I’m so sorry, sweet heat.” Ryder leaned over and hugged me.
“Ryder, it’s not your fault. Ok? If it wasn’t you then it would have been anything else my dad could think of to beat me.

“Stop Cole, I know it is. It was always about me. Ryder looked so hurt.

“No, no, no, it’s not! We were young and stupid and we weren’t thinking about consequences. You regret it? You regret loving me?” I wasn’t sure how to react to Ryder’s words, did he really regret making love to me? Did he regret ever meeting me?

“I don’t regret any of that! Don’t ever, ever think that I would regret anything we ever did. I just regret not being able to be there to protect you from that mother fucker!”

Ryder was still hugging me. I twisted up so that I could see his face. I reached up and touched his jaw line with the tips of my fingers. I could feel some stubble on his smooth looking face.

Ryder
As Cole touched my face all my anger and guilt disappeared. All the hate I had for her fucking father was put to the back of my mind.

“Please don’t be mad anymore.” Cole said sweetly

“I can never be mad when you are so close to me.” I said and smiled.

“What a line!”

“Shut up and kiss me, sweet heart.” I said pulling her face to mine.


***
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” I asked Cole.

Her face was pale and she looked worried and scared. Cole just nodded her head.

“Sweet heart, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do-I do want to, I’m, I’m, I’m ne-nervous.”

Whenever Cole got nervous she always tripped over her words, sp she never really had to tell me she was nervous.

“Cole, your shaking.”

“Am not! I’m-I’m just cold.”

I laughed. “Liar.”

We were laying in Coles bed. Her dad was out on a business trip and he was going to be gone for 3 days so Cole and I discussed that this would be the perfect time to lose our virginities to each other. We were sophomores and we had been going out for over a year. We figured it was a good time. I absolutely loved Cole, with all my heart and I knew she loved me too. But her shaking like she was, I was starting to have doubts about his little plan of ours.
I rolled over on my side roaming my hand over her bare stomach. “Shhh, relax, my sweet heart.” I kissed her neck and moved to her lips.

We kissed for another few minutes before we finally broke away from one another.

Cole said “Ok. I-I think I’m ready…”

“You sure?” I was trying to be brace for Cole, but I was just as nervous as her. I knew the first time for girls always hurt, I wished it didn’t. I didn’t want to hurt Cole. I didn’t want her to think I wanted to hurt her like her dad. I wanted to show her that I was a good guy.

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“It’s ok, Ryder. I know it’s going to hurt, I won’t hold it against you.” She smiled lightly.
I felt a little bit better after she said that, but I was still nervous.

I put the condom on and she guided me inside her. I tried to go slow but she was so tight, I didn’t know if I was doing it right. I looked at her face as I finally pushed myself all the way inside her. She took a sharp intake of breath and bit her bottom lip. I didn’t want her to hurt herself, I dint want her to cause herself more pain. So I kissed her, I forced her mouth open and my tongue in her mouth. I wanted her to give me her pain. I wish she could transfer all her pain to me instead, I wanted to take it all.
I kept thursting slowly into her, making sure she was ok. After a little while she began to respond without the feeling of pain.

“I love you.” Cole said into my ear.

“I love you too, sweet heart.”

***

“Wake up!”

I heard someone forcefully telling me to wake up but I was too tired to care. I wanted to go back to my dream of the first time Cole and I made love. But whoever it was, was persistent.

“What?” I growled.

I opened my eyes to see Kyle standing in front of me. I lifted my head up and noticed I was in the living room and the back of my neck was stiff! What the hell? I thought

“What the fuck happened last night?” Kyle whispered at me.

“What do you mean?” I went to go get up but there was something on my lap. I looked down; Cole was laying across the couch with her head on my lap. I was in the sitting position. No wonder my neck is stiff, I thought. I also saw the T.V. was still on.

“What time is it?” I asked Kyle rubbing my palms over my eyes.

“Two in the afternoon! Why the fuck is she here? What’s going on?”

Kyle was beyond pissed. He never hated Cole, actually he used to love having her around. Kyle graduated with Cole’s brother. But when her father found out about Cole and I and our plan to run away together, he went into a rage. He was furious. That night, he attacked Cole right in front of me, he beat her worse than ever before. Then he went after me. But the worst part was he called the cops, saying I was the one who beat up Cole and he had tried to stop me. He told them I was trying to kill her and that I was going to try and kill him too so he had to beat the living hell out of me in order to defend himself, which was total bull! The cops didn’t truly believe him. Cole’s dad was a big man and could have easily stopped me from doing anything. I told the cops the truth but it was still hard for them to believe that Coles dad, the well respected business man, would ever beat his daughter. Rumors were flying after everything was out. No one pressed charges against Coles dad but even though they didn’t really believe his arguments, it was easier to pin everything on me. So my parents, then alive, decided to ship me to California to live with my uncle. They didn’t want me to be around Cole, they wanted me to “Start over.”, their words, not mine.

A year after they shipped me out to California they died in a car accident. A year after that Kyle and my uncle decided it would best if I came to live with Kyle again. No one asked what I wanted to move back, just like no one asked if I wanted to move away. Everything was just decided for me.

Kyle never really blamed Cole foe what happened with me, like my parents did. He understood why I was always getting into trouble out in California and I was always pissed off, he said I was ‘acting out’. He got that she couldn’t help what her dad did. But he also understood that with Cole around me, her father wasn’t too far behind.

“I can’t believe you brought her here! Are you insane? Are you asking to get killed?”

“Shut up!” I whispered harshly as I gently moved Cole’s head from my lap so I could go yell at my brother without waking her up.

We walked inside his room and shut the door. “I had no choice!” I said before he could even get a word out.

“Bullshit! We agreed, when you moved back you would stay away from her!” he ran his hand threw his hair. Kyle was frustrated.

“What was I supposed to do? I have been here a month and this is the first time I have actually really talked to her! Do you know how hard that was for me! Besides I wasn’t about to let her go back to her dad!” I spat.

“Ryder, she lives with her dad! He still has control in her life! You can’t protect her from that. He is her dad!”

“Kyle you don’t understand! He fractured her ribs when he found out I was back and his kept beating her sense! You really think I should just let her go back home to him?” I wasn’t sure if he really thought that Cole should go or if he was just pissed at me.

“Her dad did what?” Kyle’s face showed his shock. “How do you know?”

“She showed me her side. And in turn I saw the rest of her back. He side is all black! Just black! It’s like he just kept hitting the same spot!” I was desperate for him to understand me. “He did all of that, just because I was back. Just because of me!”
“Ryder, what her father does to her is not your fault. You can’t protect her all the time.”

“I know I can’t but I want, I want to! I want to with everything I have! I left her, just like her brother did. I didn’t call, or write. Nothing! Just like her brother and her mom. She was alone with her fucking dad! ALONE! God knows what else he’s done to her! Kyle, when she showed me her ribs, I saw all the other bruises. Bruises that are from all different times, he’s been hitting her regularly…”

“Are you sure? That’s pretty serious to saw about someone.”

I groaned. “Kyle, why would I lie about this? Hasn’t the past showed you anything about him? He beat the hell out of me too and tried to get me sent to