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cannot handle certain subjects, then this is not a book you’ll want to read.

CHECK OUT THE PLAYLIST THAT HELP CREATE FUSE’S HOLD!

Sober – Bad Wolves

Just Hold On – Adam Calhoun & Savannah Dexter

Maybe It’s Time – Sixx: A.M.

Leave Me Alone – Tyler Braden

Scarlet Letters – Mudvayne

Trust Issues – Wess Nyle & Hard Target

Shootout – Young Gunner & Alston Webb

Savage – Savannah Dexter

Life – Jelly Roll

Throw Another Stone – Savannah Dexter

The Heart Wants What It Wants – Selena Gomez

Bad At Love – Halsey

HOLD ON

Water crashing through me

Pain consumes me

Everything hurts

Nothing is worth holding on for

The darkness seeps in

The pain is excruciating

Sleep overtakes me

Nothing can hold me back

I’m falling deep

Spiraling into the depths

No light for me to hold on to

Pain is all I know

The darkness is welcome

Nowhere for me to grasp hold of

I’m tired of holding on

I wish more than anything

To have someone hold on

Instead of me gasping for air

My world has crashed and burned

Nothing for me to hold on to

The darkness seeps

But the light will come

If only I can hold on

Even for a moment

One breath at a time

One heartbeat after another

~ E.C. Land

Prologue

Lyrica

Time has no meaning to me as I try to stay awake. This time around, there’s no way I can stop it. If only I could.

Days of dreaming of him coming are long gone. They made sure I lost those thoughts a long time ago. I don’t even know how long they’ve held me. I’m nothing more to them than a toy to play with. I lost any status of worth shortly after they stole me away.

When I close my eyes, I’m no longer able to see the man who I pretend to loathe. No, I’d fallen in love with him a long time ago.

I can remember the day I met him and knew my heart no longer belonged to me. Maybe that’s why I’m still alive rather than having taken my life. Wait, no, that’s not true because I have tried. I tried twice before they learned to keep things away from me. I’d even taken the life of one of the men.

It had been this man’s life, I’m now waiting to be sentenced to death for. This is after they’d already beaten me so badly, I cannot walk or move.

Behind closed lids, even though it hurts, I try to draw up images in my head to remember the only time in my life that I’d been happy. Didn’t matter if he didn’t want me. I thought he did at first but learned quickly he didn’t. He’d wanted to put me in the friend zone. That wasn’t going to happen, so I’d started ignoring him completely. He didn’t take to that and now I regret I didn’t fight for what I wanted, him.

Then there’s the little girl who I’d protected by allowing those vile men to do degrading things to my body. But to keep that beautiful girl safe from their clutches, I did them. I didn’t want to. Lord knows I didn’t; however, there’s that saying about doing anything to protect a child even if they aren’t yours.

I wish I could go home. If I were to die, I’d love nothing more than to go home one last time. Say what I needed for many things.

Still, none of these things will happen. I know this and know I’ll have to die with these regrets.

The door opens to my cell and I don’t even bother to move when I hear the fast-pacing movements. I don’t listen to the sound of their voices. I’m doing everything I can to block it all out as I wait for my impending death.

Killing Allen, the second in command to the men here, wasn’t a good idea, but he’d left himself open for it when he’d passed out without chaining me to a bed while drunk. He also shouldn’t have left his knife lying there on a table after using it on me. My body is still covered in the dried blood of that night two nights ago.

Leonard, the head of these men, ordered I be beat to near death and left in my cell without food or water. He wasn’t done with me. For the last god knows how long he himself has taken me more times than I can count. His mission in breeding me never working. He and his men have kept blaming me for not getting pregnant. I’d been deemed infertile at some point and switched to nothing but a toy for them all to take advantage of.

Now with Allen dead, Leonard isn’t happy with me and I’m to die. Whether at one of their hands or from the beating I’d taken. Whichever came first.

My hope in someone coming for me died a long time ago. It’s not going to happen. I’m sure Fuse was more than happy to wash his hands of me. No matter how much that thought hurts.

Even still, if I were rescued at this point, I’m not worth anyone wanting. Let alone want anyone near me.

I simply want to die in peace and finally no longer be in any form of pain.

The stomping of rushing feet comes to a stop near me and I don’t move a muscle. Not that I could, really.

“Motherfucker,” a man growls. His voice is a new one and I wait for him to start hurting me.

“Shit. Tell me we at least got one of those fuckers,” another one sneers.

“Place is deserted, Prez. They must have been tipped off,” yet another man says.

“Fuck. This shit isn’t good. We need to get her help. Quake, go get a blanket. We’re gonna need it,” the second voice says. One set of feet move, then another set. These come in my direction.

“You gonna call Chains so he can inform Fuse, Prez?” the first voice asks.

“We’ll do that after we get her somewhere safe,” the second man says, this one being the Prez, I think.

A touch of a hand rolling me to my back has me whimpering in

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