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he could easily crush me in his massive black maw and swallow me whole. Without my rings or even a knife to cut my way out his stomach, my only option would be to start punching his guts from the inside. Maybe, maybe that would induce him to vomit me out. Unless he was smart enough to submerge first, fill his guts with water, and drown me. Of course he was smart enough. It was his obvious kill strategy, an ingrained instinct that was older than alligators.

Wha-KACK!

I yelped in surprise and held on to Escape Tree’s root foot with every bit of strength I had, fearing Froggy was hopping up the slope to get me. One more hop before he latched onto my leg and—

I should’ve stayed home tonight.

I really, really should have listened to Captain Theia and stayed home.

—: Chapter 105 :—

This time, Froggy’s giant tongue missed my ankle by mere centimeters.

If my Escape Tree hadn’t been dragging me uphill while I kicked frantically, Froggy probably would’ve gotten me. His tongue was as big around as my leg and it was solid muscle. More than strong enough to break my femur if it hit at speed. If that were to happen, even if I escaped Froggy, I’d definitely be done out here with a broken leg.

Not gonna happen.

I dug my fingernails into Escape Tree’s root to let it know I meant business.

The tree didn’t vocalize a complaint, but it did drop a few more of its fruits bouncing down on me as it hustled up the ever-steepening hillside, dragging me with it. Thankfully it wasn’t smart enough to realize its winning strategy would be to go downhill toward where Froggy could yank me into his watery maw.

Lucky for me, Escape Tree never figured it out.

Its dozens of roots continued their uphill climb, dragging me along while my legs kicked at the slick grass to help us along. The higher we went, the harder I squeezed Escape Tree’s roots.

Eventually, it dragged me over another grassy ledge onto a relatively level area and I let go. Looking down, I saw I was at least 20 or 30 meters up from the river and there were plenty of trees and jungle bushes between me, Froggy, and the water.

Not ready to trust my footing while standing — the grass under my hands and knees was still too slippery — I started crawling. Went past the tree roots of Escape Tree where it had stopped. The thick roots had taken on a wooden, spidery appearance now that they were settled. I continued crawling, careful not to touch any roots, and kept going until I was safely past. Didn’t want to accidentally irritate the tree and cause it to drop more fruits banging on my head. One hard hit could easily give me a concussion or worse, knock me out cold. If that happened, I’d either go sliding back down to the river and Froggy’s maw, or I’d get eaten alive by something else up here long before I woke up.

Once I was far enough past Escape Tree to be out of range of its fruit bombs, I stopped and sat a minute to check my feet for cuts. Didn’t find anything too serious — plenty of scrapes wet with black blood due to the faint moonlight — but my soles felt hot, tender, and roughed up by the sharper river rocks. I wasn’t some advanced barefoot fanatic like some people. My novice feet were definitely not ready for a long walk over rugged jungle terrain. And that was when they were fresh, not scuffed up from my recent river escape.

What I wouldn’t do to have my rings working again! I could whip up shoes in seconds. No, hiking boots. And water-wicking socks. Whatever I could think up.

I tried them again, but neither ring would activate.

I spun them on my fingers.

They barely glinted in the purple moonlight. Because of that pirate energy weapon, they had gone from magical to mundane hunks of metal.

What was I without them?

Could I have my coronation and become king without a functional True Ring? Was there some “Miracle Test” I would have to perform before they gave me the throne? If there was, I was screwed. If my rings didn’t reboot, or whatever they had to do — Get repaired? Replaced? — there was a good chance I’d end up as a male slave. Zalaxia didn’t want a nerdy robotics engineer with weak feet for a king. They wanted a heroic, larger-than-life King Sekton Darkstar who could wrestle mountains and shout lightning bolts from his mouth and glare lasers from his eyes. Who else would protect them from the likes of Baron Crewd von Bludlust and his deadly space pirates? The same pirates who neutralized the ring of every Shock Knight with me. If they could shut down the 53 of us in one fell swoop, could they shut down the entire Zalaxian military with equal ease?

I hated to think.

If I had a functional ring — even just the less-powerful Bombshells Ring — I could do all kinds of miraculous things to protect this planet from Crewd and his pirates.

Without either ring working?

I could already feel the plasma slave-whips cracking savagely at my back.

Before I could worry about that bleak ending to my intergalactic adventure, I felt something crawling under my bare butt. I instantly clenched everything and jumped to my bare feet with a gasp. Dusting myself off, I made sure I didn’t have worms or worse trying to burrow inside my ass cheeks or exit hatch.

I didn’t find anything and sighed with relief.

That settled it.

If I made it back to base alive, I was never going out in the jungle again.

I thought of Violet, of how easily she had lived in this jungle like it was second nature. For me it was currently hundredth nature or worse. So frustrating. What would Violet think of me now? It was so much easier to be the chivalrous hero when

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