South Wind(Fiscle Part-3) - Norman Douglas (ebook e reader .TXT) 📗
- Author: Norman Douglas
Book online «South Wind(Fiscle Part-3) - Norman Douglas (ebook e reader .TXT) 📗». Author Norman Douglas
Often Their Lives, To Alleviating The Distress Of Others. However That
May Be, They Are Generalities. We Came To You About A Practical Matter,
And An Urgent One. We Want To Remove A Crying Scandal From The Island.
The Habits Of Miss Wilberforce, As I Think I Pointed Out, Are Shocking
To All Decent Folks. I Suppose You Won't Deny That?"
"I Remember Your Using Those Words. They Struck Me As Remarkable
Because, For My Own Part, I Have Not Yet Discovered Any Man, Woman, Or
Child Who Could Shock Me. Some Persons Make A Profession Of Being
Scandalized. I Am Profoundly Distrustful Of Them. It Is The Prerogative
Of Vulgarians To Be Shocked. If I Ever Felt Inclined To Blush, It Would
Not Be A The Crooked Behaviour Of Men, But At Their Crooked
Intellectual Processes. Whenever A So-Called Scandal Comes My Way, I
Thank God For The Opportunity Of Seeing Something New And Learning
Something To My Advantage."
"There Is Nothing Very New About The Scandalous Conduct Of Miss
Wilberforce, Save Her Unfortunate Habit Of Divesting Herself--"
"Please To Note That There Is A Good Deal Of Loose And Exaggerated Talk
Going On Here. But One Thing Is Quite Certain. These Exhibitions,
Supposing They Really Take Place, Have Never Been Known To Occur Until
After Midnight--With The Lamentable Exception Of Yesterday Afternoon,
When It Was Even Darker Than Midnight. If Your Decent Folks Are So
Squeamish, What Are They Doing In The Streets At That Unearthly Hour? I
Am Asleep Them, As They Ought To Be. This May Account For The Fact That
I Have Never Seen The Lady In A State Of Alcoholic Exhilaration. But If
I Had The Good Luck To Stumble Upon Her, I Would Certainly Not Be
Shocked."
"And What, May I Ask, Would You Do?"
"My Feelings Towards The Spectacle Would Depend Upon The Momentary
State Of My Mind. I Might, For Example, Be In A Frolicsome Elizabethan
Mood. In That Case I Would Appreciate The Humour Of The Situation. If
Only Half Of What I Hear Is True, She Must Be Extremely Funny At Such
Moments. I Would Probably Laugh Myself Into An Apoplexy. I Wish The
English Still Possessed A Shred Of The Old Sense Of Humour Which
Puritanism, And Dyspepsia, And Newspaper Reading, And Tea-Drinking Have
Nearly Extinguished. It Ought To Be Revived Afresh. Nothing Like A Good
Drunkard For That Purpose. As A Laughter-Provoking Device It Is Cheaper
And More Effective Than Any Pantomime Yet Invented; And None The Worse,
Surely, For Being A Little Old-Fashioned?"
"I Must Say, Mr. Keith, I Don't Think God Created Anybody To Be Laughed
At."
"Maybe He Didn't. But A Fellow Can't Help Laughing, All The Same. On
The Other Hand, I Might Be In That Interfering Humanitarian Mood Which
Is Liable To Beset Even The Wisest Of Us. I Would Then Be Tempted To
Lead Her Homeward Gently But Firmly, Simulating Intoxication, If I
Could Bring Myself To Do It--Pretending, You Understand, To Be In The
Same State As Herself, If I Could Manage It With Any Prospect Of
Success--In Order To Make Her Feel Thoroughly At Ease. I Should Not
Dream Of Ruffling Her State Of Mind By A Single Word F Reproach; The
Private Feelings And Self-Respect, Even Of A Drunkard, Should Never Be
Violated. Again, If I Were In My Ordinary Reflective Condition, I
Should Doubtless Stand Aside And Muse, As I Have Often Mused, Upon The
Folly Of Intemperance. Drunkenness--That Shameful Vice! How Many
Estimable Men And Women Have Succumbed To It; Men I Have Known, Women I
Have Loved And Even Respected! This Makes Me Think That We Ought To Be
Grateful To Have So Glaring An Example Of Insobriety Before Our Eyes.
We Ought To Regard Miss Wilberforce, If Your Account Of Her Be True, As
A Divine Warning. Warnings Are Not Sent For Nothing. And You
Gentlemen--You Propose To Hide Away This Heaven-Sent Warning In A
Sanatorium. That Strikes Me As Flying In The Face Of Providence."
"Our Project Would At Least Secure Her From The Risk Of Being Run Over
By Some Vehicle."
"Pray, Why Should The Dear Lady Not Choose To Be Run Over? Surely She
Can Please Herself? It Would Be An Appropriate Ending To A Brief And
Merry Career. It Would Be More Than This. We Spoke, Just Now, Of Her
Example As A Deterrent To Others. Well, This Example, So Far As We
Spectators Are Concerned, Would Lose Its Point And Pungency If She Died
As You Propose--A Half-Reclaimed Inebriate In Some Home. She Must Be Run
Over, Or Otherwise Violently Destroyed, If We Are To Have The Full
Benefit Of The Example. It Is Only Then That We Shall Be Able To Say To
Ourselves: Ah, We Always Thought It Was Risky To Drink Strong Waters,
But Now We Know."
"A Fatal Accident Of This Kind, Quite Apart From Other Considerations,
Would Involve Her Relatives In All Kinds Of Trouble With The Legal
Authorities Of This Country."
"I Am Glad You Mentioned The Legal Aspects Of The Case; I Had Nearly
Forgotten Them. They Are Most Important. In Electing To Be Crushed
Under A Vehicle She Acts On Her Own Initiative. What You Propose Is
Nothing Less Than A Curtailment Of Her Liberty Of Action. How Do You
Think The Local Authorities Would Envisage Such An Arbitrary Step? I
Imagine It May Cost You Dear To Arrogate To Yourselves A Power Which,
In This Country At Least, Is Vested In The Proper Authorities. You May
Well Find Yourselves In Collision With The Penal Code Of Italy Which
Has Been Framed, And Is Now Administered, By Men Of Uncommonly Wide
Views--Men Who Reverence Personal Freedom Above Gold And Rubies. I
Should Not Be Surprised If Our Magistrate In Nepenthe Were To Take, On
Legal Grounds, The Same View Of The Case As I Hold On Purely Moral
Ones, Namely, That Your Action Towards Miss Wilberforce Would Amount To
An Unwarranted Persecution. He Would Regard It, Very Likely, As The
Unjustifiable Incarceration Of A Perfectly Harmless Individual. Signor
Malipizzo, I May Say, Has Pronounced Views As To His Duties Towards
Society."
This Was Too Much For One Of The Respectable Members Of The Deputation.
He Asked:
"Are You Referring To That Blackguard, That Pestilential Hog, Who Calls
Himself A Judge?"
"Perhaps You Do Not Know Him As Well As I Do. I Wish You Knew Him
Better. I Wish You Knew Him As Well As I Do! He Is Worth Knowing. Let
Me Tell You Something About Him--Something New And Characteristic. Like
Many Natives, He Is Scrupulously Fair Minded And Honest. Now I Can Get
On, At A Pinch, Even With An Upright Man. That Is Because I Always Try
To Discover The Good Side Of My Fellow-Creatures. But Other People
Cannot. Accordingly, Being An Incorruptible Magistrate, He Is Liable To
Encounter Hostility Among A Certain Disreputable Section Of The
Populace. His Conscientious Methods Expose Him To The Accusation Of
Harsh Dealing. This Has Happened More Than Once. It Happened Only Two
Days Ago, When He Sentenced To Prison A Batch Of Russian Lunatics Who
Were Responsible, Among Other Damage, For The Death Of Three Innocent
School-Children. I Commend His Action. He Erred, If At All, On The Side
Of Leniency; For We Really Cannot Have A Pack Of Raving Wolves At Large
Here. It Is Different In Russia. You Can Go Mad There--Indeed That
Country, With Its Vast Plains And Trackless Forests, Seems To Have Been
Especially Created For The Purpose Of Running Amok. But This Island Is
Really Too Small; There Are So Many Glass Windows And Babies
About--Don't You Think So, Gentlemen?"
"Nepenthe Is Certainly A Small Place, Mr. Keith."
"Note, Now, How Differently He Treats Miss Wilberforce, Who Not Only
Never Killed Three School-Children But Has Never, To The Best Of My
Knowledge, Injured A Living Creature. I Am Informed On Good Authority
That, After Spending A Tumultuous Night In Gaol, She Has Already
Regained Her Liberty. And This, If I Am Not Mistaken, Is The Second Or
Third Occasion At Least On Which Our Judge Has Behaved In A Similar
Manner Towards Her. Once More I Commend His Action. Why Has Signor
Malipizzo Set The Lady Free? Because, Unlike A Modern Philanthropist,
He Is Aware Of The Wider Issues Involved; He Acts Not With The Severity
Of A Fanatic, But With The Understanding, The Tolerance, The Mellow
Sympathy Of A Man Of The World. I Said That Everyone On Nepenthe
Treated Miss Wilberforce As A Pariah. That Was A Mistake. I Ought To
Have Allowed For One Exception--Our Admirable Judge! It Strikes Me As
Significant That An Official Who Is Bound To Her By No Ties Of
Blood-Relationship Or Nationality And Who Enjoys, Moreover, A
Reputation--However Undeserved--For Harshness, Should Be The One Person
On Nepenthe To Stretch A Point In Her Favour; The One Person Who
Extends To Her The Hand Of Friendship, Whose Heart Goes Out In Sympathy
With Her Sad Case. Significant, And Not Altogether Creditable To Us,
Her Compatriots. Now Who, I Wonder, Is The Friend Of Man, The Modern
Prometheus; You Who Incarcerate Her, Or This Alien Lawyer Who Sets Her
Free? To Be Perfectly Frank, I Find Your Attitude Contrasts
Unfavourably With His Own. You Are The Rigorists, The Harsh Ones. He Is
The Humanitarian. Yes, Gentlemen! In My Humble Opinion There Is Not A
Shadow Of A Doubt About It. Signor Malipizzo Is The True
Philanthropist. . . ."
The Deputation, Wending To The Market-Place Rather Hurriedly In Order
To Take Their Places In The Funeral Cortege, Said To Themselves:
"We Ought To Have Waited."
Thinking It Over As They Marched Along, The Respectable Members Came To
The Conclusion That The Others, The Hopkins Section, Were Really To
Blame For The Discomfiture Of The Expedition. It Was They Who Had
Insisted With Specious Arguments Upon An Interview At This Unseasonable
Hour Of The Morning; As For Themselves, They Would Gladly Have Waited
For A More Suitable Occasion. In Undertones, Low But Venomous, They
Commented Upon The Undue Haste Of Mr. Hopkins And Its Probable Motives.
Later On They Understood Everything. Then They Called Him A Thief And A
Rogue, Loudly--But Not To His Face.
Which Shows Yet Again How Inadequately Causes And Effects Are
Appreciated Here On Earth. The Dubious Mr. Hopkins May Well Have Been
Moved By Mercenary Considerations. But This Fact Had Nothing To Do With
The Unsatisfactory Issue Of The Affair. In Other Words, Even As The
Saint, In The Matter Of That Volcanic Eruption, Had Previously Gotten
The Praise For What Was Not His Merit, So Now This Sinner Was Blamed
For What Was Not His Fault. Had The Sub-Committee Waited Till The Crack
Of Doom, It Would Have Made No Difference Whatever To The General Trend
Of Mr. Keith's Sententious Irrelevancies.
Perhaps, If They Had Caught Him In A Better Humour, He Might Have Had
The Decency To Invite Them To Luncheon After The Funeral.
Even This Was Problematical.
Chapter 27
The Funeral Was A Roaring Success. The Display Of Ecclesiastics And
Choristers Was Unusually Fine. Torquemada Had Seen To That Part Of The
Business. It Was His Duty Henceforward To Cherish The Bereaved
Representative Of Nicaragua--A Possible Convert, At His Hand, To The
True Faith. The Clubmen, Headed By The Excellent Mr. Richards, Wore
Their Gravest Faces. Furthermore, In View Of The Lady's Quasi-Official
Position, The Authorities Of The Island Were Present In Full Numbers;
The Militia, Too, Looked Superb In Their Picturesque Uniforms. And So
Large Was The Unofficial Attendance, So Deafening The Music, So
Brilliant The Sunshine, So Perfect The General Arrangements That Even
The Deceased, Captious As She Was, Could Hardly (Under Other
Circumstances) Have Avoided Expressing Her Approval Of The Performance.
There Was An Adequate Display Of Fictitious Grief Among Her Social
Equals. Madame Steynlin, In Particular, Carried It Off--To Outward
Appearances--With Remarkable Success. She Looked Really Quite Upset, And
Her Hat, As Usual, Attracted The Attention Of All The Ladies. Madame
Steynlin's Hats Were Proverbial. She Was Always Appearing In New Ones
Of The Most Costly Varieties. And Never, By Any Chance, Did They Accord
With Her Uncommon And Rather Ripe Style Of Beauty. Madame Steynlin Was
Too Romantic To Dress Well. She Trimmed Her Heart,
Comments (0)