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him or her. But try to make your vocation or avocation in life fit what you suspect is appropriate to his or her Lovemap. For example, perhaps you sense your new Quarry wants a lover of high professional status. Make your job sound as important as possible.

Perhaps your new PLP exudes libertarian qualities.

Highlight the freedom aspect of your work. He or she is a workaholic? Underscore your dedication to your job and talk about how many hours you, too, put in.

When you grasp what type of Quarry you have in your trap, feed her the lines you think she'd like to hear about your work.

Number 2: "I Love My Job."

Everyone is drawn to confident, enthusiastic people.

Women especially want a man to be confident in himself.

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Once I was writing an article for a men's magazine on what qualities women look for in a man. Instead of turning to psychotherapists and studies, I simply asked all my girlfriends, "What qualities do you most look for in a man?" Their answer? Overwhelmingly, the big turn-on was confidence. "I like a man to be confident," one of my girlfriends said. "He can be a turkey—but if he's a confident turkey, it's OK."

Men, too, like a confident woman. Often, after my buddy Phil has a date, I'll ask, "How was it? Did you like her?" Phil, the typical alingual male when discussing relationships, usually just mutters, "Oh, it was OK."

"Did youlikeher, Phil?" "Well, sure, but I probably won't see her again." "Why not?" "Well, she just didn't seem to have her life together."

In other words, she didn't have a clear and confident sense of direction about her life. Men often make that complaint about particular women.

The next time an attractive stranger turns to you and asks, "And what do you do?" make sure your answer exudes joy and confidence about your nine-to-five life.

Number 3: "Let's Keep Talking."

Say you've just met the possible love of your life.

You've just said, "I'm a secretary," "I'm an attorney,"

or "I'm a nuclear physicist."

Well, that's nice.Now what does he say? Your one-word answer to "What do you do?" will probably leave him tongue-tied. What do you ask a nuclear physicist? "Uh, gee, what have you nuked lately?"

Never just say the name of your job and let your Quarry conversationally sink. Throw him some introductory bait he can nibble on so the conversation doesn't die of starvation.

You're a lawyer? Instead of just saying "I'm an attorney," expand on it. Say, for example, "I'm an attorney. Our firm specializes in employment law. In fact, now I'm involved in a case

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where a woman was actually discharged for becoming pregnant and taking some time off work."

Now you've given your catch some conversational bait. If you don't, he may swim quickly away in search of people to talk to where he feels more clever.

Sooner or later another question that Attractive Stranger will ask you is "Where are you from?" Do more than just drop a one-word piece of geography in his lap. Prepare an interesting little hook about your hometown.

For example, I'm originally from Washington, D.C.

When asked, I tell people that, when I was growing up, there were seven women to every man because of the influx of female government workers. (A good reason to get out, right?) With a more artistic Quarry, I tell him Washington was designed by the same city planner who designed Paris. That increases the conversational options from just Washington to city planning to Paris. The more you throw out, the better conversational hit rate you get with your new Quarry.

TECHNIQUE #14:

NUTSHELL RESUME

Whatever you do in life, wherever you go, don't blow what could be the biggest audition of your life—

someone asking, "And what do you do?"

Prepare an answer that fits your Quarry's Lovemap, is upbeat and confident, and casts some tasty bait to keep the conversation going.

11

The Game Begins in Earnest

The dance of love begins in earnest as you contemplate a date with your new PLP

, but now the game is more dangerous. Starting with your first date, he or she looks at you through the eyes of an

Olympic judge. Everything you say and do can give you points or ruin your chances at the gold medal, your Quarry's heart. Love is even more hazardous than the Olympics because, if you fumble on the first date, you don't get a chance to compete again next time.

Olympic skaters study for years to achieve their dream, but when they are performing, their moves appear instinctive and seemingly effortless. That's how you should appear as you build your relationship—casual and relaxed. Let me give you the scientifically proved right dating moves to win in the game of love. Study them, but when you are with your Quarry, let them become second nature so you can perform with star-quality smoothness.

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''How Soon Should I Make My Move?''

Whenever one of my actress friends tells me she got the part, I can always tell from the degree of delight in her voicehowshe got it.

In the theater there is a custom calledtypecasting . It means getting cast in a movie or play just because you look the part. The traditional procedure for getting a role is going to an audition. If the producers like you, they invite you to a callback for a second audition. For big shows, there can be a third or fourth callback before getting hired.

Actors and actresses like to feel directors cast them because of their theatrical talent, not just because they looked the part. When it comes to love, people feel the same way. . . especially women.

Question: How soon after meeting your Quarry should you pop the question, "Will you go out with me?" Answer:Not until your Quarry feels he or she hasearnedyour interest.

Gentlemen, let the attractive woman tell you of her extraordinary business acumebnefore you suggest lunch to talk about collaboration (i.e., ask her for a date). Ladies, let him tell you how much dead wood he's slashed while hacking and slashing his way through the corporate jungblefore

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