Lockey vs. the Apocalypse by Meadows, Carl (love novels in english .TXT) 📗

To be honest, I’m glad of it. There were times I thought if I shoved a piece of coal up his ass, he’d shit a diamond the day after; that’s how bloody uptight he seemed.

Let me give you an example of his more relaxed manner from one of our most recent forays (another great word, I’m fucking schooling you today) beyond the gate.

Norah told us of a little garden supplies store she liked to use back before the world died, which was a tiny little unit on a small, rural business park out of the way. It was one of those shops that had an online presence but survived mostly by its loyal customer base. There were ten units on the business park, all of them shuttered from the day the world shat the bed, including a plumber’s merchant, some computer repair place (handy if Isaac needs parts so that one was noted), an electronics wholesaler, and stuff like that. This little park was out of the way from main population centres, so it was relatively quiet. There were no businesses here that any looters would really target when shit hit the proverbial fan, so it was untouched.

We rolled up in the pickup, which has become our vehicle of choice for our sorties (they just keep on coming, don’t they?) and found the store Norah pointed us to in one corner. There were five units on each side, one road in and out of the little car park in the centre of the shop fronts, and plenty of open space, so if anyone—or anything——came wandering into our AO, we’d get to see them nice and early to react.

Yeah, that’s right. I said “AO.” Area of operation. Check me out and my military acronyms. I went pro. I almost sound like I know what I’m on about.

Almost.

Once again, the halligan sold me on its diversity and worth, as we popped the locks off the shutter and rolled it up, then cracked open the front door. Honestly, these things have endless amounts of use. Halligans; the choice of apocalypse tool for all professionals.

We quickly and efficiently cleared the building, making sure we weren’t going to get surprised by any lurking undead, and then started going through Norah’s extensive list. Pots, compost, seeds, tools, pesticides; all the stuff she needed to both extend and maintain the herb and vegetable garden at the lodge. It was really easy going, so Nate and I shot the shit for a while as I confounded him with more pop culture references that went above his head, and he told me what an annoying little dickhead I was, though his tone was noticeably affectionate when he said those things. The kind of tone you use when you’re ripping on your bestie and you call them a bell end.

It was nice.

It was an easy couple of hours work getting everything that Norah wanted, and we managed to cross absolutely everything off the list she gave us, which was a massive win. There was plenty of gear left in the store as well, so it was a great resource for us to come back to in the future if we needed, and it was definitely worth coming back just to check out the other units to see if there were any useful resources for the future. I’m pretty sure Mark would have some fun shopping in the hardware stores, and the computer repair place could be super useful for our resident nerd Isaac. I’m also of a mind to get a big ass TV or two, and a games console with some games. Be nice for us all to chill and have a movie night, and for me to destroy everyone at Mario Kart. They might be good group bonding sessions. Also, even though Charlie does great being the only kid in a lodge full of adults, it might be nice for him to have an Xbox or something to keep him busy when his dad’s working.

Saying that though, Mark is awesome with that boy and lets him come along, helping him by passing tools and learning as he goes. Mark’s skills will need passing on in this new world, but honestly, he brings his kid along because he just likes hanging out with his boy. He really is a great dad, emphasising just how much of a deadbeat asshole my own was. Mark’s a shining example of fatherhood, and his boy is a total credit to him. They’re both awesome.

Anyway, we’d just loaded the last of the gear into the pickup. Nate was pulling the shutter down to prevent any accidental undead intrusion while we were away, and I noticed movement at the car park entrance.

There are some clusters of residential housing near the business park, and there were about ten undead shambling towards the entrance of the car park. I can only assume they heard the echoing bang of us crunching open the shutter and front door, subsequently shuffling this way from wherever they had been loitering.

Basically, they were in our way.

“They’re in our way,” said Nate, appearing next to me.

“We could easily drive round them once they get closer,” I offered.

Nate shook his head. “We’re leaving now anyway. Let’s use this opportunity for you to work on your distance shooting. Get your rifle.”

Well, I was like a kid in a sweet shop. When we’re out, bullets are the last resort if things go to shit. We try to keep quiet if we only get a handful of undead, so we don’t draw more in. We’ll clear buildings with handguns for pure safety, but any like this in the open we’ll just brain with halligans when we have space to move.

Nate giving me the green light for live shooting practice wasn’t an opportunity I was going to pass up. I’ve mentioned I’m good with the rifle close in, but I go a bit wonky at distance, so this