Club You to Death by Anuja Chauhan (pdf e book reader .TXT) 📗

Bhavani, reflecting privately that it is only people with great privilege who can afford to think like this, changes the subject.

‘You have only met Leo twice then? We were told – perhaps there was some mistake – that you are his lawyer.’

‘Oh that.’ Kashi looks sheepish. ‘Some bumptious asshole was leaning hard on him yesterday, during tambola, in front of everybody. I hate bullies, so I decided to butt in and say I represent him.’

Bhavani Singh’s square, homely face breaks into a pleased smile.

‘We recognize you now!’ he says, snapping his fingers. ‘You are quite a well-known vakeel! You got a jhuggi colony a big compensation, your picture was in the paper today!’

‘A very small picture,’ Kashi mutters, now looking even more embarrassed. ‘Really tiny …’

‘ACP Singh?’

The young girl in the ALPHA FEMALE sweatshirt has popped her head into the cottage doorway.

‘Bhatti uncle says both the gym trainers are here,’ she says, looking at him in an oddly fixed manner. ‘They’re in the gym, with your men. You should go there.’

‘Thank you,’ Bhavani replies.

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and continues to look exclusively at him. ‘No problem.’

There is an awkward pause. Bhavani notices that Akash Dogra, so gregarious thus far, is now looking down studiously at his empty teacup, while the tips of his ears slowly turn red.

Oho. A penny drops in the ACP’s brain. This girl has come rushing to Guest Cottage No. 5 with the sole intention of ignoring Dogra pointedly. Interesting! He pours himself a cup of tea and sits back comfortably to see how the little love-scene will develop.

‘So I guess I’ll be going then!’ Bambi says and starts to retreat from the room.

Kashi looks up. ‘I’m sorry your instructor died,’ he blurts out.

She stops.

‘He was a great guy,’ Kashi continues awkwardly.

She turns around.

‘So he really is dead?’ she asks apprehensively. ‘It’s like … pukka?’

Kashi looks confused and glances at Bhavani. ‘Doesn’t everybody know yet?’

She throws up a hand. ‘No, I guess I do know … but I was sort of hoping—’ She shivers. ‘Ugh. Poor Leo. Well, this is better than living with ghastly injuries, I guess.’

‘For sure,’ Kashi agrees at once.

She takes a step into the room and confides, ‘Actually I ended up missing most of his classes, because, no offense, they were too early in the morning for me – even though I live practically next door. That’s why I’m not sadder, I guess. Everybody else is inconsolable outside. They’re all full-on weeping – imagining him dead or crippled. I’m clearly a monster.’

Her eyes belie her statement, however. They look curiously dazed, and her hands are shaking slightly.

Soothingly, Bhavani asks, ‘So what exactly happens in a Zumba class? We are curious.’

‘Hmmm?’ Bambi looks puzzled.

‘What happens in your Zumba class usually, Bee?’ Kashi says patiently.

‘Oh!’ She gives herself a little shake. ‘Well, ours began with Leo coming bouncing up the steps, all sweaty and pumped and radiating his usual Sheila-ki-Jawaani aura. Then—’

Bhavani interrupts, his eyes scanning her face keenly. ‘Why do you say Sheila-ki-Jawaani?’

‘Huh? Oh, the song you know. It begins “I know you want it but you’re never gonna get it, tere haath kabhi na aani.” That was just so Leo. He flaunted his hot bod at all the drooling aunties, but he also had this somehow untouchable quality.’

‘Was he a gay?’ Bhavani wants to know.

‘No no.’ Bambi laughs a little, very sure. ‘He liked women, matlab that much I know—’

‘I wonder how,’ Kashi murmurs.

She has regained enough of her pep now to shoot him a dirty look. ‘It was something else …’ She shrugs. ‘Like he had a chip on his shoulder or something …’

Bhavani nods encouragingly. ‘Thoda … twisted tha, kya? Maybe inwardly resentful of his wealthy lady clients?’

Bambi laughs again. ‘Maybe! He definitely got a kick out of seeing the rich old aunties grinding to stuff like “Give it to me, I’m worth it”.’

‘O really?’ Bhavani sits up straighter.

‘But he was cocky AF mostly. He totally had the upper hand … he’d take his own sweet time finishing his personal workout, coming up the stairs only by six-forty, six-fifty sometimes, and they’d wait for him without a murmur! These ladies! Who are so sharp with their domestic staff for being even two minutes late! And sometimes he’d randomly cancel class saying he was unwell, and instead of demanding a make-up class, or their money back, they’d all put these cooing messages on the group – “So sorry to hear that!” and “Get well soon!” and “Awww take care”. It used to really piss me off!’

‘Sounds like Krishan Kanhaiya conducting a Raaslila,’ Bhavani Singh says thoughtfully.

She lets out a loud snort of laughter. ‘That’s it exactly! They’re such a bunch of sighing gopis!’ Then she pulls up short, guiltily. ‘I shouldn’t laugh. He’s dead. Oh God, he’s dead!’

Her face goes pale. She gulps, swaying a little.

‘Here, sit down.’ Kashi leaps up and gets her a chair.

Bambi sits, smiling at him gratefully. Then she turns to look at the lounging Bhavani. ‘Hadn’t you better go talk to the trainers?’ she asks doubtfully. ‘They’re waiting for you.’

‘O yes.’ Bhavani Singh says. ‘Which way is the gym again?’

‘I’ll show you.’ She rises to her feet.

‘Bambi.’

She stops at once. Akash Dogra is staring at her, his gaze intense.

‘Stay.’

Bhavani gives a little chuckle. ‘We will find the gym,’ he says. ‘It is okay. You stay with vakeel sa’ab. Also, vakeel sa’ab – are you very much busy today?’

‘Uh no,’ Akash replies, still looking at Bambi. ‘As a matter of a fact I’m free for three whole weeks!’

‘Very good! Please wait here for us then! We want to finish our chat with you!’

He walks briskly out of the cottage.

A certain constraint creeps back into the room.

‘Free for three weeks?’ Bambi asks. ‘Are the courts shut?’

Kashi considers this question for a longer time than logically required, then says. ‘You didn’t even say bye yesterday.’

‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘The tambola broke up, and everybody started walking out, and I thought I could sell