How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (knowledgeable books to read TXT) 📗
- Author: Leil Lowndes
Book online «How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You by Leil Lowndes (knowledgeable books to read TXT) 📗». Author Leil Lowndes
Anthropologist Helen Fisher says it is basic animal instinct. Direct eye contact triggers "a primitive part of the human brain, calling forth one of two basic emotions—approach or retreat."16
Unrelenting eye contact creates a highly emotional state similar to fear. When you look directly and potently into someone's eyes, his or her body produces chemicals like phenylethylamine, or , PEA that jolts the sensation of being in love. Thus, making strong, almost threateningly intense eye contact with your Quarry is one of the first steps in making him or her fall in love with you.
People look lingeringly at sights they like and quickly avert their eyes from those they don't. We enjoy gazing for long, lazy hours into a cozy fire, yet our hands jerk up to shield our eyes from an atrocious movie scene. It's the same when looking at people. We gaze lovingly at our lovers, yet avert our eyes from unpleasant, ugly, or dull people. When someone bores us, the first part of our body to escape is our eyes.
I'm acutely aware of this phenomenon during my speeches. Whenever I drone on too long about a particular point, audience members bury their noses in their notes. Inspecting their manicures takes on prime importance. Some even nod off. When I get back on track, their eyes flutter up like butterflies returning to the sunshine after a rainstorm.
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Another, almost opposite, factor that blocks good eye contact is shyness. The more someone overwhelms us, the more we avoid his or her eyes. Very low-ranking employees often avert their gaze from the big boss. If we meet someone extraordinarily handsome, beautiful, or accomplished, we tend to do the same.
In my seminars, I strive to make eye contact with everyone in the audience. However, if there is an especially handsome man in the sea of faces, I often find myself avoiding his gaze. I look into the eyes of everybody but him. Then, realizing the folly of my ways, I force myself to look into the eyes of Very Attractive Male, andBLAM! My heart skips a beat. I sometimes lose my train of thought. I stutter.
Powerful stuff, this eye contact.
How Much Eye Contact Does It Take to
Imitate Love?
A British scientist determined that, on the average, when talking, people look at one another only 30 to 6o percent of the time. This is not enough to rev up the engines of love at first sight.
While he was still a graduate student at the University of Michigan, a prominent psychologist named
Journal of Research in Personality
Zick Rubin became fascinated with how to measure love. Later, at Harvard and Brandeis, the romantic young researcher produced the first psychometrically based scale to determine how much affection couples felt for each other. It became known asRubin's Scaleand, to this day, many social psychologists use it to determine people's feelings for each other.
In his study on the ''Measurement of Romantic Love," Zick Rubin found that people who were deeply in love gaze at each other much more when talking and are slower to look away when somebody intrudes in their world1.7 He confirmed this through a trick experiment. He asked dating couples a long series of questions so he could first rate the pairs on how much they loved each other. The couples, unaware of their rating,
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were then put in a waiting room and told, "The experimenter will be with you shortly to start the experiment." Unbeknownst to them, thatwasthe experiment. Hidden cameras recorded how much time the couples spent staring into each other's eyes.
The higher the couple had scored on the first test, the more time they spent looking at each other. The less love they felt for each other, the less time they made eye contact.
To give your Quarry the subliminal sense that the two of you araelreadyin love (a self-fulfilling prophecy), dramatically increase your eye contact while the two of you are chatting. Push it up to 75 percent of the time or more if you want to get thePEAgushing through his or her veins.
The extra seconds of eye contact speak silent volumes. To a woman, the volumes will read,
"Beautiful lady, I am intrigued by you. I am fascinated by what you are saying." A man might interpret the increased eye contact as, "I'm ravenous for you. I can't wait to tear your clothes off and have you make mad passionate love to me."
You must , however, look right into your Quarry's eyes if you want to excite those feelings of love at first sight. Not at his eyebrows, not at the bridge of her nose—look right into those baby blues, browns, grays, or greens. Pretend you're admiring the optic nerve behind the eyeballs.
Wisdom for the ages gleaned fromThe King and I is
"Whistle a happy tune, and you will be happy."
Likewise, give off signals of the two of you being in love, and your Quarry will feel sensations of love.
TECHNIQUE #3:
INTENSE GAZE
When conversing with your Quarry, exaggerate your eye contact. Search for his or her optic nerve. Lock eyes with your Quarry to give the aura
ofalreadybeing in love.
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There's more to it than just looking deeply into someone's eyes, however. You must make your own eyes warm and inviting. Staring into the frigid eyes of a dead fish does nothing to incite love.
How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes"
Bedroom eyes is not just a quality movie stars are blessed with. Neither Bette Davis nor Clark Gable had a patent on them. We all have that suggestive look buried deep in our evolutionary psyche.
Ethnologists have even named it thecopulatory gaze .
The copulatory gaze plays a big role in lovemaking.
For example, before having sex, pygmy
chimpanzees—which are about as close to human as an ape can get—spend several moments staring deeply into each other's eyes.
Sex without eye contact is difficult for some primates.
Several Finnish researchers introduced male and female baboons to each other. With blinder devices, they varied what part of the female's anatomy the male baboon got a gander at first. When the male's initial glimpse
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