No More Parades - Ford Madox Ford (the gingerbread man read aloud .TXT) 📗

It occurred to Tietjens as it occurred to him ten times a day that it was idiotic of him to figure Valentine Wannop to himself. He had not the slightest idea where she was: in what circumstances, or even in what house. He did not suppose she and her mother had stayed on in that dog-kennel of a place in Bedford Park. They would be fairly comfortable. His father had left them money. “It is preposterous,” he said to himself, “to persist in figuring a person to yourself when you have no idea of where they are.” He said to the man:

“Wouldn’t it do if you saw your mother at the camp gate, by the guardroom?”

“Not much of a leave-taking, sir,” the man said; “she not allowed in the camp and I not allowed out. Talking under a sentry’s nose very likely.”

Tietjens said to himself:

“What a monstrous absurdity this is of seeing and talking, for a minute or so! You meet and talk⁠ ⁠…” And next day at the same hour. Nothing⁠ ⁠… As well not to meet or talk⁠ ⁠… Yet the mere fantastic idea of seeing Valentine Wannop for a minute⁠ ⁠… She not allowed in the camp and he not going out. Talking under a sentry’s nose, very likely⁠ ⁠… It had made him smell primroses. Primroses, like Miss Wannop. He said to the sergeant-major:

“What sort of a fellow is this?” Cowley, in open-mouthed suspense, gasped like a fish. Tietjens said:

“I suppose your mother is fairly feeble to stand in the cold?”

“A very decent man, sir,” the sergeant-major got out, “one of the best. No trouble. A perfectly clean conduct sheet. Very good education. A railway engineer in civil life⁠ ⁠… Volunteered, of course, sir.”

“That’s the odd thing,” Tietjens said to the man, “that the percentages of absentees is as great amongst the volunteers as the Derby men or the compulsorily enlisted⁠ ⁠… Do you understand what will happen to you if you miss the draft?”

The man said soberly:

“Yes, sir. Perfectly well.”

“You understand that you will be shot? As certainly as that you stand there. And that you haven’t a chance of escape.”

He wondered what Valentine Wannop, hot pacifist, would think of him if she heard him. Yet it was his duty to talk like that: his human, not merely his military duty. As much his duty as that of a doctor to warn a man that if he drank of typhoid-contaminated water he would get typhoid. But people are unreasonable. Valentine too was unreasonable. She would consider it brutal to speak to a man of the possibility of his being shot by a firing party. A groan burst from him. At the thought that there was no sense in bothering about what Valentine Wannop would or would not think of him. No sense. No sense. No sense⁠ ⁠…

The man, fortunately, was assuring him that he knew, very soberly, all about the penalty for going absent off a draft. The sergeant-major, catching a sound from Tietjens, said with admirable fussiness to the man:

“There, there! Don’t you hear the officer’s speaking? Never interrupt an officer.”

“You’ll be shot,” Tietjens said, “at dawn⁠ ⁠… Literally at dawn.” Why did they shoot them at dawn? To rub it in that they were never going to see another sunrise. But they drugged the fellows so that they wouldn’t know the sun if they saw it: all roped in a chair⁠ ⁠… It was really the worse for the firing party. He added to the man:

“Don’t think I’m insulting you. You appear to be a very decent fellow. But very decent fellows have gone absent.” He said to the sergeant-major:

“Give this man a two-hours’ pass to go to the⁠ ⁠… whatever’s the name of the estaminet⁠ ⁠… The draft won’t move off for two hours, will it?” He added to the man: “If you see your draft passing the pub you run out and fall in. Like mad, you understand. You’d never get another chance.”

There was a mumble like applause and envy of a mate’s good luck from a packed audience that had hung on the lips of simple melodrama⁠ ⁠… an audience that seemed to be all enlarged eyes, the khaki was so colourless⁠ ⁠… They came as near applause as they dared, but there was no sense in worrying about whether Valentine Wannop would have applauded or not⁠ ⁠… And there was no knowing whether the fellow would not go absent, either. As likely as not there was no mother. A girl very likely. And very likely the man would desert⁠ ⁠… The man looked you straight in the eyes. But a strong passion, like that for escape⁠—or a girl⁠—will give you control over the muscles of the eyes. A little thing that, before strong passion! One would look God in the face on the day of judgement and lie, in that case.

Because what the devil did he want of Valentine Wannop? Why could he not stall off the thought of her? He could stall off the thought of his wife⁠ ⁠… or his not-wife. But Valentine Wannop came wriggling in. At all hours of the day and night. It was an obsession. A madness⁠ ⁠… What those fools called “a complex”!⁠ ⁠… Due, no doubt, to something your nurse had done, or your parents said to you. At birth⁠ ⁠… A strong passion⁠ ⁠… or no doubt not strong enough. Otherwise he, too, would have gone absent. At any rate, from Sylvia⁠ ⁠… Which he hadn’t done. Or hadn’t he? There was no saying⁠ ⁠…

It was undoubtedly colder in the alley between the huts. A man was saying: “Hoo⁠ ⁠… Hooo⁠ ⁠… Hoo⁠ ⁠…” A sound like that, and flapping his arms and hopping⁠ ⁠… “Hand and foot, mark time!” Somebody ought to fall these poor devils in and give them that to keep their circulations going. But they might not know the command⁠ ⁠… It was a Guards’ trick, really⁠ ⁠… What the devil were these fellows kept hanging about here for? he asked.

One or two voices said that they did not know. The majority said gutturally:

“Waiting for