Devlin and Garrick by Cameron Dane (best big ereader TXT) 📗

“Seems a little one-sided.”

“Nah, it wasn’t.” Devlin had a faraway look in his eyes as he answered. “I never felt used or wished for more with Kevin. He always kissed me back, and even though he closed his eyes while I blew him, it wasn’t because he was trying to picture someone else doing him. Kevin would put his hand in my hair and hold me to him. He said my name when he moaned about what he liked and what he wanted more of, and he even gave me a hand job in return if I didn’t come on my own while I was doing him. He apologized that it wasn’t a blowjob but said he couldn’t see himself doing more. I didn’t mind.” Devlin blinked and came back to Gradyn with a sheepish smile. “Hey, it’s nice to feel a hand other than your own pulling on your dick every once in a while, you know?”

“Hell yeah, it is.” Gradyn flashed a fast grin. “So what ultimately happened with Kevin?”

“He put an end to it. He said he felt like a selfish bastard taking advantage of me, and he was starting to have trouble facing himself in the mirror. He said if he could go all the way for anybody it would be me, but that it just wasn’t who he was, and that as a friend he wanted me to have someone who could get just as excited about sucking my dick as I got sucking his. He said he’d probably kick himself in the ass the next time he had to take care of a hard-on with his own hand, but that it was the right thing to do before someone got hurt or we ended up losing our friendship over what we were doing. I agreed that it was probably a good idea.”

Gradyn couldn’t help the twist to his lips. “Are you sure Kevin’s speech wasn’t a line of bullshit?”

“It wasn’t.” Again, Devlin didn’t pause with his response. “Kevin is a good guy, and he didn’t avoid me afterward. Shit, he still came to my apartment, alone, obviously not scared that the gay guy was going to attack him. Once we talked about it and agreed that we wouldn’t do what we were doing anymore, we didn’t. It was tough for me at first; I really did like kissing him as much as I liked sucking him off.” Devlin seemed to turn inward again, and he shifted to stare out at the water for a moment before coming back to Gradyn. “The fact that it was so difficult at first told me that stopping was the best thing we could have done. Too much longer and the little crush I’d developed on him might have turned into real feelings that would have made it very hard to stay friends afterward.”

“Do you think Kevin still thinks about what you guys did together?”

“I’m sure he remembers it,” Devlin answered. “But I don’t think he pines for it or has wishful thoughts about our time together, if that’s what you’re asking. That girl who didn’t know Kevin existed a few years ago? They’re engaged now. He’s completely in love with her, and she finally woke up and realized what a wonderful person Kevin is too. I don’t begrudge him any happiness with her. She is what he wants, and Emily is a good friend of mine now too. So, anyway,” Devlin scratched his fingers through his hair, shrugged, and did that hangdog smile thing of his, “that’s how I’m not entirely a novice when it comes to blowjobs. You can thank Kevin.”

Arousal slammed back into Gradyn with hurricane force. “Remind me to send him an e-mail.” He withdrew his wallet and slipped the appropriate amount of money he had promised into the restaurant billfold. “Did you ever find someone who could reciprocate your enthusiasm for sucking cock?”

“No.” With that one word, Devlin slid back to a complete blush. “Life got a little hectic after that, and Redemption isn’t exactly teeming with openly gay men.” He looked as if he swallowed something awful, and then added, “Myself included.”

Gradyn moved to Devlin’s side of the table and curled his hand against the back of the chair. He put his lips to Devlin’s ear and kept his voice low. “Then it’s well past time you put your dick in another man’s mouth. And you are in luck because I am so fucking hungry for a taste of you.” He drew Devlin to his feet and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Let’s go back to the motel.”

In a shot, Devlin leaned into Gradyn and slipped his arms around his waist. He burrowed himself right into Gradyn’s body and tucked his face against Gradyn’s neck. “I like you so much, Denny.” Devlin’s confession sank into Gradyn and shook him to his core.

With the life Gradyn led, it fucking terrified him to feel the same.

Against his better judgment, Gradyn whispered, “I like you too, beautiful,” and led Devlin out of the restaurant...

*

...Garrick blinked and looked up at the ceiling of his garage apartment to find himself half-hard on the memories of a man he could no longer be.

His chest ached with a familiar pain; his eyes hurt as sleep continued to elude him, and his mind spun with how he would handle this new wrinkle in his utterly stupid impulse to move to Redemption.

All that insanity five weeks ago to get himself safely to Redemption under another new name and life, and not once had Gradyn--Garrick now, damn it--considered what he would do if Devlin saw through this new name, face, and body to the person he’d spent one weekend with in San Francisco five years ago.

He saw Denny. He saw me.

Gradyn Connell should have anticipated better from the person he had somehow fallen in love with in two days, but Garrick Langley could not afford the impression Gradyn had apparently left on Devlin all these