Tarashana by Rachel Neumeier (best novels to read for students .TXT) 📗

but Hokino, also in that place, had stopped him. I was very glad Hokino was there. I trusted him not to let this terrible problem become any more of a disaster than it was already.

For that breath or two, Aras had not answered. But now, perhaps realizing that no one was going to kill him immediately, he bowed his head a little more deeply and spoke. “Yes,” he said, very softly, not looking up. “It happened as you say. I did not intend to do that, o king. In the first moment, I did not even realize I had done it.”

That hardly made anything better.

He knew that, and finally raised his gaze to meet Koro’s hard stare. He lifted his hands as well, palm upward, in the gesture that asks for mercy. “I apologize, o king. I am ... I realize this was a terrible insult. I think I must have been ... all the things that have happened have been very difficult. I think I must have been far more upset than I realized. I know this does not excuse the act. I know there can be no excuse. I beg your pardon.”

Koro did not look away from him. “You used this kind of sorcery against Ryo inGara for a reason you considered good. Then you did the same against the warleader of the inTasiyo for a different reason you also considered good. Once a man finds one reason and then another reason to break his oath, he may find many other reasons to do it that seem good to him.”

“Yes,” Aras said. Now he sounded very tired. He lowered his hands and spoke quietly, his head bowed. “I think that is true, o king, but I did not think the reason good when I did it to you. I did not think at all. I saw that you might decide to put me to death, and I ... I reacted without thinking.” Now he looked up again, meeting Koro's eyes. “I am horrified beyond measure to realize that this is something I can do so thoughtlessly. I am not accustomed to acting impulsively, and this ... I know it was an unforgivable offense. I do not ask you to forgive it, but I ask, I most earnestly ask, that you set it aside. But if you order my death, I will not defend myself by means of sorcery.”

“No?” said Koro.

“No. I swear I will not. I have ... I have set myself better now. I will not permit myself to do anything of that kind again. I am certain I will not do it. But I ask that you make a different decision. It is not necessary to put me to death. You are not obligated to do so. You are not my king, and such an act may offend him, so I ask you earnestly to make a different decision.”

“You think your king would judge your act differently?”

“I think ... my king would not take the matter lightly. I am not certain what judgment he might make. I ask you to permit him to make that judgment, whatever it may be.” Aras paused, looking at him closely. Then he said, “I understand it is impossible for you to make any decision now, or trust any decision you might make. There is a Tarashana medicine that will make me sleep. Ryo has some of this medicine. I suggest you use it. Then you will know that any decision you make and any act you choose will be yours alone.”

Koro said, “Ryo.”

I had not realized Aras knew I had brought some vials of the Tarashana medicine with me from the starlit country. I had not thought of that since I tucked those vials into my pack. But now I seized on this suggestion. I could not bear to leave him, even for a moment, lest something terrible happen while I was gone. I said, “Tano. My pack, in my mother’s tent. Three flasks, glass, each wrapped in cloth. One of those flasks will be enough.”

“Yes,” Tano whispered. He jumped to his feet and ran up the hill.

Koro did not watch him go. He continued to look only at Aras. His expression was unreadable. I could very easily imagine his thoughts. Aras, who did not have to imagine them, knelt very still, his head bowed again. Neither of them moved or spoke. No one moved or spoke.

In a very little time, Tano returned. He came to me and put a flask in my hands. A narrow spear of sunlight came between the clouds as I took it, lighting the glass as vividly as a lamp and the wine to a shade deeper and brighter than the color of rubies. I rose to my feet, came forward the few steps necessary, and gave the flask to Aras. Clouds crossed the face of the Sun as I put it into his hands, so that now the wine seemed as dark as blood.

He took the flask, and opened it, and paused, looking at me. He spoke to me in darau, quietly. “Ryo ... before I drink this, will you let me apologize?”

“Yes,” I said, equally quiet. “I will hear you now.”

“Ryo inGara, I apologize profoundly for my offense against you. No matter the exigency, it was unspeakably wrong of me to force my will on you. I knew that at the time and I know it now. Such an act does not deserve forgiveness. Nevertheless, I ask—I beg that you will forgive me.”

I touched the back of my hand lightly to his cheek in token of a blow. “I already forgave the act. Now I also forgive you. Should it come to that, I will pray the gods receive you kindly.”

He bowed his head. Then he looked up at Koro, switching back to taksu. “I apologize to you again, Koro inKarano. I deeply regret