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odd. So many people have gone. The Janssons on the corner left last week, and just yesterday your old classmate Vera told Mother that she and her family are also going to try their luck elsewhere.

Fatherā€™s so quiet nowadays. And Motherā€™s so busy she hardly seems to have time for us. She asks me to do everything instead. Itā€™s driving me mad! As though nothing I might have to do could possibly be important. And if I tell her Iā€™m busy, she just gives me that stareā€”you know the one I meanā€”and tells me that nothing is more important than helping our neighbors and fellow citizens. I hate it when she says that!

Today she asked me to take food over to Gitta. When I asked why she couldnā€™t do it herself, she said that she and the school nurse were going to pay a visit to some sick old lady to hold her hand. I told her that the nurse was probably capable of doing that by herself, and that I actually had my own things to do. She asked what they were, and when I said that Lena and I had made plans to go to the river, she said that both Lena and the river would still be there after Iā€™d been to Gittaā€™s. I didnā€™t know how to explain to her that Lena might not wait for me if I wasnā€™t there when I said I would be. Obviously we werenā€™t only going down to look at the water; itā€™s where Veraā€™s brother Emil and his friends go to smoke, and Lenaā€™s taken a bit of a fancy to him. But I could never say that to Mother! So instead I said that I had promised Lena, and Motherā€™s always telling us how important it is to keep our promises, but clearly that wasnā€™t the right thing to say, either, because then Mother puffed herself up and asked if I thought my promise to Lena trumped the promise she had made to Birgittaā€™s dying mother to always look after her daughter, and then I felt so rotten and small that I didnā€™t dare say anything. But I was seething all the way out to Birgittaā€™s hut, thinking of all of the things I should have said.

It would be better if you were here, Margareta. I even used to enjoy going out to Birgittaā€™s when we did it together. I think she liked you more than she likes me. Remember that humming noise sheā€™d make whenever she opened the door to find you there on the doorstep? She never does that with me.

I know you and Mother have said she wonā€™t get angry as long as I follow her rules, but I have to say, I donā€™t like being there alone. As soon as I see her hut, my heart starts to patter like a birdā€™s, and my mouth goes dry. Mother says the only reason Birgitta got so angry at me that time is because I opened the door and stepped in without knockingā€”Birgittaā€™s more afraid of me than I am of her, she says. But Birgittaā€™s tall as a man and built like a bear! It took weeks for my scratch marks to heal that time. Part of me thought Iā€™d be stuck with them forever.

Oh, now Iā€™m sounding like I donā€™t feel sorry for Birgitta, and you know that I do! Iā€™m happy to report that she was looking well today. She had trailed some mud inside from her walk in the forest, and I wondered if I should clean it up, but I was afraid of getting her back up. Besides, Mother hadnā€™t told me to cleanā€”she probably thinks Iā€™m too careless and would rather do it herself. Anyway, thatā€™s besides the point: Birgitta had some color in her cheeks, and she really devoured her chicken and gingerbread. She even did those funny hand movements that you say mean sheā€™s happy.

Itā€™s just ā€¦ oh, Margareta, itā€™s not just the scratch marks. I was afraid of Gitta even before then. Sheā€™s just so big, and she moves so strangely, and the way her hair dangles down over her face makes her look like a forest troll from those fairy tales Grandmother used to tell us. Perhaps thatā€™s a terrible thing to say, but itā€™s the truth. She even smells of the forest. Iā€™ve told Mother we should cut her hair and get her some new clothesā€”anything but those threadbare rags she goes around in every day. Perhaps then the other villagers wouldnā€™t find her so strange. And then she could live in a real house, and we wouldnā€™t have to look after her all the time.

But Mother says itā€™s not as simple as that. Sometimes I think she likes having Birgitta to take care of. Itā€™s not like Birgitta can ever answer back or get on Motherā€™s nerves like I do, seeing as she canā€™t talk.

Oh well. It did go okay today, and Lena wasnā€™t too angry with me when I eventually got home. She even let me borrow some lipstick before we went to the river. I felt very stylish. Perhaps I can buy one just like it when I come down to visit you and Nils? What do you think?

Write soon!

Your sister, Aina

 NOW

My sleeping bag rustles as I twist and roll over onto my other side. The tent is big and fairly spacious, but itā€™s hardly a hotel room: itā€™s cold and basic, and smells of a mix of plastic and something slightly nauseating that I canā€™t put my finger on.

Still, itā€™s better than sleeping on the back seat of a Volvo, like Max. It was his choice, but Iā€™m sure heā€™s going to spend our entire trip with a stiff neck and the makings of a bad back. Emmy and Robert didnā€™t bring a tent, either, but Emmy said theyā€™re used to sleeping in vans. Maybe it is the done thing, but Iā€™m glad I get to pass. Something about cargo compartments makes

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