Every Day Is a Poem by Jacqueline Suskin (manga ereader txt) 📗

immense, but mending is an ancient art.

Show yourself how you have mended before,

how your ancestors healed, how humans

always find a way to keep moving onward

even in the face of great struggle.

Write about your healing journey.

What does your heart look like today?

POETIC MINDSET TIP

YOUR PAIN IS A SEED FOR GROWTH

These writing practices carry over into our quiet moments, into the dismal and dulling places of pain that keep us awash in forgetfulness, lacking inspiration. There’s one thing to remember here, even when everything is too heavy for poetry: your pain is a seed for growth. From the worst ache comes the gift of newness. Heartbreak calls for mending, and then our form is forever altered. Instead of hardening around this change, we can embrace it, thankful for the wisdom that accompanies such transformation. In times of doubt, we can say, “My pain is a seed, my pain is a seed, newness is coming, newness is coming,” and we’ll never be wrong, no matter how long we take to root and flourish.

chapter 7

USE YOUR MEMORIES

. . . lover, loser, red rose and ragweed,

these are the tracks I have left

on the white crust of time.

—MARGE PIERCY

I only know how to define certain things about myself, about my identity and beliefs, because I’m aware of my past. With this awareness, I’ve discovered repetitions and patterns, as well as concepts that come up again and again, always bringing intrigue and inspiration. I know what excites me and what motivates me to ask questions and dig deeper. All of this helps me understand myself better.

KNOWING MYSELF HELPS ME

FIND HAPPINESS AND SUBJECT

MATTER FOR WRITING.

This is all connected to the idea that we’re formed by our childhoods. As base level and unimaginative as that may be, it’s hard to deny that everything eventually leads back to what was. In therapy, this is often what transpires. We walk the path of the past to discover what happened to us, what made us so fearful or so angry. What life laws did we learn and tie into our cores at a young age? Why did certain things happen to us? Can we uncover the cause and effect? Why do we behave the way we do now? Our current character is linked to various aspects of our past. Are these links things we’re aware of or not?

A lot of this work is positive. For example, why do I love pumpernickel bread? Because my grandmother covered it in thick pads of butter for me so many times when I was a kid. Why am I so drawn to farming and animal husbandry? Because my parents sent me to a farm camp, where I learned how to care for animals and grow vegetables. Why am I so quick to strike up deep conversation with people I hardly know? Because I watched my grandfather do this outside the grocery store every week.

Along with these sweet understandings are the harder aspects of the quest for self-knowledge through memory. I’ve figured these answers out in therapy and through writing poetry. I had some intense realizations as I discovered that I’d been operating from a place in the past, with information given to me by my parents, and that I no longer need to fall into these patterns. I can let that part go.

But if I hadn’t been willing to dig in to the past in the first place, I never would’ve been able to put two and two together in the present, thus affecting my future. I struggle deeply with believing that I’m loveable. As someone who is both awestruck and blessed with many loving relationships, it can get confusing for me to understand why I feel this way. But when I look back into my past, at my childhood especially, I can see clearly the source of this loveless belief. My mother expressed to me, many times and in many different ways, her lack of love for me. My father did the same. I’ve worked hard to heal from this early hurt, but wounds like this are long-lasting. These wounds will supply me with endless information and motivation for healing, and this information can be spun into poetry as I give myself power and ownership over my pain.

How does the past affect our current behavior? It might not feel good to go back and relive memories, but there’s usually some things we carry over into present relationships or in thought patterns that affect us here and now. If we don’t look at them, how can we decide what to let go of and what to keep? Do we have character traits that arise simply because of the past? If we look closer, can we release these things once we see they’re no longer of any use? Why do we act the way we do? The past can help us find reasons; it can show us our habits and remind us what the mind and body hold on to. The past can put up a red flag and signal all of the compulsions and ideas we need to shed or investigate more closely. This practice can be key to unlocking our transformation. It can guide us in our quest to piece together the complicated puzzle of the self, and this puzzle is a poem.

Why look into the past? Why see it as a map and make a record of our rambling timeline? Because the results fill us with the light of understanding. Now that I can see in my current state the shadow of my previous years, I can more rationally digest everything that makes me who I am. This is what I hope the practice will offer you; a method to help you clarify your background in a way that’s illuminating, in a way that fills you with empowering appreciation and overwhelming acceptance.

No Siblings

It’s not that