South Wind(Fiscle Part-3) - Norman Douglas (ebook e reader .TXT) 📗
- Author: Norman Douglas
Book online «South Wind(Fiscle Part-3) - Norman Douglas (ebook e reader .TXT) 📗». Author Norman Douglas
Particularly Anxious For You To Come To-Night. Can't You Really Manage
It? I Want You To Meet Malipizzo And Say A Few Nice Words To Him. You
Are Too Aloof With That Man. There Is Nothing Like Keeping On The Right
Side Of The Law."
"What Do You Mean By That?"
"The Right Side Of The Judge," Said Keith. "It Is So Easy To Be
Polite To People, And So Advisable In Some Cases. How Would You Like
To Spend A Week Or Two In Gaol? He Will Have You There One Of These
Days, Unless You Have Placed Him Under Some Kind Of Obligation. He
Represents Justice Here. I Know You Don't Like Him. But What Would
It Cost You--Just A Friendly Handshake?"
"He Cannot Touch Me. I Have Nothing On My Conscience."
"Conscience, My Dear Fellow, Is A Good Servant But A Bad Master. Your
Sentiments Are English. They Will Never Do In A Country Where The
Personal Element Still Counts For Something."
"The Personal Element Signifying Favouritism And Venality?" Asked
Eames. "A Pretty State Of Affairs!"
"The Philosopher Can Only Live Under A Venal Government."
"I Disagree With You Altogether."
"You Always Disagree With Me," Answered Keith. "And You Always Find
Yourself In The Wrong. You Remember How I Warned You About That Little
Affair Of Yours? You Remember What An Ass You Made Of Yourself?"
"What Little Affair?" Enquired Eames, With A Tinge Of Resignation In
His Voice.
The Other Did Not Reply. Mr. Keith Could Be Tactful, On Occasions. He
Pretended To Be Absorbed In Cutting A Cigar.
"What Little Affair?" Insisted The Bibliographer, Fearful Of What Was
Coming Next.
It Came.
"Oh, That Balloon Business. . . ."
It Was Not True To Say Of Mr. Eames That He Lived On Nepenthe Because
He Was Wanted By The London Police For Something That Happened In
Richmond Park, That His Real Name Was Not Eames At All But Daniels--The
Notorious Hodgson Daniels, You Know, Who Was Mixed Up In The Lotus Club
Scandal, That He Was The Local Representative Of An International Gang
Of White-Slave Traffickers Who Had Affiliated Offices In Every Part Of
The World, That He Was Not A Man At All But An Old Boarding-House
Keeper Who Had Very Good Reasons For Assuming The Male Disguise, That
He Was A Morphinomaniac, A Disfrocked Baptist Minister, A Pawnbroker
Out Of Work, A Fire-Worshipper, A Transylvanian, A Bank Clerk Who Had
Had A Fall, A Decayed Jockey Who Disgraced Himself At A Subsequent
Period In Connection With Some East-End Mission For Reforming The Boys
Of Bermondsey And Then, After Pawning His Mother's Jewelry, Writing
Anonymous Threatening Letters To Society Ladies About Their Husbands
And Vice-Versa, Trying To Blackmail Three Cabinet Ministers And
Tricking Poor Servant-Girls Out Of Their Hard-Earned Wages By The Sale
Of Sham Bibles, Was Luckily Run To Earth In Piccadilly Circus, After An
Exciting Chase, With A Forty-Pound Salmon Under His Arm Which He Had
Been Seen To Lift From The Window Of A Bond Street Fishmonger.
All These Things, And A Good Many More, Had Been Said. Eames Knew It.
Kind Friends Had Seen To That.
To Contrive Such Stories Was A Certain Lady's Method Of Asserting Her
Personality On The Island. She Seldom Went Into Society Owing To Some
Physical Defect In Her Structure; She Could Only Sit At Home, Like
Penelope, Weaving These And Other Bright Tapestries--Odds And Ends Of
Servants' Gossip, Patched Together By The Virulent Industry Of Her Own
Disordered Imagination. It Consoled Mr. Eames Slightly To Reflect That
He Was Not The Only Resident Singled Out For Such Aspersions; That The
More Harmless A Man's Life, The More Fearsome The Legends. He Suffered,
None The Less. This Was Why He Seldom Entered The Premises Of The Alpha
And Omega Club Where, Quite Apart From His Objection To Parker's Poison
And The Loose And Rowdy Talk Of The Place, He Was Liable To Encounter
The Lady's Stepbrother. Of Course He Knew Perfectly Well What He Ought
To Have Done. He Ought To Have Imitated The Example Of Other People Who
Behaved Like Scoundrels And Openly Gloried In It. That Was The Only Way
To Be Even With Her; It Took The Wind Out Of Her Sails. Keith Often Put
The Matter Into A Nutshell:
"The Practical Advantages Of Doing Something Outrageous Must Be Clear
To You. It Is The Only Way Of Stopping Her Mouth, Unless You Like To
Have Her Poisoned, Which Might Be Rather Expensive Even Down Here,
Though You May Be Sure I Would Do My Best To Smooth Things Over With
Malipizzo. But I Am Afraid You Don't Realize The Advantages Of
Ruffianism As A Mode Of Art, And A Mode Of Life. Only Think: A Thousand
Wrongs To Every Right! What An Opening For A Man Of Talent, Especially
In A Country Like This, Where Frank And Independent Action Still Counts
Its Admirers. You Have Done Nothing, Of Late, Worthy To Be Recorded In
The Chronique Scandaleuse Of Nepenthe. Twelve Years Ago, Wasn't It,
That Little Affair Of Yours? Time Is Slipping By, And Here You Muddle
Along With Your Old Perrelli, In A Fog Of Moral Stagnation. It Is Not
Fair To The Rest Of Us. We All Contribute Our Mites To The Gaiety Of
Nations. Bethink Yourself. Bestir Yourself. Man! Do Something To Show
Us You Are Alive."
To Such Speeches Mr. Eames Would Listen With A Smile Of Amused
Indignation. He Was Incapable Of Living Up To The Ideals Of A Man Like
Keith Whose Sympathy With Every Form Of Wrong-Doing Would Have Rendered
Him Positively Unfit For Decent Society But For His Flagrant Good
Nature And Good Luncheons. He Suffered In Silence.
He Had Good Reason For Suffering. That "Little Affair" Of Twelve Years
Ago Was A Ghost Which Refused To Be Laid. Every One On The Island Knew
The Story; It Was Handed Down From One Batch Of Visitors To The Next.
He Knew That Whenever His Name Was Mentioned This Unique Indiscretion
Of His, This Toothsome Morsel, Would Likewise Be Dished Up. It Would
Never Grow Stale, Though Atoned For By Twelve Years Of Exemplary
Conduct. He Felt Guilty. There Was A Skeleton In His Cupboard. He
Realized What People Were Saying.
"Know Eames? Oh, Yes. That Quiet Man, Who Writes. One Can't Swallow
Half Those Yarns About Him; Quite Impossible To Believe, Of Course. She
Overdoes Things, The Good Woman. All The Same, There's No Smoke Without
Fire. You Know What Actually Did Happen, Don't You? Well; One Really
Doesn't Quite Know What To Make Of A Fellow Like That, Does One?"
What Had Happened?
The Bibliographer Had Fallen In Love, After The Fashion Of A
Pure-Minded, Gallant Gentleman. It Was His First And Only Experience Of
This Kind--An All-Consuming Passion Which Did Much Credit To His Heart
But Little To His Head. So Deeply Were His Feelings Involved That
During Those Brief Months Of Infatuation He Neglected, He Despised, He
Derided His Idol Perrelli. He Put On A New Character. While The Dust
Was Accumulating On Those Piles Of Footnotes, Mr. Eames Astonished
People By Becoming A Society Man. It Was A Transfiguration. He Appeared
In Fancy Ties And Spats, Fluttered About At Boating Parties And
Picnics, Dined At Restaurants, Perpetrated One Or Two Classic Jokes
About The Sirocco. Nepenthe Opened Its Eyes Wide Till The Truth Was
Made Manifest. After That, Everybody Said He Might Have Discovered A
Worthier Object For His Affection Than The "Balloon Captif."
She Was A Native Of The Mainland To Whose Credit It Must Be Said That
She Did Not Pretend To Be Anything But What She Was--An Exuberant,
Gluttonous Dame, With Volcanic Eyes, Heavy Golden Bracelets, The
Soupcon Of A Moustache, And Arms As Thick As Other People's Thighs; An
Altogether Impossible Person. Nobody But A Man Of Genuine Refinement,
Scrupulous Rectitude, Delicate Sense Of Honour And Kindly Disposition
Would Have Risked Being Seen In The Same Street With Such A Horror;
Nobody But A Real Gentleman Could Have Fallen In Love With Her. Mr.
Eames Ran After Her Like A Dog. He Made A Perfect Ass Of Himself,
Heedless Of What Anybody Though Or Said Of Him. The Men Declared He Was
Going Mad--Breaking Up--Sickening For An Attack Of G.P. "Miracles Will
Never Cease," Charitably Observed The Duchess. Alone Of All His Lady
Acquaintances, Madame Steynlin Liked Him All The Better For This
Gaucherie. She Was A True Woman-Friend Of All Lovers; She Knew The
Human Heart And Its Queer Little Vagaries. She Received The Couple With
Open Arms And Entertained Them Royally, After Her Manner; Gave Them A
Kind Of Social Status. Under This Friendly Treatment Mr. Eames Grew
Thinner From Day To Day; He Was Visibly Losing Flesh. The Dame
Prospered. Piloted By The Love-Sick Bibliographer She Gradually Waddled
Her Way--It Was Uphill Work, For Both Of Them--Into The Uppermost Strata
Of Local Society Where, Owing To The Rarefied Atmosphere, Her Appetite,
To Say Nothing Of Her Person, Soon Gained Notoriety. She Was Known, In
Briefest Space Of Time, As "The Cormorant," As "Prime Streaky," As
"Jumbo," As "The Phenomenon" And, By Those Who Understood The French
Language, As The "Ballon Captif."
The "Ballon Captif." . . .
How Things Got About, On Nepenthe! Somehow Or Other, This Odious
Nickname Reached Her Lover's Ears. It Embittered His Existence To Such
An Extent That, Long After The Idyll Was Over, He Had Serious Thoughts
Of Leaving The Island And Would Doubtless Have Done So, But For His
Re-Kindled Enthusiasm For Monsignor Perrelli. So Sensitive Did He
Remain On This Point That The Mere Mention Of Balloons, Or Even
Aeroplanes, Would Make Him Wince And Feel Desirous Of Leaving The Room;
He Always Thought That People Introduced The Subject With Malicious
Purpose, In Order To Remind Him Of This Unforgettable Peccadillo, The
"Balloon Business," His One Lapse From Perfect Propriety. Mr. Keith,
Who Confessed To A Vein Of Coarseness In His Nature--Prided Himself Upon
It And, In Fact, Cultivated Insensitiveness As Other People Cultivate
Orchids, Pronouncing It To Be The Best Method Of Self-Protection In A
World Infested With Fools--Mr. Keith Sometimes Could Not Resist The
Temptation Of Raking Up The Ashes Surreptitiously, After An Elaborate,
Misleading Preamble. He Loved To Watch His Friend's Meekly Perplexed
Face On Such Occasions.
Heaven Knows How Long The Affair Might Have Lasted But For The Fact
That A Husband, Or Somebody, Unexpectedly Turned Up--A Husky Little Man
With A Cast In One Eye, Who Looked Uxorious To An Alarming Degree. He
Carried Her Off In The Nick Of Time To Save Mr. Eames From Social
Ostracism, Mental Dotage, And Financial Ruin. Her Mere Appearance Had
Made Him The Laughing-Stock Of The Place; Her Appetite Had Led Him Into
Outlays Altogether Incompatible With His Income, Chiefly In The Matter
Of Pastries, Macaroons, Fondants, Ices, Caramels, Chocolates, Jam
Tartlets And, Above All, Meringues, To Which She Was Fabulously
Destructive.
It Took Some Living Down, That Episode. He Feared People Would Talk Of
It To His Dying Day; He Knew They Would! He Wished Balloons Had Never
Been Invented. None The Less He Stuck It Out Bravely, Threw Himself
With Redoubled Zeal Into Monsignor Perrelli And, Incidentally, Became
More Of A Recluse Than Ever.
"It Has Been A Lesson," He Reflected. "Semper Aliquid Haerebit, I Am
Afraid. . . ."
Ernest Eames Was The Ideal Annotator. He Was Neither Inductive Nor
Deductive; He Had No Axe To Grind. His Talent Consisted In An Ant--Like
Hiving Faculty. He Was Acquisitive Of Information For A Set Purpose--To
Bring The Antiquities Up To Date. Whatever Failed To Fit In With This
Programme, However Novel, However Interesting--It Was Ruthlessly
Discarded. In This And Other Matters He Was The Reverse Of Keith, Who
Collected Information For Its Own Sake. Keith Was A Pertinacious And
Omnivorous Student; He Sought Knowledge Not For A Set Purpose But
Because Nothing Was Without Interest For Him. He Took All Learning To
His Province. He Read For The Pleasure Of Knowing What He Did Not Know
Before; His Mind Was Unusually Receptive Because, He Said, He Respected
The Laws Which Governed His Body. Facts Were His Prey. He Threw Himself
Into Them With A Kind Of Piratical Ardour; Took Them By The Throat,
Wallowed In Them, Worried Them Like A Terrier, And Finally Assimilated
Them. They Gave Him Food For What He Liked Best On Earth:
"Disinterested Thought." They "Formed A Rich Loam." He Had An
Encyclopaeic Turn Of Mind; His Head, As Somebody Once Remarked, Was A
Lumber-Room Of Useless Information. He Could Tell You How Many Public
Baths Exited In Geneva In Pre-Reformation Days, What Was The Colour Of
Mehemet Ali's Whiskers, Why The Manuscript Of Virgil's Friend Gallius
Had Not Been Handed Down To Posterity, And In What Year, And What
Month, The Decimal System Was Introduced Into Finland. Such Aimless
Incursions Into Knowledge Were A Puzzle To His Friends, But Not To
Himself. They Helped Him To Build Up A Harmonious Scheme Of Life--To
Round Himself Off.
He Had Lately Attacked, In Corsair Fashion, The Greek Philosophers And
Had Disembowelled Plato, Aristotle And
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