The Belle and the Beard by Kate Canterbary (carter reed TXT) 📗

morning." She stopped at the right page and glimpsed at me before reading, "I want to have friends who are unrelated to my job. I want to surround myself with people who care about me and don't measure my value by the access or information I can grant them. I want a job that means something to me but not one that means everything. I want to wear clothes I find comfortable, not those that function as armor or intimidation. I want to get some hobbies and I don't care if I'm very bad at them." She glanced up from the book. "While I am very bad at baking and home renovation, I don't think either of them qualify as hobbies I want to continue."

"That's understandable." I bobbed my head as a smile pulled up one corner of my mouth. "Anything else?"

She nodded, saying, "I want a community of my own, a place that's mine because I choose it, not because I'm stuck with it. I want to let myself rely on people, even when that's scary. I want a home that people want to visit because it's so happy and welcoming. I want to belong somewhere and to someone. I want to start a family and have a baby or two, and I don't want to wait until everything is perfectly right to do it. I've waited so long and I don't think I can wait anymore. Actually, no. I can't wait. I know that."

I stepped into the room, edged the banana box of shoes aside as I went. "You're not going to California."

She gave a slow shake of her head. "Another day, I'll explain all the ways in which you were right about the job and how wrong it was for me."

"If we're tabling that discussion for another day, does that mean you're staying here? That you're choosing this place?"

Jasper studied her notebook for a moment, her fingers drumming against the back cover. "You didn't ask me to stay, Linden."

"Because I couldn't ask you to do that for me. If you didn't go out there and see about that job for yourself, you would've regretted it. You would've wondered whether it was what you need and—fuck, Jas, I had to do it. I had to let you go, even if it killed me."

She tossed the notebook to the bed. "You can't make those decisions for me. You can't decide you're going to withhold information from me and hope for the best. It's not fair to anyone. And what if I went out there and decided to take the job, even if I hated it? What would happen then, Lin? What would you do?"

"I'd live with it."

"And that way we'd both get to be miserable? Just because you didn't want to say the wrong thing to me? Is that really the solution you went with?"

I folded my arms over my chest. "I didn't say it was a good solution, just that it was better than trapping you here."

"It wouldn't be a trap if you were up-front with me. Do you have any clue how much I needed to hear you ask me to stay?"

"Obviously not. Okay? I didn't know. I thought I was protecting you."

She blew out a breath, rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "If you stopped acting like you have to protect everyone from the things you want, you could be honest instead."

"You want honest?" I took another step toward her. Any closer and we'd be right up on each other. "Okay, babe. I'll give you honest. I am in love with you. All right? I fucking love you and it physically hurt when you left and I really hope—"

She reached out, twisted her hands in my shirt, and yanked me to her chest, sealing her lips over mine before I could get another word in. It took a stunned second for me to process this before I could react, before I could respond.

"Jasper," I whispered against her lips.

"I love you too," she said. "I love you and I want to be with you, even if I have no idea what comes next."

I closed my arms around her torso, held her tight to me. "You just told me what comes next."

She inched her hands up my chest and over my shoulders until she could rake her fingers through my beard. "Only if you want the same things."

I was ready to scoop her up and get the hell out of here. Take her home, take her to bed. The dark smudges under her eyes told me she'd slept about as well as I had these past few days and I needed to fix that.

"I'll tell you what happens now," I said, pivoting her in my arms and steering her toward the door. "I'm taking you home. That's what it is, Jas, it's home to you. What you decide to do with this place is entirely secondary and that choice is not going to occupy space in your mind anymore. Keep it, sell it—doesn't matter because we live next door and you don't need to worry about finances."

"I don't like the idea of relying on someone in that way," she said. "My entire life has been a series of rebellions against that sort of thing."

"Believe me, I've noticed and I understand. But I don't worry about money and I won't, especially now that I've agreed to partner with Magnolia and—"

"You did? What? When did that happen?"

"A few days ago—no, wait—it was yesterday. Jesus, this week has been a fucking blur." When we reached the entryway, I picked up her bag and motioned to her shoes. "Yesterday afternoon, right before she went into labor."

Jasper pressed her palms to her cheeks. "Oh my god! The babies—they're here?"

"They arrived last night. The first weighed in at five pounds even, the second at a little over four and a half. Magnolia is doing well but don't ask her about names because they haven't decided yet."

"Oh my god," she whispered, her hands still on