Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (book series to read .TXT) 📗

difference being that I was now sated…fulfilled…happy. It was a foreign feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long, long time. I often wondered where things went wrong between Marcus and me, but as of late, those thoughts hadn’t crossed my mind.

Gage: This morning was…amazing.

I knew he was busy at work, but I couldn’t wait to hear from him. I’d spent the majority of my day thinking about what happened this morning.

Me: Yes…for me it was. I tried to make it amazing for you, but you wouldn’t let me!

Gage: It was amazing for me, trust me. Listening to your sweet moans and ragged breath and watching you come apart…that was amazing.

 

His words made me crave more. I felt wanted. It was something I’d been yearning for. I never realized how much I’d missed that feeling until now.

Me: Next time will be even better.

Gage: I can’t wait for that.

Me: These feelings you give me…it’s scary.

Gage: I know what you mean.

Me: What do we do?

Gage: Honestly…I don’t know. I guess we just go with it.

 

I didn’t want our conversation to enter a territory of darkness, but the reality of the situation was that we were really screwed up. It was hard to ignore.

Me: I’m cool going with it…for now. I just know things can’t be like this forever.

Gage: I know.

Me: Anyway…sorry. I didn’t mean to bring things down. Just thinking about everything stresses me out sometimes.

Gage: I understand. I think about things like that too…I just don’t talk about it.

Me: When do you think I’ll be able to see you again?

Gage: Would you be opposed to another morning?

Me: No. Whatever we need to do.

Gage: Mornings are easy to work out, but eventually I’m going to have to have you for longer than an hour, and in a bigger space than my truck.

Me: Oh yeah?

Gage: Yes.

Me: Let me know what you come up with. You know I’m down for anything.

Gage: Alright, sweetie. Getting back to work…talk soon.

 

I replied with a kissy face emoji and smiled down at my phone when a text alert startled my attention back to another screen.

Marcus: Should be home in the early afternoon tomorrow.

Great. Marcus—the painful reminder that things weren’t easy. Truthfully, my life was a mess. I should have felt bad for the things that were currently transpiring, but I didn’t. I felt no remorse. We were married on paper, but we lived two separate lives. Hopefully we’d come to an agreement and we’d separate amicably, or maybe things would end in a nightmare…

Chapter Twelve

 

Marcus strolled through the door shortly after three that Friday. He dragged his luggage in, threw his briefcase on the table, and tugged at his tie. I was sitting on a barstool at the kitchen island on my laptop, filling out an assessment I had received from one of the jobs I applied for. I hoped this was a good sign for my future.

“Hello,” I said. “How was your flight?”

“Ridiculous,” he said, walking toward the refrigerator. He grabbed a bottle of water then came to me, popping a quick kiss to my cheek. I hadn’t seen him all week, and that was all I got…not that I expected anything more…or cared for that matter.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you doing?” he asked, tipping his water bottle back as he eyed my laptop.

“I applied for a few jobs,” I explained. “Just received an e-mail from one of them to complete an assessment. Hopefully this means an interview will follow.”

“What made you decide to look for a job?”

“I’m getting bored around here, Marcus. I have to have something to do. Keeping up the house, cooking, and running errands isn’t enough, and since you don’t want kids, I’m going crazy being here all the time just doing those things.”

“I guess I understand that,” he said.

This wasn’t the normal Marcus. Any other time I mentioned working he put up a fuss and told me I was being ungrateful. He’d always remind me that I “had it made,” and there were plenty of women who would kill to be in my position. I had a beautiful home, a nice car, a big bank account, and a husband who didn’t make me work, what could be missing? If only he knew.

“Really? You’ve always been against me working.” There, I said it. Fighting with him was the last thing I wanted to do, but there was no point in skirting around the facts.

“I know, but now that you mention it, it will probably be good for you.”

“Alright, cool. Well, I’m glad you agree. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck sweetie,” he said, grabbing his bags and heading toward the stairs. “Any company would be lucky to have you.”

I rolled my eyes and continued with my task. He was so full of crap. He probably wanted me to get a job so I could direct all of my attention on it, and not focus on him and his lies.

I finished the assessment and received a follow-up e-mail a couple of hours later. I had an interview scheduled. Another part of my life was finally looking up.

***

“Get dressed. Let’s go to dinner.” Marcus said.

We hadn’t been out in a while and I didn’t care to go, but I didn’t want to seem unusual, so I dressed in a black dress and followed his plan. As we rode downtown in mostly silence, there was an awkward tension between us. I knew the reason for the discomfort, but he was in his own world. Would he ever bring up the fact that things between us were now different?

He held the door for me and placed his hand on the small of my back as we entered. Besides a few pop kisses, this was the most