Her Reluctant Husband by Erica Marselas (summer beach reads txt) 📗

after years of therapy, I still can’t shake off the demons that haunt over me. Therapy managed to keep me alive and find new ways to handle the all consuming hurt I felt, but the dreams remain, looming over me, haunting my subconscious and giving me no place to run.

Sleeping pills are useless…making the dreams that haunt me harder to wake from. There's nothing like feeling trapped with the boogeyman chasing after you.

I can't seem to ever find peace. No matter how hard I try.

I'm so fucking tired. 

Now, today I'm going to get married and what should be a happy day just feels like another part of my nightmare starting as I wait for Alex to destroy what is left of me. I know Liz wants to finally set the record straight between us, but how can I when he won’t listen to me? He’s convinced I’m the bad guy and everyone else can do no wrong.

I stare up to the starry sky, begging Liz for some answers or ways I’m going to break through Alex’s hard shell—anything to show me how I'm going to do this—when the screen door slams closed.

Alex steps next to me, his pajama pants hanging low and he's showing off his perfectly sculpted chest.

Maggie was right, he has gotten thicker over the years. Like where was that six pack five years ago?

I will not stare. I will not. 

"What are you doing?" Alex grumbles, rubbing his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep," I mumble and glance down at our bare feet.

"You were up all night yesterday too."

I'm surprised he even noticed.

"Why are you up?" I ignore his statement and cross my arms over my chest.

Deflecting. Something I’ve become quite good at over the years. 

"Old house. It’s hard not to hear everything and I heard the doors closing. Thinking of running?"

"No.” I’m tired of running. “I just need fresh air so maybe I could try to sleep again. Didn't mean to wake you."

"I can't sleep right now anyway." He plops down in the porch swing and it creaks as he rocks back and forth. "We're really doing this, aren't we?"

"We are."

"Just so you know, I have a real job that I will be going back to on Monday. So if you can do me a favor and not be so loud when you wake up, that would be great."

"You mean the job where your PA spends the day blowing you. Seems like real hard work."

He chuckles darkly. "That really bothered you, didn't it?"

"And let me guess, you get some sick thrill from it?"

The corners of his lips tip up in an amused smirk. "Maybe I do. I'm just trying to figure out if it’s because it’s Whitney or if any woman would get you all cranky."

"You know how I felt about Whitney."

“Oh, I do.” He smirks, looking damn proud.

It's like he picked the woman I despise most in the world to fuck, to get off on his hate for me through her.

Not only was she a stuck-up bitch to me because she thought I got in her way with Alex, but she's Deacon's cousin. She helped feed his obsession with me. Once she locked me in a closet at a party at her house so Deacon could have his way with me. She did whatever Deacon wanted. Kept telling his lies and turned a blind eye to what was really going on.

Like most people in this town. I never understood what power Deacon had over people or what charm he had, but people loved him while I feared him.

Deacon, in his own creepy way, loved me. He started off nice—at one point I trusted him because he was Alex’s friend—but as soon as Alex left and he got permission to watch over me, something sinister flipped in him. I became his pet. His little sweetcheeks. His dark obsession. I wish I knew what it was about me he wanted and why he kept coming back to me.

To deal, I found solace in alcohol and partying to escape. And though I sobered up, thanks to Kathleen, everyone still saw me as the reckless girl destroying her life after her dad died. It was much more than that though. I was trying to destroy my life to run away from the horrors I faced every day with Deacon.

"I remember one time you referred to her as a nasty bitch."

"People change." He shrugs, but he can't even make eye contact or keep a straight face with me as he says it. He knows it’s a lie. She’s still a bitch. Just an easy one.

I snort and rest my elbows on the wooden rails. “No. They don’t.” Especially not her.

“I already promised you I wouldn't do anything with her. I don't go back on my word no matter how much I want to fight you on it. Either take it or leave it."

"Does she know it's us getting married?"

"Does it matter?"

That means he’s told her. Fuck! I close my eyes tightly and suck in a deep breath as my heart thumps in my chest. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide this forever, but I was hoping it would be for longer than a day. Get yourself together, June.

Deacon isn't here.

At least not now.

So, he can’t hurt me.

Just only in my dreams.

"Hey, are you alright?" Alex's hands land on my shoulders. “You’re trembling.”

"I'm good." I step back, which makes his hands fall away from me. For once, he looks genuinely concerned. "I'm going to get some coffee."

"It’s two in the fucking morning. Why don't you just go back to bed?"

If only it were that simple. There is no way my mind is going to rest knowing Whitney is aware of our nuptials.

"I’ll be alright. Nothing I