The Long Dark by B.J. Farmer (important books to read .TXT) 📗

got when too much came at you at once, like a scar from a deep wound.

I growled a hoarse, “Don’t let her out of your sight, Avery!”

I turned towards Sam and asked him to help me move Titouan. He gave me a pained nod. We carried Titouan several yards away. We didn’t have anything to dig into the permafrost, so we mounded loose snow over top of him. It was undignified, but it was the best we could do. I wasn’t much for praying, but I stumbled over a silent prayer for him. The wind seemed to blow extra cold at that moment.

I turned away from the mound of snow. “Fuck!”

“Maybe he was goin ta die…” Sam put his hands on his hips. “Damn, son, I know I should hate her. The Lord knows I’m tryin.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know what ta do. We goin ta kill her?”

“She doesn’t deserve to live. Not after what she’s done.”

Sam winced. “We get a say in how it goes down?”

“You tell me?”

“I ain’t sure I know what ‘at means.”

“I mean can you make the decision that needs to be made, given how you feel about her?”

“I don’t know.” He stared a long while at the ground. “I just wont ta know we have ‘at option. I ain’t even sayin I wont ta make ‘at call. I just wont ta know I could have say in it.”

“That’s the point, though. You don’t want to make the call. Just say. What the hell does that even mean?”

“You are the most damn stubborn bastard I know. You know what I’m tryin ta say.”

“Sam, I just know she can’t go with us, and sure as hell can’t be part of us. Whether I leave her here to freeze to death or shoot her in the head, she’s dead.”

Sam stifled a sniffle and clumsily pawed at his exposed face. “I know. It just my feelins and all… I know.”

“Whether you believe it or not, I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

***

After several miles, I finally turned to face Tish. “Why did you kill Titouan?”

“Because I knew you were lying to me,” she said bluntly.

“So, you poisoned him?”

She shrugged.

I nearly fell out of my seat as Sam punched the accelerator. I fought for balance before placing my hand on Sam’s shoulder. There was an appreciable decrease in engine noise and g-force. “You were one of us.”

“I was never one of you,” she said without hesitation, but not averting her eyes away from the darkness that lay outside her window.

“To us, you were,” I said.

“To me, I wasn’t.”

“What now, girl, you suddenly Korean? How in the Sam Hill does ‘at work.”

“I know exactly who I am and what I stand for. Do you?”

“Jesus Humphrey Christ, Tish. You sure as hell ain’t no damn Korean.”

“America’s time of beating down, starving, and oppressing other countries is over. A great power is rising from the east, and it’s going to make the world a better place.”

“North Korea starves its own people,” Tish, I said.

“Propaganda. Your media and leaders lie to you.”

Sam was seething. “It’s all just fuckin stupid. I can’t believe you dumb ‘nough ta believe all ‘at.”

Curious about something, I asked, “Have you ever been to North Korea?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Tell William were you originally from, girl. Tell ‘im.” Sam paused for effect. After she didn’t answer, he said, “She’s from the ninth ward in New Olreans. North Korean my hairy ass.”

Seeing that Tish offered only a vacant look in reply to what Sam said, I asked, “How do you know what is and what’s not propaganda if you’ve never been there, much less lived there?”

“I said that’s none of your business.”

“How can you square this stuff?” I asked. “Weren’t we always kind to you?”

She thought about it for a moment. “Yes. But you elect leaders who oppress people – my people. There are North Koreans who are starving right now because of American policy. If you were good people, you couldn’t support leaders like you do.”

“That little short, fat sonofabitch who’s runnin ‘at shithole… you reckon he’s doin without anythang? You thank if he’ll let people who live ‘ere starve, that he’ll give one rat’s puckered-butthole ‘bout one who ain’t even been ‘ere? You been fooled.”

“Your president lives in the lap of luxury, is driven around in bulletproof limousines, flies in jets that cost who knows how many millions of dollars, yet there are millions of Americans who don’t get enough to eat. Your entire system is geared towards the wealthy, and everyone below the elites works like drones for them. Capitalism is evil. Your society is evil. All of you are evil. You have no room to talk.”

“Your brainwashed mind might not see the difference, but there’s a clear difference between our two countries,” I said.

Her tone sharpened. She was really getting into the rhetoric. “Sam’s right, I did grow up in Louisiana. You remember Katrina, right?”

She was looking at me, so I decided to respond. “Who doesn’t?”

“I saw white people carrying stuff out of stores. They didn’t end up on the news. All you saw on TV was black people carrying big-screen TVs and jumping up and down like idiots. It’s the same narrative that’s gone on since, well, a long time ago.”

“And that’s bad. No one claims we’re perfect.”

“You’re sugar-coating it.”

“No. I know things have--”

“You might not think I look Korean, but they’ve given me something to believe in and fight for. My family is Korean, though. So, I might not look like what you think I should, but that means absolutely nothing for me. I’ll die knowing exactly who I am.”

Sam busted out laughing. “Really? There’s some racist shit goin on in ’is country, and ‘cause of ‘at, it’s alright ta kill us and turn us in ta ‘em gray bastards? Ain’t a racist bone in ‘is ol’ boy’s body, but a damn racist don’t hold nothin on you murderin sonsofbitches.”

Chapter 4

“Anything you feel like saying?”

She continued staring out at the expanse of darkness that enveloped the Ripsaw. After