Radley's Labyrinth for Horny Monsters by Annabelle Hawthorne (parable of the sower read online txt) 📗

was now twenty feet above him, shaking her fists as he disappeared through a set of double doors. He spotted Ratu through an open door, but she was sideways, trying to fit between a pair of lockers. Baba Yaga came close to nabbing him when he opened a door that she was on the other side of, but he was able to climb the stairs behind him faster than she could. Another time, he spotted her below him, and he dropped a trash can on her. It arced through the air, gravity shifting, before colliding with the witch and knocking her down. Mike was getting the hang of this place but still had no idea where the fuck he was going.

Descending a set of stairs that terminated over open air, he realized that he was looking down at the exit. The door was thirty feet straight down from him, and Ratu was almost there.

Baba Yaga dropped down in front of Ratu, nearly crushing her. Ratu screamed, falling backward onto the ground, and the witch grabbed her by the front of her dress, her huge hands nearly encircling the struggling girl.

Baba Yaga sniffed Ratu, a toothy grin spreading across her face. Opening her mouth wide, she lifted Ratu into her maw, the naga’s head easily fitting between her teeth.

Ratu screamed.

There was no time for thought, only action. Mike jumped off the stairs, arms across his chest and feet down, his body a human missile. His stomach jumped into his throat, and the distorted gravity of the room fought over which direction to take him. His fall provided plenty of velocity, and he collided solidly with Baba Yaga, knocking her and Ratu onto the hard wood of the gym floor. They slid across the floor together, the witch’s hands grasping for purchase.

“Go!” he cried. “Get out!”

Ratu stood up on wobbly legs. Baba Yaga was only a few feet away, struggling to get her metal leg under her. Ratu grabbed onto his wrist, her legs pumping hard to pull him toward the exit. Mike’s whole body was numb from the collision, and all he could do was watch the witch rise and the naga strain, wondering who would be faster.

“I’ll use your eyes in soup,” Baba Yaga mumbled, shuffling toward them. Mike’s legs twitched, and he started pushing against the floor with his heels, allowing Ratu to pull him even faster.

“I will tan you and use your skin as a blanket. I will make sausage out of your guts.”

His eyes stuck on the witch, Mike heard the clicking of the gym door’s bar behind him. Focusing all his attention on his arm that Ratu wasn’t pulling, he lifted his hand and flipped Baba Yaga the bird.

Freezing-cold air flooded the room when the gym door opened. The witch covered her face against the blast, and Ratu pulled Mike through. The world distorted all around him, and they both tumbled through space.

Mike blinked. It was dark again—or had he actually gone blind this time? He tried to snap his fingers, but he had something lodged in between them. “Ratu?”

A little ball of fire burst into existence in front of him, slowly expanding to light the room. They were inside the ice cavern, and Mike was holding the silver tongs. They had melted almost to his fingers. Surveying the room, there was no trace of the box or the dangerous artifact within it.

“Did…did we win?”

“Yes.” Ratu lay on the other side of the chamber, her body limp against the wall. “We escaped. You grabbed the artifact and held it in the candle’s flame, and it was consumed, blasting us apart.”

“I don’t remember any of that.”

“And you might not. Even through the goggles, viewing a part of an Ancient One is dangerous.” Ratu closed her eyes. “We have been unconscious for some time. The tunnel has collapsed. I think I hear the others coming for us, but they will have to follow the path we made.”

“Are we going to run out of air?” Mike asked. He hugged himself.

“No. I can feel a cool breeze through here.” Ratu sighed. “But I am afraid that we will freeze.”

Mike nodded, his teeth beginning to chatter. “Can’t you make us some fire?”

“I am exhausted. This ball above us is all I can manage.”

“Why are you so exhausted? Is it because of the fight with Baba Yaga?”

“No. It’s because I’m a snake.” Ratu smiled weakly. “I am cold-blooded. We have been here so long that my temperature has dropped, and we are surrounded by millions of pounds of ice.” She waved her hand, the ball of fire drifting toward Mike. “It isn’t enough to keep me warm, but it might help you last until the others come. It will keep burning for a while.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Mike stood, his legs wobbling. “I did not just rescue you from Baba Yaga to have you die of hypothermia.”

“There’s nothing you can do.”

“There are three things I learned as a Boy Scout that will always stick with me.” Mike wobbled across the chamber. “The first is to spread out your arms and legs in case of quicksand. The second is to cut away from yourself when using a pocket knife.” He sat down next to Ratu, wrapping an arm around her. “The third is that you can beat hypothermia with skin-to-skin contact.”

“It’s not that simple. I don’t generate any heat. Your body isn’t warm enough for both of us.”

“It’s worth trying.” Mike pulled off his shirt.

Ratu smiled weakly. “I didn’t think you had those in the real world too,” she said, looking at his scars.

“Some wounds are spiritual and physical.” Mike pulled off his pants. “I think we can use our clothes like blankets to keep warm.”

“You certainly aren’t shy.” She fiddled with the ties on her clothes. “You don’t find it odd to be undressed like this in front of me?”

“Please. I’ve known you since we were kids.” This elicited a laugh from Ratu. “Here, let me help you.”

“It’s so cold…” Ratu’s lips