The gospel of Itchy Wiggle Christ - Gregory-John McCormick, Ralf Dellhofen (best memoirs of all time txt) 📗

the few, the pain of the many, dreams shattered and laying broken across the universe. disease, a pox be upon you, young grégor, and know this: even tho i, who am your god, know that nothing really hurts you all that much, i will inflict upon you pox and plague for all the remaining days of your life. i answer you, "god": you are only one god among many - you are the god of the jews and the christians, and apparently the muslims as well, but what-the-fuck the muslims believe in i cannot quite tell - i have shunned and forsaken you, mister god, just as you have shunned and forsaken me for all my 40 years of pain. you can do no more to me than what you already have done - the sickness, the loss, the pain - you have driven me into the depths of hell all of my life, but i have survived, and my survival is due to forces other than yours - the very forces in which you and your gaggle of followers on earth have tried so very hard to extinguish from human memory - the fact that other gods and goddesses exist and it is they who protect the few of us who have always believed there is something wrong with you and your organized religion of earth. yes, i tell you now, "god", i am onto your lies and deceit, your tricks to pull in all the suckers, your threats that you are the one-and-only god and all other gods must be forsaken. why would you demand that your followers forsake all other gods but then say you are the one-and-only god? this is double-speak, a lie, a false truth. you are not the one-and-only, you are jealous and afraid of the other gods and goddesses. and you should be, for they are compassionate, powerful, and helpful to us who know your filthy sunday lies. eat shit and die.

 

i spit my last breath at thee, oh damned whale! i dreamed of death, and when i awoke, i did not know whose death it was. brighid, i hear you, i feel you, your gentle firm touch upon my soul, help me so that i may help you - with this i pledge to you my life and soul. into the fiery pit of hell i walk, cast down by the evil of man, but i only feel your gentle touch, the cool soft breeze of your whisper. i am yours, brighid, now and forever. a greek army on persian soil, a german army in mother russia, the black army of the americas marching over iraq - bitter hatred, foolish greed, oil for blood - who is god and who is man and who is teaching who is speak? choose glory for yourself and slice open the throats of untold millions. the life you extinguish with your modern weaponry could have given birth to a maker of peace, one who could have saved the life of your progeny - but pope george bush orders you to kill, so you kill, and all the while the usa protects and defends its inhabitants: the slaves and the weak, the greedy and the ugly, the violent drug-addled filth that have destroyed the urban centers of america, living and dying by the crack cocaine and the handgun of cowardice, the middle-class filled with materialistic white anglo-saxon protestant serfs, making mediocrity and sloth a way of life, giving birth to retarded children who are more in tune with violent video games than reading, writing, or arithmatics. this skum and filth are what you kill for, young naive american soldier, so shoot well and true, be sure to kill all those bad guys in iraq that are trying to save their sovereignity. god, your god of the jews, is on your side, just as both george bushes have said. kill in the name of jesus, kill in the name of crack-cocaine, kill in the name of violent rap music, kill in the name of black-on-white rape, kill in the name of mediocrity, kill for the white-bread middle-class, kill for jesus, kill for jesus, KILL FOR JESUS - GEORGE - BILL - CLINTON - BUSH- HILLARY - THE - LESBIAN - OJ SIMPSON! KILL TO KEEP THE MICHIGAN PRISONS OPEN! KILL TO KEEP THE TRI-LATERAL COMMISSION AND THE HOLY ORDER OF MASONICS IN POWER! KILL FOR YOUR GOD: MONEY! KILL FOR MCDONALDS AND OBESITY AND A DEPLETED OZONE AND WHITE-MEAT CHICKEN MCNUGGETS! don´t die soldier, the world needs you.

 

the price of gas in the usa is one dollar, ninety four cents for one gallon, a gallon being about two liters or so. this price is still ridiculously low compared to european gas prices, yet the amis are going out of their minds, assuming they have a mind, that is, because the price is so high. there is no real solid reason why the gas is so expensive, but here is my rede on the situation: the usa government/bush/tri-lateral commission/etc. is keeping the prices sky high so that all the amis with their crappy cars FREAKOUT over the prices - then the US government maintains the war in iraq and afghanistan, letting out subtle hints that if more control were maintained and excercised in the mid-east, then the price of gas will go down and then all the fat-piggy americans will have more extra money to buy macs and whopper-burgers. in this way the idiot americans do not complain about the american army marching all over the world like the twenty-first-century nazis that they are, controlling every country, being the world police. this seems to be a sound theory to me, but then, the american government really does not give a flying-fucking-shit what any ami or any person in the world thinks or does - if there were a revolt in the usa, the government would simply crack-down on the population, declare a military state, and use the "national guard" to police the people and control the prison camps, which would surely be instituted - hell, in michigan alone there is already a fine prison camp system, i should know - and the national guard are really not more than a not-so-secret army that the US government keeps ready to crack-down on the ami peep-holes. the usa is so very very close to becomming a military police state. maybe george bush will grow a little square hitler-moustaches when he declares himself the "supreme overlord-führer of the fourth reich" and begins to take over the world in not such a secret manner as he is doing now. ja, who cares, right?

 

what depths a man can be cast down into, and he is so soon forgotten. so many can fall but only few are ever elevated. i am the flea on the ball-sack of a rabid rat, and i am a diseased flea at that. sadness, pain, loneliness, and loss are my only companions, i hate myself too much to ever be my own best friend. i can think back with longing and pain about the times i was once elevated and lauded. those were the days, my friend, i thought they´d never end. but the fall comes too quickly and it is always inevitable - shit, just ask saddam hussein or adolfus hister-hitler or sid vicious or jeffrey dahmer. or just ask me, i can tell you of the fall, of the pain, the entropy that follows. just write me a letter, care of the prison i am dying in, i´ll write you back and tell you all about LIFE.

 

i awoke this morning sick with another cold virus creeping through my already weakened sickly body. green-yellow mucous dripping out my sinus cavities, heavy little to alleviate these symptoms, as the prison considers any drug that may help one get through a cold virus to be contraband and illegal for prisoners to have. only these shitty yellow allergy pills are allowed, and they do very little but dry up the mucous, making it clumpy and difficult to blow out my nose. ach, woe is me, that i should suffer this much more in an already intolerable existence in captivity at the hands of the michigan nazis. but this is my lot in life - to suffer - and perhaps i can only imagine that if i were free, i would most probably be suffering all the same - albeit i would be free and able to take drug i could find to hide from the life of suffering as i am so wont to fo, or in the least i could down a big bottle of bushmills irish whiskey. this i have found to be the greatest cure for the common cold, and bushmills serves so very well as a cold remedy - i am able to get stinking drunk, forget about life in general, and more often than not i am cured of my cold when i get done with my drinking spree. altho i have found that LSD often serves to cure the cold virus as well, and LSD coupled with bushmills or five bottles of mumm trocken sekt, a very dry and delicious german champagne, often cures me of every virus, diease, discomfort and mental illness that may be lurking in my 40-year-old body. well, actually my 35-year-old body, since the last time i injested acid and alcohol was before the nazis incarcerated my sick ass. it was new year´s eve, in the apartment of one girl named carol, whom i´ve known for many years and had a strange relationship with. only too late did i realize that i loved this girl, that i could marry her and be happy the rest of my days with her. she did not feel the same as i, obviously - if she had, i may not be in prison as i am - but to attempt to breakdown the reasons why i ended up in prison involves a great amount of conjecture and second-guessing. and even tho i still feel strongly about carol, the same can be said for all the girls who were either my wife or girlfriend - i cannot think of any of them without feeling a strong sense of either love or hate. there are no ambivalent feelings for any of them, but, that is me - i voluntarily carry around my emotional baggage. but i have memories, and memories are all i have now. so maybe it is good that i cling to emotions and thoughts of carol, the mushroom girl in berlin, gerry, sabina, others. lots of shit led up to me coming to prison, maybe all of my experiences with girls and more have led to my demise. maybe i would be better off as a butterfly. maybe i can dream i am a butterfly.

 

now we are cooking. now our souls burn in eternal torment for the sins we committed in our physical lives. so now that you burn, can you remember all the innocent animals you ate during your lifetime? do you still believe that your life is worth more than the life of the animals you ate? and as your body took in the dead flesh of the animals to keep your physical body alive, and you spent your life committing one evil act after another, did you ever once think about the incredible amount of bad energy you have created? the unhappiness you have caused? or do you believe that you are separate from the world you life in, that nothing you do, good or bad, makes any difference at all? i cannot tell you what is right or wrong, i cannot say you "should" do this or you "ought" to do that. i am as lost as anyone else. but i can tell you that i feel better when i remain still inside, i try to be a good man without expending too much energy. no good deed