The Funny Thing about Norman Foreman by Julietta Henderson (sci fi books to read .TXT) 📗

else. Find out exact date of the Fringe led to finding out the person in charge, finding out the rules and then eventually to simply find out everything. Buy train tickets led to checking off-peak prices, checking timetables and the genius maybe check buses, too.

The where to stay list filled an entire page once the plain and simple directive book accommodation had generated questions of where, for how long and how much we could afford. And what to take turned into three pages of random bulletpoints of things like buying Norman a new bag and a week’s worth of new underwear, plus a separate list of the various creams and lotions to take for his skin.

It was woefully inadequate, most of it was utter drivel and I probably hadn’t answered even a fraction of the most important questions I needed to, but it was a start, it was all I had and, frankly, I was exhausted. When I stood up to rinse out my teacup, the hair that was still wrapped around my finger caught on the tap and I felt it snap. I closed my eyes for longer than I could call a blink and a small blond boy darted past on the way to the biscuit tin. Feet first and damn the consequences. I can do this, I thought. I can do this. Because wouldn’t I do anything to make Norman smile?

12NORMAN

First rule of comedy: When you think it can’t be done, try doing it.

I miss him.

If I come in too early with my punchline or I’m too late and I accidentally leave Jax hanging at the end of a joke, he always goes, don’t worry Norman, there’s loads and loads of time until we’re fifteen. But when Mum said she was going to help me make that new plan come true and I really and truly was going to go to the Fringe without Jax, all I could think was, there isn’t loads of time any more. And I’m twelve and only just.

Jax says being scared is just your big old brain telling you that you can’t do something and brave is when you go ahead and do it anyway. He also reckons that I’m the bravest guy he knows, which is exactly the kind of thing a best friend would say, only I’m not really sure it’s true. Like even when my teacher said welcome back Norman and you’re doing really well under the circumstances, I was just thinking, if you could hear what my big old brain is telling me right now I’m pretty sure you’d take that back Mrs Ferris. And I miss him.

Mum said I didn’t have to go back to school until I was good and ready and that her boss Dennis could go fly a kite if he had anything to say about her taking more time off to look after me. But I’ll tell you something. I knew that I probably wasn’t ever going to be good and ready. Not in another week or another month or even if I stayed at home for the next couple of years and then skipped straight into Year 9. So I just went.

Mum bought me a new backpack that had aliens stole my homework written all over it, because she said she thought it might make me smile. And then she walked me all the way to the bus stop, which she hasn’t done since I was ten, and goes, Norman, if it all gets too much you just get them to call me and I’ll be there in a jiffy. And I said I will Mum and then because she looked so sad I said, and you can do the same and get them to call me if Dennis gets too much. Which made her laugh, but I actually meant it.

When I got off the bus at school, straight away I thought well, this backpack probably isn’t going to last too long because here comes Archie Lowry and that’s the first thing I have to worry about. But instead of saying, oi scabby, what’s occurring and give me a look at that dumb bag you’ve got, Archie just goes, hello Norman and everybody’s really glad you’re back. Which made me think that maybe the Head did a special assembly for Jax and I should have been there, and also how weird is it that your best friend has to die before some people decide to be nice to you.

There’s a lot of things you have to think about when you don’t have a best friend any more. Like where you’re going to sit for lunch and who you’re going to talk to about last night’s Live at the Apollo, and what you’re going to say when people ask you if you’re OK. And how you’re going to finish your pairs biology project when the other half of your pair is gone.

Jax reckoned doing a project on the human body was going to be the easiest thing ever because we were already experts without even trying and how cool was that. We started a big red notebook and put all the weird stuff we found out from the internet in, like how it’s impossible to tickle yourself and how humans can’t breathe and swallow at the same time. And how every single person in the world loses about a million skin cells every day, so around 80 per cent of the dust around your house is actually made up of all that fallen-off human skin.

When Mrs Ferris gave us some quiet time to work on our projects I didn’t open that red notebook for ages, because even though Archie and his mates were still being nice I didn’t want to push my luck by crying in front of the whole class. When I did finally open it up, the first thing I saw was the page where Jax had written The Amazing Human Body Parts of Norman