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the door. I slowly turned the knob and poked my head inside. I saw Isaac and Jordan both look up from the bed at me. I smiled tentatively and said, "Isaac, your mom said that I can put my stuff in the spare bedroom... Where is it?" I stood back slowly as he glanced at Jordan and got up off of the bed. 

"Give me like, two seconds. Jordan, you can either stay and talk, or you can wait... Your choice. I have to help her with this." I saw him look at me then back to Jordan. When Jordan didn't say anything he just shrugged his shoulders. "Your choice. Whatever man. Just, do me a favor, don't terrify her..." At those words I looked at Jordan.

"Don't worry. You're going to be fine. I just wanted to talk to you later about something important. Would that be okay? Or would you rather do it now?" I thought about this for a second. From the look on his face I decided he didn't want to do it now. "We can talk later. What I'd really like right now is my sweater. I'm feeling completely out of my element without it."

Isaac chuckled and tossed it to me. Pulling it on I immediatly felt myself calm down. I looked over at him and then back to the door. "Well, are we going to go? I'd kind of like to see what I have to work with here. And what's my budget?" His head shot up at the last word. 

"Budget? Casey, my dad's a psychologist. My mom has a lot of spare time so she does a lot of weird stuff that brings in quite a bit of money. Jordan works all the time. You don't have a budget. We're going to get you what ever you want." With those words he threw his arm over my shoulder and led me down the hall.

"You're kidding right? I've got money in my bag. I can use that. It's really no problem." He just rolled his eyes and pushed the door open. I looked at the room carefully. Two windows. Walk in closet. My own bathroom? "Holy. Shit. Is that a bathroom?" Isaac looked at it then to me. 

"Yup. You seem surprised. Why?" I laughed and looked at the floor. "I have my own bathroom at my house. Except, I never get to use it." He looked at me like I was lying or something. "I'm not joking. I got banned from that bathroom and I don't even know why..."

He didn't say anything just shook his head. "Well, this one's all yours. Feel free to use it any time you want. No rules on the amount of time you can take to shower!" He smiled at me and I just laughed. 

"Well, maybe we should go downstairs and eat something and then get headed to the mall." I looked over to see him walking back towards his room. "Hey! What're you doing?" He either was ignoring me or didn't hear me. I followed him quickly and saw him with Jordan. I stopped short when I saw the flowers in Jordan's hand. 

"I thought you might want something for your room. Morning glories. For our own morning glory." He grinned sheepishly as he handed them to me in a vase. I took it tentatively and smiled up at him. "Thanks."

"No problem." With that he was out of the room and walking back to his own. I looked questioningly at Isaac. He just shook his head and said, "You'll have to talk to him later. Now, how about the mall?"

Kissing Up

Walking up to the mall I felt myself go stiff. I had only been in here a couple times. And never on the weekends. All the kids from school were here during the weekends. Isaac hadn't noticed me stop and kept walking. When he realized I wasn't with him he turned around and came back. "Hey, it's going to be all right. Okay? Come on. You're with me. You'll be fine." 

"I dont know... I- I only come here once every couple of months. I don't know where anything is. It's all just one big jumbled up mess." He watched my face as I said this taking it all in.

"That's fine. Here, let me see your hand. If anybody asks, though, I will tell them I'm gay. I don't care if it's kids from school or not." I felt him intertwine his fingers in mine and guide me gently down the sidewalk. I looked down at my feet as we walked. I needed some new shoes...

"Yo! Schizo!" I kept my head down but pulled my hood up. I knew exactly who it was. And I wasn't going to respond. I could feel Isaac gripping my hand tighter now. "Don't listen to them. Just keep walking. You're fine. If they come anywhere near you, I'll protect you. Come on." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kept pushing me forward.

"I was talking to you. Hello? What, gonna let your boyfriend protect you? God, you are such a fucking slut. No wonder Mark dumped you. You can't keep your legs together." I felt Isaac slow and let go of me. He stepped in front of me as he spoke. "I am not her boyfriend, thank you very much. In fact, I'm gay. Now, if you have any further commentary I'm sure that everybody in the mall would love to hear you calling this poor girl a slut."

He looked right at them without any hesitation in his voice or stance. They stood there quietly before they started laughing. "Dude! You just admitted you're gay! You have no shame bro. No shame. Man, I'd say I respect you but- I can't have respect for a queer. Let's get out of here guys." They walked down the sidewalk and eventually turned a corner. 

"You're shaking." I looked at my hand to see that I was indeed shaking. "Yeah... I guess I am..." He looked at me carefully before saying, "Do you want your pills?" I looked at the ground as I spoke. "No. I'm just going to let this one run its course. I'm done with this. With everything... Let's go shop..." 

I went around him and started walking. I heard him run to catch up with me. "Casey... What's going on?" I ignored him as I walked into the first store I saw that sold bedding. "Casey. Talk to me. Please. What's going on?" I continued to ignore him. I walked faster and I could hear him struggling to keep pace. Suddenly he grabbed my arm. "Casey. What's going on?" 

I stopped and looked at him. How could I explain this? "My mom called... She left a message on my phone. She said that she wasn't going to have some freak like me living in her house. She said she went through my drawers. She found my knife. The blades. The pills... She said I can't ever come back. She said that if I come back then she's calling the cops..." I stood there looking at him as he took all of this in. I had checked my phone while I was waiting for him to get ready before we left his house. Mom had always told me I had to be out at eighteen. She had never said anything about kicking me out. 

 

Imprint

Text: This is all written by me. I'm basing it very, VERY loosely off of my own life experiences. If you would like to use any of the material in it, please inbox me regarding which material and I'll get back to you.
Images: All images were taken off of Google. None of them are done by me.
Editing: Me
Translation: Me
Publication Date: 04-27-2013

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
I'm going to dedicate this to everyone who's struggled with anything in their life that they didn't want to share with people. I know what it's like. There's always a reason behind it. There's at least one person that you can talk to. No matter what. Think really hard about it. Because there's always at least one person who you would hurt by leaving. Remember that. Love you guys! You're all great!

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