Matchmaker Cat (A Romantic Comedy Short Story) by Elizabeth Kyne (ap literature book list .TXT) 📗

childhood asthma. I hadn't had anepisode for years and I wasn't going to be flawed by it as anadult. I willed my breathing to slow.

I told myselfhe wasn't going to attack me because it was just a joke. Some maleescort Sheila had booked while we were at the pub and given myspare key to during one of her many supposed trips to thetoilet.

‘Look,’ I said,gathering myself together. ‘I know you've gone to a lot of trouble,and you're really impressive, but I haven't got time for this now.You can tell Sheila you got me and we can have a laugh about itdown the pub another time. But right now, I'm tired and I need somesleep because I'm starting a new job tomorrow. So, if you don'tmind, I'm going to go to bed now and you're going to leave.’

I left thesanctity of the doorframe and placed the lamp back on the phonetable, keeping my eye on him all the time. Without my weapon, I waseven more vulnerable, but he didn't make a move. If he'd been aburglar or a rapist, he would have taken his opportunity there andthen. With relief, I knew at that moment, he was part of apractical joke. The man - whoever he really was - was a damn goodactor, and that's all.

With addedconfidence, I walked right by him like I owned the place.

Damn it - I didown the place. Minus a £100,000 debt to the bank.

I caught awhiff of his cologne as I went past, mixed with his manlyscent.

Tasty.

If I hadn'tneeded a decent night's sleep, I might've taken advantage of thepractical joker to see how far he was prepared to take his littleact. I kept on walking, through to the kitchen, where I ran myselfa cool refreshing glass of water. When I returned moments later, Ifound him gone. Thank goodness. Boy was I going to have words withSheila when I next saw her.

In some ways,though, it was too bad. It was about time I gave my libido aworkout. But - hey! - easy come, easy go.

I went upstairsto bed.

TWO

Of all thethings in the world that should never have been invented, alarmclocks top the list.

With theexception, possibly, of nuclear weapons.

Andterrorism.

Andantibiotic-resistant bacteria.

Okay, so nottop. But if there were a list of all the bad things in the world,then alarm clocks would definitely be on it.

My alarm clockbleeped at me with an incessant electronic trill. It woke me up -which was what I wanted - but it didn't do it very nicely.

I whacked thesnooze button. My sleepy hand knocked the thing onto the floor, thebattery sprung out of the back compartment and the digital displaywinked out of existence.

Arse.

It had to be7am. That's the time I set it for. I sat up and felt that groggyfeeling which meant going out on Sunday night had been a badidea.

Beside me, Iheard a low gravelly moan.

I swivelled. Inthe bed next to me was a naked man.

I yelped andscrambled out of bed.

Two blue eyespeeked out from under a matt of black hair. ‘Would you like me tomake you breakfast before work?’

It was theDarren-man!

I stood. Istared. Transfixed. Confused.

Until Irealised I was naked too. My hands flew to my breasts.

Leaving meexposed down below. I clasped one arm over both nipples and put theother hand over my bush.

‘Rachel, what'sup?’ said the man.

‘You... you...’I stuttered. ‘You left!’

His foreheadwrinkled in a confused expression. ‘You said you were going to bed,so I came up first and brushed my teeth. You were sound asleep bythe time I got in.’

‘What?!’I grabbed a pillow to cover my modesty. Mind whirling. Halfwondering if I was dreaming, half remembering what had happened thenight before; half thinking someone had spiked my drink.

‘I tell youwhat,’ he said. ‘I'll go squeeze you some fresh orange juice.You'll feel better after that.’ He threw the duvet off himself andgot out of bed with his man bits dangling between his tonedthighs.

I cowered bythe bedside table, clutching the pillow to my nakedness and watchedhis pert bottom saunter out of the bedroom.

Fuck.

(to becontinued…)

*

To find out whathappens next, seek out If Wishes Were Husbands by ElizabethKyne

at your favouriteonline store as an ebook (ISBN: 978-1-908340-02-3)

or paperback (ISBN:978-1-908340-01-6)

www.elizabethkyne.co.uk

www.ellybooks.co.uk