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happens when these complementary colors are placed side by side is a perfect analogy of what happens when masculinity and femininity get together. Each allows the other to shine by complementing the other. When coupled in a pair, the woman looks more beautiful and radiant, and the man is seen as better-looking and stronger.

On the other hand, if we mix the same blue and orange together, as in paint, we would get quite an unattractive color: a shade of mud. That’s what happens in a culture that tries to water down and blend the genders. It diminishes both.

When we keep the full spectrum of masculine and feminine, magic happens because we enhance each other’s colors in ways we can’t do on our own. That’s why we often find ourselves commenting that a couple looks good together, that they make a lovely couple, or that she makes him look good. Masculine men and feminine women complement each other beautifully. As long as we enhance and appreciate our differences, we can bring out the finest qualities in each other.

Polarity Motivates Greatness

Gender polarity not only jump-starts romantic love, but also creates a motivating synergy that assists us in accomplishing amazing feats. Many men have been inspired to great heights by having a loving feminine woman by their side. Polarity between a man and woman acts like a fire in the belly that drives both to surpass anything they’ve ever done before. The inspiration from a man’s deep love for a woman or a woman’s deep love for a man has created many masterpieces in the arts, such as poetry, novels, paintings, and music.

This love has also given rise to many revolutionary inventions and scientific achievements that would not have been created otherwise. For instance, it was the inspiration of Alexander Graham Bell’s beloved wife Mabel, who was completely deaf from the age of five, that helped motivate him to greatness. While he was courting her, she urged him to put off marriage until his experiments were complete. Hence, he invented the telephone, married Mabel, and became rich and famous. History recalls scores of other such stories.

“The pages of history are filled with the records of great leaders whose achievements may be traced directly to the influence of women who aroused the creative faculties of their minds, through the stimulation of sex desire.”

– Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich

And so, to live an inspired and interesting life, we should delight in our differences. As much as we might try to deny it, we need two distinct genders. The world needs the best of both masculine and feminine to thrive.

Recap

We’re having trouble forming lasting relationships today because men and women are losing polarity by losing our distinctions.

Polarity is important because it creates magnetic sexual attraction that brings us together to form relationships.

A world without polarity would be colorless, boring, and un-motivating.

The dance of complementary genders can be compared to the trellis and the vine.

There has to be one driver and one passenger for a relationship to work; we can reverse roles as long as we maintain balance.

Male and female brains are remarkably different and give us different innate abilities, but different does not mean unequal.

Distinct genders complement each other by bringing different gifts.

Like color complements, opposites bring out the best in each other when they are seen in contrast.

Polarity can motivate us to greatness.

Explorations and Journaling

In what specific ways have you noticed the genders blurring, if any?

What does gender polarity mean to you?

Why do you think we have stopped celebrating the inherent differences between men and women?

If you abandoned your femininity at any point, what did you gain in exchange?

What are your favorite aspects of being a female?

In what areas of life would you like a man to be stronger or more capable than you?

In what areas would you like to bring out more of your femininity?

In observing polarity in color complements, put opposite colors such as blue and orange next to each other to see how they enhance one another. Describe what you notice.

When you go out, notice couples that complement one another. Articulate why they work well together.

Next time you see a trellis and vine, stop to observe how they complement each other. Write out what you observe.

Think of ways you can create more excitement with men using the principles of polarity.

Chapter 5

Has “Need” Become a Four-Letter Word?

“Men and women are like two feet; they need each other to get ahead.”

– Dr. Helen Fisher

Our Aversion to the Word “Need”

As a whole, we women seem to be proud of not needing a man. We can even wear it like a badge of honor. However, we have no idea how this kind of pride destroys a man’s adoration for us.

We’ve come to believe that autonomy is synonymous with strength. As part of our cultural emphasis on independence, we have heard repeatedly that we are not supposed to need a man in our lives. We have been led to believe there is something wrong with us if we say we “need” a man, and we have been conditioned to deny these thoughts and feelings as though needing a man is an unpardonable sin. Even if we secretly admit to ourselves we need a man, we don’t dare say it aloud. Many of us disappear into a closet with our needs, where we pretend to be perfectly happy—independent and alone.

Men have described a modern-day trend in women’s online dating profiles in which women write that they “don’t need a man, they just want a man.” However, this statement does not endear a woman to them; in fact, they tell me it turns them off. Men need to feel useful to women, but how can they feel useful if we claim we don’t need them?

Sure, we can exist without a man, but that isn’t living life to the fullest. Quality men can add so much to our lives if we let them. The right man opens the

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