Fatal Sight (Harbingers Of Death Book 2) by LeAnn Mason (universal ebook reader txt) 📗

a break, some distance. He’d told them to all work together, and there he was, similarly being a piss-poor part of the team. How could he help them when he couldn’t even hold himself together? “I’m going to get some air. Take a break, all of you. In your own rooms. I don’t want to hear about any fights while I’m gone.”

The god whirled and stalked out of the room, not stopping until he’d passed onto the back balcony and could breathe in the fresh mountain air, relieved at the touch of pine and floral perfume sinking into his lungs. He took several breaths while his hands pressed into the wood railing to keep steady as his eyes drifted shut.

It was funny. Aria’s shrieks had never grated on his nerves, but now, the slightest raising of a voice, and it raised his hackles in an instant. He was on edge, irritable, moody, and unfit to be captain at the moment.

Perhaps it was he who should have been sent away, not Aria.

“Boss?”

Seke’s forehead drifted onto the backs of his hands. “I requested that you go to your rooms.”

Ember’s arm brushed against his as she joined him at the railing. “Yeah, but I’m not the one who needs space.”

“No, I do,” he said pointedly.

“You think you do. But you’re wrong.”

Seke raised his head, surprised that Ember would speak to him so bluntly and defy his orders.

“What you need is not to be alone.”

Startled, Seke stared, wondering if she knew about his dreams, that he missed his quiet sessions in the library with the banshee.

The phoenix wasn’t looking at him; she was admiring the view. Too short to brace her elbows on the railing and keep her toes on the deck, she’d jumped up, leaning on her forearms so her legs swung a little bit as she observed the forest surrounding their bunker. “Alone, we have nothing but our thoughts,” the phoenix commented. “And it is our thoughts that can be our greatest enemy. Particularly after losing someone.”

Seke swallowed, pushing Aria from his thoughts. Jessica was an immense loss, but somehow it was Aria who kept shifting to the fore of his mind, perhaps because her departure wasn’t as final, leaving him unsteady, contemplating whether he should retract it…

He recalled that the phoenix had lived a long time — not as long as him but many, many lives and many, many losses. They’d met after one such loss. She’d joined the Harbingers to find some distraction, she’d told him. She needed to keep busy.

“The last time I lost someone,” Ember started, “I spent a decade on an island far, far away from any human or supe.” She lifted her head to watch the clouds. “It was beautiful, peaceful, quiet. It was hell.”

Seke remained quiet, listening.

“Without anyone to comfort me, to talk me through my suffering, to remind me that there was more to live for, I was left alone with my memories, which were just that. I would have no new interactions with... that person. And my thoughts... they sent me in a spiral.” She turned to pin him with her fiery gaze. “I tried to end it. Several times. Of course, you know the result of that.” She smiled sadly and gave a visual shrug since she couldn’t move her shoulders. “I came back.” She turned back to nature. “They didn’t. It’s hardest on those of us who remain alive while others are gone. That’s why I joined you, ya know.” She swung to the side to bump Seke with a shoulder. “I wanted to understand death, come to terms with it.”

Ah, not just find a distraction.

“I didn’t really get that. It’s still a horrible thing to lose someone. But I found something else that helped me process. A family. Now, I have a family who can help me see that there are still others who need me, who can support me, for whom it’s worth living.”

Seke hung his head in shame. He’d been ignoring his current team while he lamented those who were gone. “I’m sorry. You deserve a stronger captain.”

“No,” Ember hopped down and turned to face him, hands on her hips. “That’s not what I’m saying. I’m not saying that you should be supporting us, you dope.”

Seke blinked at the insult but didn’t reprimand her. Not right now. She was right, he wasn’t himself; he deserved the rebuke.

She stepped up and wrapped the god in a tight hug before he could react. “I’m saying that we’re here for you,” she said in a muffled voice into his abdomen. “Together, we get through this. Isn’t that what you said? That we needed to be a team?”

The god looked down at the spiked red hair, thoroughly humbled and put in his place. “Yes.” His arms came around the woman in return, and he welcomed the warmth and security her embrace was building in him. “Yes, I did.”

“Good.” Ember snapped back up as if nothing had happened. “Now, pull yourself together, and get back in there because Cole and Raven need us.”

A soft smile pulled at Seke’s lips. “Yes, boss.”

Ember gave a solemn nod. “Good.” Then, she turned and marched back inside, leaving Seke chuckling after her. Their phoenix was a fierce one.

His smile fell a bit, and he sighed. It was going to take time to let go of Jessica... and Aria. But Ember was right. He needed to. She’d said that the team was there for him, but he was the captain. He needed to be a solid base with Jessica’s passing.

And because of that, he couldn’t be distracted by his feelings for one of them.

It was good, he decided, that Aria had left. His feelings for her had been growing to an inappropriate level. He recalled that moment in the gym that she’d been hovering over him, and he’d forgotten himself. He’d let his hands drift to her body, and it had taken several minutes for him to pull back from her intoxicating kiss. It was only the fear