Entitled - cama seeney (debian ebook reader txt) 📗

I was alone, me on my own was good enough. I didn't feel that need to better myself.

 

I walked back into the dining room as nurses rushed around taking peoples vitals, fiddling with their watches to see how they faired. The nurse from eairler walked over to me and asked me to sit down, I complied as she took out a needle, I didn't move - I allowed her to take my blood and didn't feel any pain when she took a vile out of her pocket and got another syringe, she inserted the red looking serum into my blood stream.

 

She took the rubber tie off my arm and patted my shoulder, placing a cotten bud on my arm and taping it there 'your glucose and vitamin levels were  low, I just topped them up.' She told me smiling before walking out of the room, no one else got the special treatment I did, wasn't I drinking vitamins all day? Strange.

 

That was all quickly forgotten as chicken salad was passed out, the protein stopped the muscle pains that had began. After eating I nodded to Alyce and Jack before leaving for my room. Rose and Logan were sat amount other people, Beth was sending me glares across the room.

 

Rolling my eyes and left, the treck to my room was short but I grew ever more tired with each step, it may have only been half six but I was ready for sleep. I threw off my clothes and threw on plain black sleeping shorts and a black plain tee shirt - did they not have any other colour? I thought to myself, I led in my comfy bed but found the sheets too soft and blanket too heavy, I threw it off of me and rolled over.

The mattress creaked and I rolled off the bed with annoyance, I rolled up on the floor above my blanket. I felt better on the floor - more grounded. I began thinking what would happen if aTeddy and my son was alive surely I would would be eating biscuits and watching crappy tv feeling my little man kick, wanting to be free of the bounds of my body.

 

I sighed and rolled on to my side curling into a tight ball holding my considerably smaller body tight, I was all alone. I would be stronger for them, better. I would never let this happen to anyone again - it was my fault they didn't survive. My mother was right, I had murdered them...

 

It was all my fault,  my actions led to their death. To my horrific survival, I would trade my life for theirs in a heartbeat.

 

...

 

I am to blame

I awoke with a start I didn't know where I was, a fine sheen of sweat covered my whole body, I felt sticky and gross . The sweet sickly smell of sweat overpowered my senses. I gasped as pain wracked trailed across my body, my stomach was afire, the blemished skin burned with a feirce passion - it must have been what had awoke me. The burning spread to my limbs one by one I couldn't move them, it felt like something held me down. The sensation travelled towards my heart, I panted little gasps of air and moaned softly, I didn't think I was able to still utter sound.

 

No I wasn't aloud too, my very voice had led to his death. My fault. I deserved this, I wasn't aloud to call out for help. My whole body shook and I bit my lip in pain, blood slowly dripped down my chin. The physical pain calmed me, I could understand physics pain. I clenched my hands into fits my fingers making little half cresent marks in my skin. I awaited this strange fevers passing, I felt like I led their for hours, shaking with the pain.

 

Eventually it subsided into a dull thrumming in the back of my mind - my body was still hot with the soaring heat. I quickly stood up and threw off my clothes replacing them with my work out gear, I took my boots in my hands and tiptoed out, when I got to the entrance I slipped them on and slowly opened the creaky door, I left the door slightly open and sprinted towards the L shaped shelter.

 

Five minuets later and I was there, my breath was erratic.

 

I stood infront of the board and confessed my sins.

MURDERER

 

BETRAYAL

 

SELFISH

 

KILLER

 

MURDERER

 

BETRAYAL

 

SELFISH

 

KILLER.

 

I completed each exercise untill the burning was gone and then some more. I was found sweating and shaking hours later, as the sun was climbing up the horizon. The trainer watched me for sometime, I felt his eyes, they already knew. They all knew what I was. He didn't say anything to me, slowly he walked over and began his own exercise confessing his own sins.

 

Murder

Betrayer

Selfish

Sinner

killer

 

I stopped when my wrist began beeping at me, it was breakfast time. I sighed before nodding to the burley man and jogging away. The breakfast hall was empty, I ate three bars before the first footsteps echoed above me. I drank a bottle of the strangely coloured water and then another.

I was the first to leave the house and the others followed.

 

' Names' he called out.

 

I began forming my name with letters I couldn't say. A language I no longer held the right to speak. My head my personal hell. We began training like yesterday, my body was already aching. I ignored it, pain means your alive. The dead don't feel anything, for them I would stand it.

 

I wouldn't break and cry, I learned to take a hit and throw one back. To break someone's hold on me and then it was over. The lesson flew past in what seemed like seconds, Logan didn't speak to me that was okay though the silence was nice. He didn't scream at me or get angry like he did yesterday, if I got hit he would repeats the move until I blocked it, he was a good partner.

 

We jogged back through the woods, in the dining room smoothies awaited us - Niki stood in the corner discussing something with her daughter, the girl - Sam? From yesterday walked up to me. 'Your fitting in well.' She informed me smiling, crooked teeth shone throw her dark hair got in her face and she shoved it away with annoyance. I shrugged and drank the rest of the smoothie down - it was filled with all kinds of fruit and a slight tinge of that copper I was anticipating.

 

Nikkis daughter walked towards me and nodded for me to follow her into the nurses office. She checked out my ankle and told me off for taking off the bandage yesterday but it no longer looked like I needed one. She took the rest of my stitches out and rubbed ointment on my ankle and stomach. Again she took my blood and took out the strange bottle, she gave me almost double the dose this time.

 

I left and began walking to the training range, warehouse again. 'Get into your groups.' The woman told us, she was wearing almost exactly the same as yesterday though her hair was left down today. I got into the third line as the blond man and woman walked into the room they smiled at each other before splitting and standing next to the brown haired woman. 'Today you will be doing the same as yesterday though you'll be doing a different activity. Lauren will be taking the archers and Jason will be taking those going to the gun range.' She called out - what was her name?

 

I sighed as Jason walked towards my group, ugh prepare for Beths endless flirting I thought to myself bitterly. Sam, Beth, Jack, and myself were in this group. The girl Beth was bitch at me with yesterday was also in our group, I didn't recognise any of the others in the gun group so I just shrugged it off and followed Beth who was on Jason's heals.

 

Jack and sam caught my expression and laughed, Jason turned around at caught it seconds before my expressionless demeanour was back. He grinned at me before looking at Beth and laughing, she looked terrified. 'Ha..have I got something on my face?' She asked in a small voice, I wanted to laugh so badly I placed my hand over my mouth as a silently laugh made my chest vibrate with the pressure of holding in the laugh. Jason looked at me and laughed some more before turning around and walking out of the room. The rest of the students looked dumbfounded.

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Publication Date: 03-22-2016

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