Close Range Christmas by Nicole Helm (ebook reader for laptop TXT) 📗

good sleep in a quiet room was just what she needed. Especially since no one would let her do anything.

But it would require the endless trek up the stairs. Sarah looked up the staircase. Never in her life had it looked so gigantic. May as well have been Mount Everest.

She could go doze on the recliner in the living room, but with so many people coming and going it wouldn’t be very restful. It also wasn’t the image she wanted to present right now. She didn’t want people to see her tired or worn out—they’d worry about the drive time to the hospital and anything else.

No, better to do the resting in her own room.

Still, she stood at the bottom of the stairs, grimacing, and wishing there was any other option.

She heard footsteps behind her, turned to see Dev step into the hallway. He still had his coat on, though it was unzipped, plus a stocking hat and gloves.

“You okay?”

Sarah let out a hefty sigh. “I want to take a nap. My bed is very far away.”

He seemed to consider this, then started walking toward her. “Come on,” he grumbled. He made a move like he was going to take her arm, but in the end he just kept walking, passed her and then went into the short hallway that led to his room.

Growing up it had been a laundry room, but after Dev’s accident he hadn’t been able to use the stairs for quite some time so his brothers had renovated the room into a bedroom.

She imagined he could move upstairs now, but he hadn’t.

He pointed at his bed—which was made. An odd detail to notice, but she never made her bed. Then again Duke hadn’t been a stickler for household cleanliness like Grandma Pauline was.

“Knock yourself out.”

“You’re going to let me sleep in your bed?”

“Yeah. Why not?”

An excellent question. It wasn’t a big deal or anything all that amazing—but the idea of crawling into his bed had her thinking about an intimacy she didn’t have with him.

You’ve slept together.

But not in one of their beds. Not even in one of their houses. It had been in a hotel room and she barely remembered it.

He won’t be in bed with you now. Get a grip.

Right. “Well, what are you going to do?”

He pulled a drawer open and grabbed a pair of thick socks. “Told Tuck I’d let him borrow a pair since he’s a moron who stepped in a giant puddle. Just getting these to take back out to him. Lots of chores to do.”

So he was doing chores with Tuck. Which was good. No one was going off on their own.

And it was weird standing in his room with him. “Well, thanks for the bed.”

He shrugged. “No problem. Door doesn’t lock but I’ll let everyone know so they don’t bother you.”

“Oh, don’t do that. I don’t want them thinking I need a nap.”

“But you do need a nap.”

“I don’t need one. I want one because nobody will let me do anything. But if they’re worried I’m too tired or whatever it starts the move-me-to-town discussion all over again.”

“It isn’t such a terrible idea.”

She frowned up at him. “See?”

“It’s a good thirty miles to the hospital from here. If the roads are bad when you’re in labor...”

“I’ve discussed that with my doctor, Dev. She wasn’t concerned. First-time labor is rarely fast, and so far my contractions are sporadic at worst.”

“Well, we’ll see what she says next week, won’t we?” His expression changed as she massaged her side. She wasn’t feeling any contractions, just a general ache of her stomach being stretched to capacity.

His expression now was like the expression he’d gotten on his face when he’d started saying Anth wouldn’t beat them. A determination and fire she couldn’t remember seeing in him since he’d been a teenager. It made her heart do wild windmills in her chest.

“I could come with,” he said after a long while.

“To my doctor’s appointment?”

“Yeah.”

The cartwheeling died because it was no kind offer. It wasn’t about wanting to be a part of it. “You just want to make sure I don’t lie about what the doctor says.”

He held her gaze, so serious and...direct. “No.”

“Then why?” Sarah demanded. She wasn’t falling for it. She knew him well enough to know this was all about having his way. Not about...what she wanted it to be about.

“Listen. If we settle things with Anth—”

“When we beat him, you mean.”

“Sure, whatever. I’m just saying, if there’s no danger and everything is settled—”

“Everything will be settled. No ifs about it.”

Dev scrubbed his hands over his face. “Why do you have to be so infuriating?”

“It’s only infuriating because I’m right. Maybe you should just defer to me more often.”

He snorted. “Like you’d want that. You live for an argument.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I would.”

“Seems to me that you’re the one arg—”

“Would you shut up and let me say my piece before I change my mind?”

Sarah was surprised into silence if only because for as often as Dev got annoyed with her, argued and bickered with her, he rarely ever snapped in this way. A loss of temper. As if he was actually letting himself care.

“All right,” she said, some odd mixture of anxiety and hope twining around her heart like a vise.

“You weren’t totally off base about the guilt complex things and the less-than-my-brothers thing. I know I’m not as good as my brothers. I figure that’s just fact, and you can close your big mouth and not argue with me for once so I can finish what I’m trying to say.”

She snapped her mouth shut, though it took some willpower not to defend him to himself. Still, he was addressing a thing she’d said—a real, emotional, important thing. And that was some kind of amazing progress.

“But I’m not my father. I don’t want to hurt anyone, and... Grandma was right. I’ve been thinking about my role in this whole thing selfishly. Who I am and what I am, but what Cecilia