Lycan Christmas by S. Yule (best contemporary novels txt) 📗

the predator lurked in him, or the way he kept control over it when it got too close to the surface. She’d seen the way he’d watched her when he thought she wasn’t looking, and if 53

Lycan Christmas

S. K. Yule

she wasn’t mistaken, friendship had been the furthest thing from his mind as well. Yet at every turn, he closed down around her, refused to let her get too close.

But all that could be between them was friendship. While she was fairly certain she was capable of feeling more for him, she wasn’t for him. Someday he would find his mate, and where would that leave her? Or, someday she might find her mate, and where would that leave him? She imagined the hurt she might feel from his rejection, and she never wanted to inflict such hurt on him either.

She couldn’t fathom falling in love with someone only to have them walk away at some point for someone else. While she understood that a force of nature like fate might not give him or her a choice in the matter if one or the other’s soul mate were to happen along, she couldn’t come to terms with giving someone her heart only for them to reject it, no matter the reason.

Lorent was a man any woman would be lucky to have, and if she allowed herself to do so, she’d fall hard for him, but did she want to risk subjecting her heart to the pain of him possibly leaving her?

She’d only known him for a short time, but she could see beneath his shy exterior enough to know he was a kind man by nature. She could see him capable of that fierce, but tender love most women only dreamed about. If Lorent ever gave his heart to someone, it would be a forever thing, and she didn’t wish to put him in a situation where he might have to choose between loyalty and his soul mate.

Yet, she’d feel the same way. If she gave her heart to Lorent, she couldn’t imagine ever walking away from him for any reason, even her soul mate.

Could she hurt him like that? And if she chose to turn her back on her soul mate, the decision would forever remain a lurking shadow of doubt between them. No. It was best if she didn’t let her feelings go beyond friendship. She had to be careful, but she did want to be there for him.

He was a walking contradiction. On one hand, he was open with her about basic things like nature, reading, and cooking, and displayed genuine concern for her feelings, yet he didn’t seem to know how to open up or share 54

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anything personal about himself. He wanted her to do those things, but closed down in return.

“I, um . . .” He cleared his throat and tugged gently at his hand, then frowned when she refused to relinquish her hold on him.

“If you honestly don’t want me to touch you, tell me. I’ll understand.”

“It’s not that. I just, well, it’s—” He blew out an agitated puff of air that bounced his bangs off his forehead before they settled back into a tousled fringe.

She’d never seen someone look as torn over a simple question. Just because it seems simple to you, doesn’t mean it’s simple to him. True. She tried to live her life without casting judgment on others from her own personal experiences.

Everyone was different, and reacted to things in different ways.

“Never mind.” She released her grip on him, and started to pull her hands back when he stopped her. She jumped, startled at the sudden change in him.

His fingers loosely circled her wrist, and his skin was at least three shades darker than her own. The contrast made her appear even paler. Dark hair sprinkled lightly along the back of his hand and fingers, and she wondered how it would feel if he were to brush them against her. She imagined the hairs would feel soft but springy, and maybe even tickle her a bit.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to touch me.” His words were quiet, almost a gravelly whisper, and she had to lean closer to hear him. “I’m not supposed to get too close to you. I’m required to protect you, but there are certain rules, and—”

“Lorent, I would never intentionally do anything that might get you in trouble, but surely those rules can’t say that you are never allowed to touch anyone.”

“No. They don’t say that, but you are a”—he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them once again—“destined mate.”

The conflict that burned in his hazel eyes made her chest squeeze around her heart. Did he yearn for his mate? Did it bother him to be around her knowing she was meant for someone else? She leaned even closer, 55

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mesmerized, drawn in by those hazel pools. “A destined mate can still be a friend to one who is not her mate, can she not?”

Was that her voice? It was husky, almost sexy. She had to lick her suddenly dry lips, and when his eyes dropped to her mouth, she caught a brief glow of light in them. He leaned closer, and now they were only a couple inches apart.

“Yes, but—”

“Why do your eyes do that?”

“Do what?”

They were so close she could feel his hot breath on her face as he spoke, smell him—a blend of wild and woodsy she found quite appealing. “Glow.”

“It’s a reaction to any heightened emotion.”

His thumb was now moving slowly back and forth over the back of her hand. She doubted he realized what he was doing, and she wasn’t going to tell him because she liked his touch. It would be easy to kiss him. His lips were so close. All she’d have to do was lean in that last inch.

“Does that mean you like me, Lorent?”

He