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scheme of things, how badly do you really want to achieve this goal and what are you prepared to give up to get it?

VISUAL AIDS

Once you’ve set your goal, it’s a good idea to create a visual reminder of what you’re working toward. Cut out a picture of the home you hope to own and stick it on your fridge. Or tape a small picture of a house to the back of your credit card so you remind yourself of what you’re delaying when you go shopping. Make a chart with all the steps. Buy a wall calendar and lay out what you’re going to do and why so you can see the plan. Get yourself a notebook and label it My Book of Goals, or open up a file on your computer to keep track of what you’re trying to achieve. Use charts, diagrams, and posters to help keep you on track. There are dozens of ways to incorporate goal setting into your life.

Once you know what you want, all that’s left is to execute your well-laid-out plan. So DO IT!

FIND FRIENDS FOR YOUR GOALS

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much we say we want something, stuff just keeps getting in the way. We decide we want to be debt-free. Yet we go out and charge up a storm, buying expensive stuff for our homes, our friends and family, ourselves, ignoring the fact that when the bill comes in, we won’t be able to pay it in full. If it’s such common sense to only spend what you can afford, why do so many people spend money they don’t have?

Think about it for a minute. Why did you whip out your credit card and pay for that meal in a restaurant, pair of new shoes, or groceries? Why did you buy that big-screen TV, that couch, that surround-sound system on a buy-now-pay-later program? Why did you use your line of credit to pay off your credit card? Be honest. Why?

Social pressure to conform isn’t in your imagination. It’s real. But if you submit, if you’re willing to live a life of smoke and mirrors, if you want it all right now, then you need to accept that you’re creating a miserable life for yourself. It’s only a matter of time before the piper comes a’knocking.

Peer pressure is something we associate with teenagers and their inability to distinguish between a sensible course of action and a dumb one. We know peer pressure can lead to bad decisions, and we want our kids to be able to think for themselves. But have you given any thought to how you may be affected by the peer pressure from your friends, particularly when it comes to how you spend your money?

If you’re a chick, I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts you’ve experienced something like this: you’re out shopping and see a lovely (fill in the blank). You stop and have a look. Your girlfriend says, “Nice!” You nod at each other. But you’re not sure. It isn’t really something you need, and you are trying to save for that vacation you’re planning with your best buddy. Hmm. What to do, what to do? She says, “It’s fabulous, and what a great price. You can’t pass it up.” You nod again. It is fabulous. And it is a great price. So out comes the credit card and into a shopping bag it goes. You’re now the proud owner, and she gives you a wee pat on the back. You’re a team!

Where was your goal? Where was your self-control? Oops!

One of the hardest things to deal with once you decide to live on a budget, change how you’re using your money, and modify your life is finding people who are friendly to your new goals. Some of them won’t mind a bit. Some will congratulate you. And some will think you’re nuts to pass up on today’s pleasures for something in which they have no stake or to which they cannot relate.

Peer pressure is a particularly hard issue to deal with when one person in a partnership is committed to meeting the goals set while the other is swayed by chums who love to have it all now.

Carlie and Doug are both hard-working parents of a young son, Mathew. Doug has been carefully managing his money since Moses was a lad, but Carlie has been more of a free spirit. She works as an interior designer so shopping is part of what she does for a living. Carlie has a difficult time separating “work” shopping from “home” shopping, and the debt is driving Doug bonkers. When Mathew came along, Carlie had a whole new reason to shop.

To make matters worse, Carlie hangs out with a couple of “rich chicks,” as Doug calls them. These girls earn considerably more than Carlie, can buy whatever they want, and love to travel. And they always ask their friend Carlie to go along with them. Carlie is resentful that she can’t do all the things her girlfriends are doing. She feels trapped. She wishes Doug earned more money. Doug is resentful that he goes without things so Carlie can have what she wants, and then she still bitches at him because he’s not bringing home more money.

They fight. They fight about Carlie’s shopping. They fight about how much stuff Mathew should have. And they fight about the next trip Carlie is planning with her posse.

Doug doesn’t want to tell Carlie that she’s going to have to find new friends because her old ones are bankrupting them. But that’s what’s happening. Carlie’s last trip is still on her credit card at 18.9%. And the gorgeous mirror she found when shopping for a client is hanging in the front hall but hasn’t been paid for either. And now Carlie wants to put Mathew into private school. When Doug asks her where the money is going to come from, she yells at him, accusing him of not wanting the best for his

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