Leaving Normal by Stef Holm (whitelam books txt) 📗

"No. I need to keep a clear head."

He was left with a bunch of unanswered questions, and a shock wave of overwhelming uncertainty.

"Do you know who the guy is?" Rocky asked.

"Not a clue."

A host of questions came at Tony.

Why had she cheated on him? Who was the guy? How long had it been going on? Had they ever had sex in his home, his bed?

One moment his life had been complete, and now it felt discounted. Less than what it was. A clearance. A markdown.

"What are you going to do?" Rocky set his glass down and leaned next to the countertop.

"Don't know." Tony exhaled slowly, trying to focus. "Talk to her."

There were a million things going on in his head, but only one thing surfaced with clarity:

He still had to get the kitten for Parker. No matter what happened with him and Kim, he loved that little girl.

"Mom, these are fifty-percent off." Cassie searched through spools of clearance ribbon at the craft store.

"Pick out all the red velvet ones." Natalie usually bought notions from her suppliers, but the after-holiday sales were really great. At a fifty-percent discount, it meant she could save a lot of money.

Rummaging through the craft ribbons, Natalie wasn't really focused on the palate of colors. This was one of the rare opportunities she'd had this holiday to be alone with her daughter.

Every day had been spent with Austin in tow, her daughter's arm slung around him or Austin's hand grabbing for Cassie's. Resentment had surfaced, a niggling little claw that pulled at the hairs on the back of her neck. Natalie had so looked forward to spending some time alone with her daughter, yet they had barely had a moment together.

She and Cassie had gone shopping together while, thankfully, Austin stayed at Greg's to watch football. Natalie had made a discreet phone call this morning to her ex-husband, planting the idea that he invite Austin over for some "guy-time" since Austin had ended up at Natalie's house for four days. They'd dropped Austin off on the way to the shopping complex.

"So how are things going at school?" Natalie asked, her tone upbeat. She wanted to enjoy every second of this moment. "Tell me how your life is going."

"It's going great, Mom."

"Are you enjoying your classes?"

"Sure." Cassie had thrown her hair into a ponytail, her eye makeup a little darker than she normally wore it. She'd applied a frosted lip gloss that smelled like angel food cake.

"Which one is your favorite?"

"Art design. Austin's in that class with me."

Natalie kept a lightness to her tone. "What does he want to be?"

"He's not sure yet. He's still trying to decide." Cassie had seemed a bit disinterested with their conversation, but then her face lit up. "Did I tell you he's in a band?"

"I believe you mentioned that over Christmas dinner."

"Grandpa thought it was cool that Austin plays the drums."

Fred Miller did have a way with making lemonade out of lemons.

"What about his family?"

"I've never met them. I talked to his mom once on the phone when she called and Austin was in the shower."

The spool of plaid ribbon in Natalie's hand dropped to the floor. She didn't readily move to pick it up. "What were you doing in his room when he was in the shower?"

Cassie's laugh wasn't reassuring. "Mom, I was in his room while he was in the dorm shower. Chill out. Jeez."

Natalie's heart slowed, resuming a normal rhythm. "Well.. -oh." A thought flashed through her mind. She wondered if she should even bring it up, then opted to just go ahead and say it. "Remember how you and I had all those talks about sex, Cassie?"

"How could I forget? You bought me a Play girl when I was in high school and you told me you'd rather me see what a penis looks like in the magazine versus me doing anything stupid out of curiosity."

Natalie did recall doing that. At the time, it seemed a very sensible and liberal thing to do. But to hear Cassie retell it now…it sounded a bit over the top.

"My intentions were good," Natalie said. "I was trying to expose you to human sexuality without you having to see anything, um…exposed to you."

"And your point is?"

"My point is—" Natalie had sort of wished she'd forgotten the point, but she hadn't "—I'd like to think you're being cautious and adult in your decision making now that you don't live with me. I hope that you learned something about abstinence and, at the very least, about safe sex…if you and Austin are…well, you know what I mean—I'm just saying, you need to be careful." quit freaking out."

Relief rushed through Natalie like a breath of fresh air. The feeling of falling over a cliff while trying to reach out and grab something thankfully left with her daughter's reassurance.

"Good for you, honey. I'm proud of you. I know it's hard to hold out, but…good for you." She reached out and gave Cassie a hug. Cassie rolled her eyes, but gave her mom a hug in return.

The very fact that they were having this conversation in a craft store seemed disconcerting, but there had been no other alternative given that they hadn't had time in the past several days to talk privately.

Before she could stop herself, Natalie blurted, "Cassie, I can't see you with a boy like him. You're so opposite."

"I know." Cassie's smile was beautiful. "That's what I like about him. It's the fact that we are so different. We bring out the best in one another, Mom."

An unforeseen feeling of emptiness settled in Natalie's stomach. She remembered what it was like to have that feeling in her life, first with Greg, and then even with Michael Williams. The fact that Cassie was on her own and experiencing a connection with a boy made Natalie both happy…and sad.

She missed her little girl, but the woman she'd turned into seemed to have a level head on her shoulders.

"If he's what makes you happy, then