Dawn of Eve - MJ Howson (read full novel .txt) 📗

“Are they the same?”

“Yes.” Dawn began to fold and crease her scarf. “I . . . I know you think I’m crazy for believing it’s the voice of my daughter I lost.”

“We never use that word here, Dawn.”

“Oh. Right.” Dawn leaned forward slightly, allowing her shoulders to droop. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for. You’ve had five miscarriages. How can it not haunt you?” Dr. Cole leaned back in his leather tufted chair, causing the hinges to creak. The air conditioner in the window hummed and rattled as it blasted cooling air into the room. He glanced down at his notes and said, “We were about to talk about your mother when the last session ended. Would you like to start there?”

“My mother?” Dawn became visibly frustrated. Her eyes darted around the room as if she were looking for an exit. She pointed at the doctor’s hands clasped in front of him. “I . . . I like your cufflinks. Are they turquoise?”

“What?” Dr. Cole’s wardrobe selection was limited. He typically wore a pair of gray wool slacks and whatever striped button-down shirt Flo picked out for him. He’d forgotten about the cufflinks. “Oh, yes. My wife got them for my birthday.”

“Is it your birthstone?”

“Yes.” Dr. Cole took a moment to smooth out his sleeves.

“December?”

“Why, yes. The fifteenth.”

“Sagittarius.” Dawn smiled, looking relaxed for the first time since entering the office. “One year, my mother did an entire collection based on zodiac stones. Did you know that your birthstone is different from your zodiac stone?”

“No. No, I didn’t.”

“Topaz.”

“Excuse me?”

“That’s your zodiac stone. The color would look good on you.”

“That’s good to know.” Dr. Cole smiled and scratched his beard. “Did you want to talk about your mother?”

“Can we talk about Jacob?” Dawn slid the sapphire pendant from beneath her neckline and twirled the platinum chain around her fingers. “He’s important to me.”

“If you’d like. But, we talked about him last time.” Dr. Cole leaned forward and gently clasped his fingers together. “Tell me, Dawn, why do you avoid talking about your mother?”

“I . . . I just don’t see why it’s necessary. I told you Jacob’s the one. I never thought I could get pregnant again.”

“I know. It’s important we understand why it’s so important for you to be a mother. You’ve had so many setbacks. One’s childhood can impact their parenting.” Dr. Cole placed his readers back on, dampened his fingertips, and methodically began to flip through the patient folder on his desk. “Let’s talk about your father. You lost him when you were twenty-two, correct?”

“Yes.” Dawn lowered her head and tucked the pendant away. “Like I said, it was an accident.”

“Were you close?”

“No. He . . . he wasn’t nice to my mom.”

“No?”

“For someone with a pressed shirt and cufflinks, you really aren’t up on the fashion world, are you?”

Dr. Cole smiled but didn’t respond. He was glad Dawn was speaking at ease and about her family. The stale air caused his nose to become itchy, forcing him to grab a tissue to wipe his nostrils. He glanced at the AC, looking forward to cooler days when he could open the window.

“My parents were a, uh, volatile couple.” Dawn tossed her scarf across her chair’s armrest. “Not a month went by when you couldn’t find them on page six of the Post. They fought all the time.”

Dawn watched with concern as Dr. Cole’s piercing glare remained fixed on her. He asked, “Did those fights ever involve you?”

“No.” Dawn bit her upper lip as she stared past Dr. Cole, lost in her thoughts. “I don’t know. Maybe there were times. Many of their fights were about work. My . . . my dad may have built a fashion empire, but the company would never have succeeded without my mom’s designs. She was the talent. Without her, he would’ve been nothing.”

“And what was your dad’s role in the business?”

“He had the money and the skills to build the company from the ground up.”

“You said they fought about work. What else?”

“He was, well, he was . . . a cheat.”

“Oh.”

“It started as love. I guess. They had mutual goals, you know?” Dawn lowered her head and sighed. “But at some point, it became a marriage of convenience.”

“Do you worry that your relationship with Jacob will be like your parents’ marriage?”

“What?” Dawn sat there looking stunned. “Jacob would never cheat on me. He’s not like that!”

“Okay. Okay, that’s . . . that’s good to know.” Dr. Cole presented a supportive smile, despite being taken aback by her reaction. “We . . . we sometimes end up mimicking our parents without realizing it.”

“I’m nothing like my mother.”

Dr. Cole nodded. He knew she still wasn’t ready to discuss her relationship with her mother. He glanced at his notes from Dawn’s second session when they covered her past miscarriages. After reviewing them, Dr. Cole leaned back in his chair and scratched his beard.

“Dawn, you told me your first two pregnancies were unplanned, correct? You weren’t in any sort of relationship.”

“Right. I was only twenty-one that first time.” Dawn lowered her eyes and stared at her hands. “And the second happened a few years later.”

“But your next two pregnancies happened when you were dating?”

“Yes. Both those times, I was in love.”

“Was it like the love you feel for Jacob?”

Dawn looked up at Dr. Cole and furrowed her brow as if she’d never been asked that question before or given the subject any thought. She said, “It’s different this time. With Jacob.”

“And there was a long break between your fourth pregnancy and the last one, correct?”

“Yes. I . . . I could never conceive. My doctor said no fertility plan would ever allow me to get pregnant again. Don’t you see? That’s why Jacob’s so special.”

“Did you continue with fertility drugs after the fourth miscarriage?”

“Well, for a bit. But the doctors said it wouldn’t make a difference. I tried so many different doctors.”

“You aren’t on the fertility drugs now, are you?”

“No.”

“Okay, good. Drug interactions can have serious side effects.