The Lying, the Witch, and the Werewolf (Down & Dirty Supernatural Cleaning Services Book 4) by Kate Quinn (uplifting books for women .txt) 📗

“Oh no,” Darron says. “More dead bodies?”

I shake my head. “I didn’t see any. But there’s blood.”

“Whose blood?” Darron asks.

“I’ll look,” Shauna shifts into her smaller pixie form, flashes her vampire fangs, and is outside in a flash of her cotton candy pink hair.

She’s back in thirty seconds. “No body or body parts, just the message.”

As far as VSK’s gifts go this one is the mildest one yet. But the fact that he was able to get so close yet again has me in a full-on panic.

“What does it say,” Darron asks.

“You’re mine Paige, and he used the wrong your and also didn’t put in a comma…” I babble.

“That monster!” Shauna gasps, busting back to her human size.

Darron shushes her. “Look, this is all old hat. We’ll call your cop friend and gather the evidence. I might as well apply to become a crime scene investigator at this point,” Darron quips.

I know they’re trying to snap me out of my shock, and it’s starting to work. “Oh no, I can’t go undercover,” I say. “I can’t leave you guys here alone with VSK active again. Especially not with Shauna being a vampire!”

“Um, hello,” Shauna says, finally pulling back from me. “I’m an ass-kicking name taking pixie vamp hybrid. The next time that shithead comes anywhere near here I’m gonna rip the skin off his dick and make it into a pair of gloves.”

“How big is his dick?” I ask despite myself and Darron barks out a laugh.

Shauna is still going. though. “Then I’m gonna put those dick-skin gloves on and punch him in the face until there’s just a crater left.” Looking to Darron, Shauna asks, “The gloves are a nice touch, right?”

“Beautiful,” Darron assures her and then to me explains, “I’ve been instructing Shauna on the importance of accessorizing.”

A hysterical little giggle bursts from my lips. “Of course you have.”

Darron and Shauna exchange looks of concern.

“You are definitely going to that cult today,” Shauna says.

“As terrible as it sounds, I also think you should go join that cult,” Darron agrees. “I’m less afraid of VSK than I am of you choosing to never leave the house again because some whack job did a number on your head.”

“Yep,” Shauna says, arms crossed. “Nobody tells Paige Harper what to do except Paige Harper. And also me, whenever I’m right about something.”

“Which is?” Darron inquires.

“All the time,” she says, then quickly adding, “except for last night, when I was a bitch to you. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” Darron says. “My date was not really into the whole girls who are boys who are girls thing. I think what I really needed was to get my feet wet again and now that I’ve done that, next time it will be easier. But in the meantime, I’m tempted to join the sex cult with you, Paige,” he finishes. “I mean, why the hell didn’t you leave yesterday?”

“Because Nico is my ride,” I admit, with one hand over my face.

“Wooooahhhh, hot werewolf chauffer taking you to the sex cult,” Shauna says, starting to wiggle her ass. She stops very suddenly, “Yeah, seriously? Why are you still here?”

“All right,” I say, climbing to my feet with Shit in my arms. “But I’m gonna check in every day.”

“Hells yes,” Darron says. “We’re gonna need all the dirty sex cult details. It’s not like anyone here is getting any.”

“Actually, won’t be able to talk every day,” Shauna tells us. “They don’t allow cell phones or electronic devices. They might have a landline? People definitely say that they have talked to members on the phone. My research was iffy on the protocol and donuts to dollars that line is bugged. Which reminds me, the cult forbids any “mutilation of the sexual organs” of Dalmanthers. So Shit here might even get lucky and spawn a litter of little Shits. What do you think, boy? Wanna get laid?”

Shit woofs in response, and something falls out of his mouth, landing on the floor between my feet with a wet smack.

“Oh crap,” I say. “I just remembered—Shit was freaking out last night, he must’ve known VSK was here.”

“Finally we found a use for that beast,” Darron quips. “He must’ve scared VSK into dropping...whatever that thing is?”

Shauna blinks and leans in closer. “Is that the dick-skin glove?”

“No, Shauna, that’s not a thing.” I inch closer. “Can we please stop talking about dicks for five seconds?” I kick the object gingerly. “But it is a glove.” I hold up my hand to Shauna before she can ask again if it’s dick-skin. “It’s one of those driving gloves.”

And it’s covered in brown-red stains.

“Guys,” I say, “I think VSK finally screwed up.”

7

Once I realize I have actual, tangible evidence that might help catch VSK, I immediately call McGinnis. He agrees to briefly meet me at the coffee shop down the street so I can give him the glove—which we both hoped might have some fingerprints—and show him the pic I snapped of VSK’s message before I scrubbed it away.

I also take a sample of the blood left on the porch in case it is different from one on the glove. Everything is safe and secure in Ziploc baggies. After all I’ve experienced this year, I’m not messing around.

Shauna tells me more about the cult and informs me about the bohemian dress style of the cult members so after a quick stop at the thrift store I am dressed hippy chic. I feel naked without a pair of tight shorts on, but the skirt is breezy and makes me feel kind of loosey goosey, which is probably exactly what I need to emulate the Together We Come lifestyle.

After we go shopping, Shauna drops me and Shit off at the office, along with my bags. I’m leaving Vanna with her so she can cover my cleaning jobs until I return. I pushed everything I could and for those few jobs that couldn’t change dates, well...I just