Googol Boy and the peculiar incident of the Great Quiz Trophy by John Michael (good short books .TXT) 📗

“Harrumph!” snorted the groundskeeper as if he was trying to dislodge a furball from his throat.

Barney and I watched Red as he left in a huff, muttering to himself as he continued sprinkling the fertiliser from his hessian bag as he scuttled across the lawn and over the hill.

“Howard?”

“Yes Barney?

“What are doodackies and tarradiddles?”

Not that I had any idea about doodackies or tarradiddles but before I could even contemplate a response, a lone figure materialised in front of us in the form of a shadowy outline. Had Red come back to torment Barney a little more? The sun was behind the figure and a dark shadow hovered over us like a looming spectre.* Perhaps it wasn’t Red, maybe this was a lunch money shakedown – it would be one of the usual suspects: Lazy Lenny, Fergus the Fist or Marsden Post. My money was on Lenny; he had just been ridiculed in class and wanted to settle a few scores.

I looked up, expecting the worst, and was rather surprised... it was Savani Godfrey. She moved to one side with her arms akimbo, and it was then that I noticed that she had a band of followers behind her.

“Well, well, well!” uttered Savani.

To be honest, I was at a bit of a loss as to why Savani wanted to talk to us. Still, I would take her over Lenny, Fergus or Marsden any day of the week. Lenny had paid us a visit a few days ago and because we didn’t have any lunch money he gave us each a wedgie which left us waddling around like ducks.

Barney and I looked at each other. What could Savani possibly want? She was way too small to be a bully but there was something about the expression on her face... it was a cross between having eaten a bad egg sandwich and just having found out that you had fleas.

“If it isn’t Howard Sootfell in the flesh?”

“Yep... that’s my name, don’t wear it out.” I tried to sound cool but, judging from Savani’s reaction, it wasn’t working. Her dark eyes settled on me and she gave me an ice-cold stare, her short-cropped hair made her look like an angry raccoon. It was obvious that this wasn’t a social visit, we didn’t even move in the same circles. Actually, Barney and I didn’t even move in circles, it was more like a straight line − going to school and travelling back home. Come to think of it, this was the first time Savani had even talked to me. She was the School Dux, Chess Champion, Spelling Bee Winner, Band Leader, Fencing Titleholder, and to top it all off, she was also Captain of the Debating Team.

Barney intervened. “You’re Savani aren’t you?” The group behind her chuckled loudly, I had a feeling that their laughter had a mocking tone. I took a closer look at the gang and that’s when I noticed that it was Savani’s debating team.

She adjusted her oversized glasses and scrutinised me closely, as if she was examining an insect in a jar, she then looked at Barney, then back to me again.

“My goodness... it’s Tweedledee and Tweedledum!” Savani snickered and her gang of debaters followed suit and chuckled heartedly. “They probably think that calling them Tweedledee and Tweedledum is a compliment.”

At that very moment, the cogs in my brain started whirring again and before I knew it, my mouth was moving.

“Actually, Tweedledum and Tweedledee come from an old English nursery rhyme and these two portly brothers were later used in Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking-Glass where they are presented identical in speech, attitude, and appearance. These names are used in an unfriendly fashion to poke fun at others. And, as it happens, they are referred to as Tweedledum and Tweedledee in the poem, rather than the reverse order.”

For a moment or two Savani looked a tad perplexed but then annoyance took over. “How dare you patronise me? Do you NOT think that I am familiar with Tweedledee and Tweedledum, I mean Tweedledum and Tweedledee? Oh! I mean Alice in Wonderland!” She fumed as her face became flushed with anger.

I could see that this entire meeting was getting off to a bad start and I attempted to calm things down. “Now Savani, I didn’t mean to –”

“You? You didn’t mean to?”

“Huh? Now look –”

“No! You look!” she snapped. “Nobody outshines Savani... especially a nobody like you Sootfell!”

“Nobody!” echoed her gang of debaters.

“Outshines?” I queried, not having a clue as to what she was talking about.

At this stage, I could tell that she was getting even more irritated. Although small in stature, she was rather feisty and to further emphasise her annoyance, she poked me in the chest with her finger. “That’s right! Nobody!” she repeated.

“Let’s get out of here Howie,” whispered Barney with a slight quiver in his voice. “I don't like the look of these debaters.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” shouted Savani. For a small girl, she certainly had a loud voice.

“What’s this about?” I asked.

“What’s this about?” she scoffed in a condescending tone. “You, Mr Sootfell... cheated!” She then jabbed me in the chest again with her small bony finger.

“Cheated? How? When? What do you mean?”

“The Science speech... don’t play dumb with me Howard! Do you really think that you could outshine me and get away with it?”

“I... ah... well I didn’t mean to –”

“Silence! I bet your mum wrote that speech for you!”

“Huh? My mum? Um... no... she took away my Pacman and my cookies –”

“Stop talking gibberish Sootfell!”

“Let me explain, I started to write the speech and then there was this –”

“Save it for your funeral Howard! I shall be satisfied.”

Before I realised what was going on, Savani pulled out a black leather glove from her pocket and slapped my cheek with it. I was too dumbstruck to respond.

“As you know, the annual Great Quiz at the Founding Festival is on next week... you and me Howard. We shall see who will prevail!”

“The Great