Eco: Foucalt's Pendulum by eco foucault (important books to read .txt) 📗

"And that coverseverybody?"

"Oh, yes, including us.Or at least me. If you take a good look, everybody fits into one ofthese categories. Each of us is sometimes a cretin, a fool, amoron, or a lunatic. A normal person is just a reasonable mix ofthese components, these four ideal types."

"Idealtypen."

"Very good. You knowGerman?"

"Enough forbibliographies."

"When I was in school,if you knew German, you never graduated. You just spent your lifeknowing German. Nowadays I think that happens withChinese."

"My German's poor, soI'll graduate. But let's get back to your typology. What aboutgeniuses? Einstein, for example?"

"A genius uses onecomponent in a dazzling way, fueling it with the others." He took asip of his drink. "Hi there, beautiful," he said. "Made thatsuicide attempt yet?"

"No," the girl answeredas she walked by. "I'm in a collective now."

"Good for you," Belbosaid. He turned back to me. "Of course, there's no reason one can'thave collective suicides, too."

"Getting back to thelunatics."

"Look, don't take me tooliterally. I'm not trying to put the universe in order. I ¡¥m justsaying what a lunatic is from the point of view of a publishinghouse. Mine is an ad-hoc definition."

"All right. Myround."

"All right. Less ice,Pilade. Otherwise it gets into the bloodstream too fast. Now then:cretins. Cretins don't even talk; they sort of slobber and stumble.You know, the guy who presses the ice cream cone against hisforehead, or enters a revolving door the wrong way."

"That's notpossible."

"It is for a cretin.Cretins are of no interest to us: they never come to publishers'offices. So let's forget about them."

"Let's."

"Being a fool is morecomplicated. It's a form of social behavior. A fool is one whoalways talks outside his glass."

"What do youmean?"

"Like this." He pointedat the counter near his glass. "He wants to talk about what's inthe glass, but somehow or other he misses. He's the guy who putshis foot in his mouth. For example, he says how's your lovely wifeto someone whose wife has just left him."

"Yes, I know a few ofthose."

"Fools are in greatdemand, especially on social occasions. They embarrass everyone butprovide material for conversation. In their positive form, theybecome diplomats. Talking outside the glass when someone elseblunders helps to change the subject. But fools don't interest us,either. They're never creative, their talent is all second-hand, sothey don't submit manuscripts to publishers. Fools don't claim thatcats bark, but they talk about cats when everyone else is talkingabout dogs. They offend all the rules of conversation, and whenthey really offend, they're magnificent. It's a dying breed, theembodiment of all the bourgeois virtues. What they really need is aVerdurin salon or even a chez Guermantes. Do you students stillread such things?"

"I do."

"Well, a fool is aJoachim Murat reviewing his officers. He sees one from Martiniquecovered with medals. ¡¥Vous etes negre?' Murat asks. ¡¥Oui, mongeneral!' the man answers. And Murat says: ¡¥Bravo, bravo,continuez!' And so on. You follow me? Forgive me, but tonight I'mcelebrating a historic decision in my life. I've stopped drinking.Another round? Don't answer, you'll make me feel guilty.Pilade!"

"What about themorons?"

"Ah. Morons never do thewrong thing. They get their reasoning wrong. Like the fellow whosays all dogs are pets and all dogs bark, and cats are pets, too,and therefore cats bark. Or that all Athenians are mortal, and allthe citizens of Piraeus are mortal, so all the citizens of Piraeusare Athenians."

"Which theyare."

"Yes, but onlyaccidentally. Morons will occasionally say something that's right,but they say it for the wrong reason."

"You mean it's okay tosay something that's wrong as long as the reason isright."

"Of course. Why else goto the trouble of being a rational animal?"

"All great apes evolvedfrom lower life forms, man evolved from lower life forms, thereforeman is a great ape."

"Not bad. In suchstatements you suspect that something's wrong, but it takes work toshow what and why. Morons are tricky. You can spot the fool rightaway (not to mention the cretin), but the moron reasons almost theway you do; the gap is infinitesimal. A moron is a master ofparalogism. For an editor, it's bad news. It can take him aneternity to identify a moron. Plenty of morons' books arepublished, because they're convincing at first glance. An editor isnot required to weed out the morons. If the Academy of Sciencesdoesn't do it, why should he?"

"Philosophers don'teither. Saint Anselm's ontological argument is moronic, forexample. God must exist because I ^can conceive Him as a beingperfect in all ways, including existence. The saint confusesexistence in thought with existence in reality."

"True, but Gaunilon'srefutation is moronic, too. I can think of an island in the seaeven if the island doesn't exist. He confuses thinking of thepossible with thinking of the necessary."

"A duel betweenmorons."

"Exactly. And God lovesevery minute of it. He chose to be unthinkable only to prove thatAnselm and Gaunilon were morons. What a sublime purpose forcreation, or, rather, for that act by which God willed Himself tobe: to unmask cosmic mo-ronism."

"We're surrounded bymorons."

"Everyone's amoron¡Xsave me and thee. Or, rather¡XI wouldn't want tooffend¡Xsave thee."

"Somehow I feel thatGodel's theorem has something to do with all this."

"I wouldn't know, I'm acretin. Pilade!"

"My round."

"We'll split it.Epimenides the Cretan says all Cretans are liars. It must be true,because he's a Cretan himself and knows his countrymenwell."

"That's moronicthinking."

"Saint Paul. Epistle toTitus. On the other hand, those who call Epimenides a liar have tothink all Cretans aren't, but Cretans don't trust Cretans,therefore no Cretan calls Epimenides a liar."

"Isn't that moronicthinking?"

"You decide. I told you,they are hard to identify. Morons can even win the Nobelprize."

"Hold on. Of those whodon't believe God created the world in seven days, some are notfundamentalists, but of those who do believe God created the worldin seven days, some are. Therefore, of those who don't believe Godcreated the world in seven days, some are fundamentalists. How'sthat?"

"My God¡Xto use the motjuste¡XI wouldn't know. A moron-ism or not?"

"It is, definitely, evenif it were true. Violates one of the laws of syllogisms: universalconclusions cannot be drawn from two particulars."

"And what if you were amoron?"

"I'd be in excellent,venerable company."

"You're right. Andperhaps, in a logical system different from ours, our moronism iswisdom. The whole history of logic consists of attempts to definean acceptable notion of moronism.