Courts and Cabals 2 by G.S. D'Moore (warren buffett book recommendations TXT) 📗

was also where a lot of guards stood at attention with some wicked-looking weapons. They stood shoulder-to-shoulder along the back wall, and they were interspersed among the crowd of freakazoid sycophants.

“Why are they all naked? Could they at least throw on some boxers?”

The guards back here were the males of Aveena’s species. They were smaller, a few shades lighter than navy blue, and still several feet taller than me. They were all built like professional body builders, and the large spear they carried wasn’t the only impressive rod on them. I was surrounded by Double XL shlongs that were enough to give a well-hung man an inferiority complex.

“One foot in front of the other,” I told myself, and kept my eyes front.

The closer we got to the throne, the less monstrous the Fae became. Sure, near the front there was still something that looked like a wasp had fucked a horse, and given it a woman’s face; but generally, they were more humanoid. The guards were also more pleasant to look at. At some point, they’d gone from male to female.

Up until a few moments ago, Aveena was the only giant I’d ever met; but I could say now, with perfect certainty, that she was the best her species had to offer. The males were all darker blue in color, while the females started at sky-blue and worked their way toward lighter shades. Aveena’s ice-blue was the lightest I’d seen, but that wasn’t what was so unique about it. It was her femineity. Her features were so much softer and prettier than every other female giant in the room. If I didn’t know better, I’d have assumed resting-bitch-face was the norm of the species. Maybe it was the bloodstained swords and shields they were holding, but everything about these people screamed barbarian at the gate.

“If these things came to earth, we wouldn’t stand a chance,” I thought, and that was before I got a good look at the queen bitch: the Lady of Winter herself.

“Holy Mary mother of Jesus in his gold, fleece diapers,” my jaw dropped and I stopped dead in my tracks.

The giant sat on a throne full of animal hides, made of creatures that looked like they could eat a horse in a single bite, and made me want to piss myself in terror. Even though I’d prepared myself as best I could for one of The Nine; it was the difference between reading about a black hole and staring into the abyss with my own two eyes.

I didn’t even register the regal-looking men flanking her; or that one looked happy and the other pissed. My full attention was on the woman in the leather bikini that was both a fashion statement, and covered her important bits in light armor. She held up her finger toward Aveena in the universal “wait a minute” gesture. I felt Aveena’s jaw tighten in irritation, but she stopped where she was and waited.

“Please, my lady,” something whimpered at the foot of the throne’s steps.

I pulled my eyes away from the barbarian queen to see a humanoid thing that looked like it was made of bark instead of flesh. It was on its knees with golden tears glistening down its cheeks. The marble-like floor, a vivid blue with black veins that seemed to pulse anxiously, actually had a hold on the creature. The poor bastard couldn’t run if it wanted to. The thing turned its head to look at me with eyes the size of dinner plates. They were way too big for its face, and gave it a puppy dog look.

Aveena’s mom didn’t care about that. Whatever the creature was begging for, it didn’t get it. With a swift, practiced motion, she hefted a giant axe from a holster on the side of the throne and cut the thing’s head off. Blood that looked like milk chocolate fountained out of the thing as it tried to topple, but the floor held it in place.

“You guys must have a killer cleaning bill,” my mouth had a mind of its own.

Godric laughed, and tried to turn it into a cough while I felt the heat of Aveena’s glare on the top of my head.

“What?” I looked up at her, which put me in underboob city. “If you’re just going around cutting people’s heads off, you’ve got to have . . .” I stopped as the floor released the headless creature.

It flopped to the ground, still spilling blood like a broken hydrant. The only problem was, the pool wasn’t growing. In fact, it was shrinking. A sickening, slurping sound echoed through the hall as the black veins pulsed blacker than night. The corpse gave a final shudder, and sank into the ground until there was nothing left to suggest an execution had just occurred.

“What is it with these people and places that suck up blood like a junkie vamp?” I wondered, as a shiver worked its way through me. It had nothing to do with the cold. I knew the Fae had a hard-on for blood, but this was next level.

“There goes my argument to spare my life to avoid the cleaning bill,” my mouth continued to dig my grave a little deeper.

“This is it?” the Lady of Winter replaced her axe and leaned back on the throne; sneering at me like I didn’t warrant to be the shit she tracked in on the bottom of her boots.

The way she said it rubbed me the wrong way. I wasn’t a perfect ten or anything, but I was a solid seven and a half; maybe an eight if a woman was wearing beer goggles. Half the time, I didn’t understand why gorgeous woman were throwing themselves at me, but I was by no means an it like some of the uggos surrounding the queen bitch.

“This is the thing that killed a knight of this