My Rockstar's Secret Baby by Jamie Knight (red seas under red skies .TXT) 📗

The denial caught in my throat, screaming for release despite the ultimate truth of the matter. I had stepped, however shallowly, into the pool of Metal, and surprisingly liked what I found there.

“True,” I finally agreed.

“But you’re worried about your reputation. What might happen if your friends and colleagues found out you’re with a dirty headbanger?”

“Ragnar is not dirty,” I protested on reflex.

“No, he isn’t, and neither am I. I’m as much of a metalhead as Ragnar, but he’s just managed to make it a career. Are you embarrassed by me? Do you try to hide my very existence?”

“No, I would never.”

“Exactly.”

Casey started to fuss a bit, moving, and twisting in my arms, patting my chest with his tiny hand.

“Oh, I think he’s hungry,” she remarked.

“I definitely don’t have what he’s looking for,” I joked.

I passed Casey back to Jonna, who started to nurse him, a blanket over her shoulder to conceal herself, just as the food she’d already ordered arrived.

Jonna had known exactly what to order. I loved every bit of it, each bite like a jubilee bursting in my mouth. She must have been paying attention during our rare family outings. At periodic intervals, I would look at Casey, and wonder.

Do I want this kind of life, too?

Chapter Ten - Stephanie

It was inexplicable. An impulse from the unexplored depths of being, like the driving urge to climb a mountain, or jump off a low cliff into deep blue water just because the opportunity was there.

But I had to try on the show clothes again. They were even more comfortable this time than they had been the first time.

I tucked in the shirt, just to double-check. My ass indeed looked wonderful in the jeans, still visible under the bottom of the biker jacket. I didn’t have the makeup anymore, but it still worked.

It felt good, if not entirely natural, still one up on my office clothes, which felt neither comfortable nor natural, and were just something I wore because I was told to. I was honestly beginning to see the attraction for people like Jonna and Ragnar. Even if Varg’s look seemed a bit over the top.

Urged by curiosity, I went to my computer and, with little trouble, found the Suspicious Activity Records website. Loki’s Laugh was there of course, listed as a ‘coming soon.’

They’d started playing new songs live which I figured were from the new album. Going further down the drop menu, I found other names, some of which I recognized in passing and others I didn’t know at all. Dante Street Massacre and, of course, Autumn Corrosion rang a bell.

There were a number of others that were complete new to me. In my newfound spirit of discovery, I downloaded everything of theirs I could get, their listings joining Loki’s Laugh on my account.

And as I pressed play, I reached into my purse and drew out my other impulse of the day and ripped open the cardboard box.

It was a hunch, but certainty was better than worry. The first album playing in my wireless headphones, I headed to the bathroom.

The time it took for the result was almost as nerve wracking as the time I had to take an STD test ‘just in case’ after an incident with a faulty condom. Finally, the answer came, as clear as it was confusing.

Positive.

I was positively pregnant with Ragnar’s baby.

Elation and terror clashed like opposing armies, neither with the obvious upper hand, the battlefield choked with smoke and blood. The music in my ears the perfect soundtrack for the strange film unspooling in my head.

Reality bit, and it was time to make a decision.

My phone pinged and I groaned, not in the mood to deal with anyone right now, my mind racing.

“Really?” I asked out loud to myself.

Pausing the song, I switched to the message to see what it could be about, and my heart pounded when I saw his name.

Ragnar: Want to meet for lunch?

My thumb moved by itself as I tapped out my reply. Only four little letters, back lit on the screen, four letters that could change everything forever.

Me: Okay.

The waist of my skirt suddenly seemed to pinch more than usual. There were all identical, so I couldn’t blame the individual garment. It felt like I had expanded, even though it was impossible.

It hadn’t been that long since Ragnar must have knocked me up, but imagination is a powerful thing.

I was honestly surprised it could be tested for so soon. Yet, there it was, in blue and white. I rubbed my belly again, even thought there was no real change, not yet.

Pat didn’t try to be cheerful as I signed in. Something about my demeanor must have let him know it was best not to. Fair enough, considering I felt— and most likely looked— like absolute hell.

Stress can do that to you.

“Ms. Morris?”

Maddie knocked on the half open door, afraid to come in without invitation. I checked to see if I suddenly had snakes growing out of my head.

“Come in, Maddie.”

She was carrying a large sample box, which could only mean one thing. Fawn had come through. Just in time.

“The samples from Ms. Birch have arrived.”

“That’s great, just put them, on my desk.”

Obeying my instruction, Maddie was gone again, closing the office behind her. The habit I’d gotten her into within week of her starting.

The pieces were beautiful. Exactly the number I’d asked for lined up separate rows, a name marker attached above each of the sections. They were exceptionally good suggestions I was sure would fit the line well.

Too bad it wasn’t really up to me. Even as Artistic Director