Titan: A LitRPG Adventure (UnderVerse Book 4) by Jez Cajiao (beach books .txt) 📗

“Well, it turns out you’d fit under the bed great, and that would mean your mouth would be at just the right height…” I hinted, grinning, before she laughed, cutting me off.

“I knew it! I knew you’d have something dirty in mind!” She laughed. “Well, tough! It’s not fair, as I want some of the fun too!” She gestured to the Alchemy set I was pulling out and setting up. “Besides, if I put my mouth to work properly, you think you’d be able to concentrate on your work?” she asked, and I shrugged.

“Not sure, but in the interests of science, I’m willing to experiment and find out!” I offered, raising my eyebrows suggestively.

“No, especially not if you’re using acids and poisons, not to mention boiling substances… You might spill some on my head, and then I might bite down after all, and that’s the last thing we want!” I winced in imagined pain at her very logical point. “Besides, I think we have a hand to regrow?” she offered, and I nodded.

“I’ll certainly not refuse,” I stated, lifting my stump. “How bad do you think it’s going to be?”

“Not good,” Oracle responded, frowning at the arm. “With the Genetic Drift, it’ll be easier. though. At least, because your genes know you should have an intact arm, it’s essentially providing the power to your body to do its own work, rather than having to learn regrowth from scratch.”

“Okay, so…”

“So, lie down, but take your armor off first!” Oracle said quickly, as I started to lie down. I sighed and climbed back to my feet, then stripped down to my regular pants and tunic, grimacing all over again at the state of them.

Between the stabbings, the fireballs, the loss of my lower arm, the various people and creatures that had managed to bleed on me, and the filth I’d ended up being dragged through several times over, I was essentially wearing rags. Filthy ones, at that.

I looked at Oracle and sighed in resignation at the look on her face, as I made sure the door was closed before stripping off entirely, and not for fun.

It was a struggle at times, but once I was fully naked, and my gear was stacked out of the way, I summoned a fountain of clean, crisp, and oh-so-cold water, and began scrubbing myself.

It was difficult, not least because, with only one arm, cleaning my right-hand side was awkward, and also because I had a Wisp that had grown to full size, who was perched naked on the wall, somehow managing to make it look totally natural while she sat on thin air, and made constant comments and lewd suggestions about what we were going to do once all the potions were made.

The combination of icy cold water and a ridiculously hot wisp meant that I was distracted as all hell, and therefore missed the knock on the door.

If there ever was one.

Instead, Grizz simply walked in, followed by Lydia and the rest of the squad, just as I looked to be doing a naked squat over a jet of ice water, and was in mid-swing of the willy-copter at Oracle.

Grizz burst out laughing. Lydia about-turned and covered Merin’s eyes, marching her backwards. Yen froze, unsure as to where to look, and Jian sighed and followed Merin back out. Tang just shook his head and wandered over to lean against the wall, and Bane threw a cloth at me.

“Honestly, can’t you just be normal for five minutes?” Bane questioned me, looking, and sounding for all the world like I was some sort of degenerate.

“I was having a wash!” I retorted, catching the cloth, and cutting the fountain out, as I tried to cover myself up.

“Yeah. Looked like it,” Bane replied dryly, shaking his head as though ashamed to know me.

“Looks like I know why the researchers in the room below you were getting soaked, though!” Jian called from outside the door. “Are you decent yet, or should we take Merin somewhere else?”

“Hey, if she’s too young to see this, then it doesn’t say much for you, mate!” I called out to him, before sighing and moving to my bags.

I rummaged around, ignoring the comments on what a pretty behind I had, and quickly pulled some pants on, before sighing and looking around the room.

“So, anyone want to tell me why you decided to join me in here?” I asked, and Lydia coughed, still trying not to look at me.

“Soween told us that this room had been cleared for use as a general sleeping room, and seeing as it’s the early hours…” Lydia explained.

“You’ve got to be kidding me? Soween?” I asked Oracle, and she shrugged.

“Either she decided it’d be funny, got confused, or wanted to make sure you didn’t relax too much,” Oracle guessed.

“Soween, confused?” I pondered, before shaking my head. “Nope, don’t see that one. She’s insanely focused.”

“Then I’m betting she thought it’d be funny; remember, she spends all of her time with Mal, so she’s got to be twisted in some way.” Oracle pointed out, and I sighed.

“Okay, look guys.” I called out, making sure those in the corridor could hear me as well. “I was actually having a wash, that’s all, and the reason this room is so clean is because I needed it like that for Alchemy. If you all want to sleep in here, that’s fine. It’s a bit cramped for us all, but we’ve all slept in worse places. Be warned, though; I’m going to be doing a few hours of potion making, so there are going to be some noxious smells, okay?”

“More so than normal, you mean?” Tang quipped, and I glared at him.

“That’s it. No moustache rides for you!”

“Promises, promises…” Tang sighed, before shooting me a grin. “Okay everyone, let’s check the next room out, see if its clean. If it is, we can bunk in there. If not, we get to share with Stinky, there.”

“Hey, I had a wash, remember?” I growled,