Blood Loss by Kerena Swan (brene brown rising strong .txt) 📗

‘Give her time to relax. Maybe she’ll do something later.’

I curl my feet under me on the plush sofa and turn to Mum. It’s a rare treat for us to spend time together without work or chores getting in the way but she looks tired and ill at ease. Perhaps reminiscing about the past will bring a smile to her face.

‘Do you remember when I made perfume out of rose petals and sold the brown liquid to the neighbours?’

Her mouth twitches. ‘They were too polite to say it smelled like rotten vegetables. You always managed to charm the adults because you were so outgoing and cute.’ Mum gazes out of the window as she talks. ‘I think we all indulged you too much, especially your dad, but you were our little miracle baby. We tried for months to have Lucy and had given up hope of a second child when you came along.’

‘I bet that was a shock for her. Did Lucy and I squabble much as kids?’ She was constantly ordering me about, I recall.

‘All the time! Lucy wanted the sort of little sister who’d look up to her and be led by her but you were too rebellious for that. When she wanted to play schools and be the teacher you’d scribble on the books or run off laughing and she’d get cross. You broke her toys too, lost pieces of her puzzles and ruined her art sets.’

‘Not on purpose.’

‘You were just mischievous and liked winding her up.’

And she used to pinch me or pull my hair when no one was looking.

‘We’re all grown up now but Lucy still seems… hostile,’ I say.

‘I don’t think she ever forgave you for her rabbit.’

‘That was an accident.’ Well, sort of.

‘You did let him out of his cage, Jenna.’

‘Only because I thought he’d be happier in the garden. I’d seen that television programme about animals in captivity and wanted him to have a better life.’

‘Instead, he had no life at all.’

He’d hopped round to the drive and been run over by our neighbour. Lucy didn’t speak to me for a week, even though I was devastated by what had happened.

‘I was only six,’ I remind Mum. ‘Lucy shouldn’t be holding a grudge so many years later.’

‘It wasn’t only the rabbit. She thought you caused us a lot of worry as a teenager by staying out late, bringing so many friends home and borrowing money. She used to say we were too lenient with you, but your father said he just wanted a quiet life. I think he’d run out of energy to deal with you.’

‘But that was years ago.’

Mum only shrugs and I feel guilty suddenly. I’d meant to cheer her up, not depress her.

‘Come on,’ I say. There’s a relaxation class on in ten minutes. Let’s try that.’

‘Can I get you anything else, Mum?’ I stand and pick up my plate to collect another helping from the delicious buffet. I’m really impressed with this place. The pool is beautiful, the exercise classes fun and the food is perfect for a vegan like me. The buffet of colourful salads, vegetables and pulses makes my mouth water. If only I could eat here every day. I just need to avoid the peanuts or I’ll swell up like a puffer fish.

‘I’m full,’ Mum says.

‘But you haven’t eaten enough to keep a mouse alive.’

Mum has artfully piled food to the side of her plate to make it look like she’s eaten more than she has. She tells me she needs the loo so while she’s gone I pile my plate with second helpings of cous cous, beetroot and chickpea salad. By the time I’m halfway through eating it she still hasn’t returned. Maybe she’s got a dodgy tummy or maybe she’s fed up because she’s realised we’re planning a party and are keeping her out of the house so everything can be got ready. We’ve tried hard to keep it a secret, but it’s been difficult to hide the frustration and irritation Lucy and I have felt towards each other during the whole planning process.

My phone lights up and I see I have a call from Lucy. I refuse to answer it in a restaurant, especially in one where people have come to relax and retreat from the world, so I wait for it to go to voicemail then send a text.

Can’t talk now. In restaurant. I add a rolling eyes emoji for good measure. I spoke to her two hours ago. What more is there to say?

Go outside then. I need to speak to you.

I’m not leaving the table now. Mum will be back any minute and she’ll wonder where I am. Later, I message.

The phone lights up again.

Answer the bloody phone!

Ignoring it, I return to the buffet for a fruit dessert. Mum reappears and slips back into her seat. She looks wan and the white dressing gown isn’t flattering her complexion.

‘Are you all right, Mum? Do you feel unwell?’

‘I’m fine, love.’ Mum tries to reassure me with a smile but I’m not fooled. She’s far from fine.

Oh God, what if she wants to go home early? Lucy will go mad. ‘Shall we go for a stroll around the grounds while the sun’s shining?’ I ask. ‘There are some lovely gardens.’

‘Good idea. I’ll just have a coffee first and relax for a bit.’

‘I’ll get it for you.’ I jump up and go to the coffee machine. ‘Here. I’ll be back in a few minutes. I just need to make a quick call.’

Mum looks at me in surprise but doesn’t ask who I need to call. She takes a small sip of coffee then leans her head back against the wall and shuts her eyes.

I take a deep breath and call Lucy. ‘What’s up?’

‘Finished your leisurely lunch now? Don’t spare a thought for me and Grace, rushing around sorting out the party.’

‘Don’t make me feel guilty. It was all