Legacy: Letters from eminent parents to their daughters by Menon, Sudha (books suggested by bill gates txt) 📗

woman and nothing could epitomize this more than your grandmother Subbalakshmi, fondly called Rajam, who came from Bombay as a bride into our large family in the year 1951. She was a graduate who was encouraged by your great grandfather Ganapathy Iyer to complete her Bachelor’s Degree in Education in Kolkata and became one of the most successful teachers of Mathematics and Sanskrit at the Bishop Westcott School in Namkum near Ranchi where both my sister and I completed our school education. She was the family’s pillar of strength, a willing ally to my father in all his activities, and, later on, his source of strength when his health slowly failed him. She was also the guiding parent for both my sister and I, helping us through school work, teaching me cricket and music, and encouraging all forms of curricular and extracurricular pursuits. You did have some experience of her wisdom and love during the years she stayed with us in Mumbai after your grandfather’s demise, so you know how much she pushed for strong values and excellence. She was an inspiration to all whose lives were touched by hers!

I learnt many lessons from the way my parents conducted their life and I think these lessons and values are applicable to future generations too.

My parents believed that you can never choose the hand that fate deals you but insisted that how you play the game determines whether you win or lose in the larger game of life. Shouldering responsibility cheerfully without regret or remorse is one of the abilities that separate true winners from the also-rans, they said. As a young man who had to look after the needs of ten siblings and his parents, he never complained about his fate or blamed destiny for it. He just worked hard and dispensed his duties with good cheer.

Appa always said: ‘Don’t let transient troubles come in the way of long-term goals. If there is something worth achieving in life, whether at work or beyond it, it is worth burning the midnight oil and pursuing relentlessly.’ I second that completely, Karuna, and know that you are already living that life.

Never inflict your passions or priorities on others, my father said. If there is something that you like to do, something you feel adds great value to the world, others will gravitate to the cause voluntarily without any need for cajoling or coercion. This creates, long term converts rather than reluctant followers.

During your own growing up years in Mumbai, you would have seen many other examples of selfless endeavours that were worthy of emulating and you would no doubt have your own role models at various stages of your childhood and youth. Your mother’s centenarian grandmother, who at that time was over seventy when you spend your first year with the family at Pondicherry, has always been a role model for all of us. The young widow courageously raised two generations of family, her own four children including your grandfather SV Iyer, and finally, her great grandchildren starting with you! That is an indication of the abundance of love and giving that reigns supreme in a large heart.

I wonder what it was when you were in your early teens in school that gave you the sense of purpose to start on your interesting academic journey. Was it your love of reading, through which you experienced many worlds vicariously, or your realization that it was scientific accomplishment and contribution to humanity that was more important to chase than monetary goals? Whatever be the trigger, the transformation of our child into a focused young woman intent on succeeding in her Bharatnatyam dancing, her literary accomplishments, and becoming the Head Girl of the school in addition to finishing among the top graduates in the all-India ICSE exams has been nothing short of extraordinary. I must confess, that it was with a feeling of trepidation that we let you choose your path and fly off alone when you were still shy of sixteen years to High School in the US. But we had then, as we have now, the confidence that your own intelligence, common sense, and strong sense of values and purpose would keep you secure and focused on the vision you had set for yourself.

Dear Karuna, values are themselves a transient phenomenon in a world where social mores, acceptable forms of behaviour, and the expectations of one’s peers keep changing. Our family itself has moved from extreme orthodoxy and somewhat dogmatic beliefs to a fairly liberal view of the world and we have let you choose your own road and follow your heart and mind without fear of reprobation or disapproval. The width and depth of knowledge you have acquired, not just in your chosen scientific discipline but in a variety of areas, have enabled you to build strong convictions that have, in many cases, rubbed off on our own beliefs. I grew up as a spiritual, God-fearing man but your company and our various debates during cherished family vacations around the world, have finally made me an agnostic!

Karuna, both your mother and I have worked hard over the last few decades, setting up new companies and pursuing with a passion many new projects. This has also made me feel that maybe some of that time we spent was borrowed from time that we could actually have been with you. But then again, your mother and I think too that we showed you by example, what it is to follow your heart and take your dream to fruition. If our relentless involvement in our work—one that is very essential to our well-being—has played a role in forming the intelligent and independent young woman that you are today, I am happy. Seeing your own devotion to your calling and your work ethic makes us extremely proud today. Medicine is a calling that can change so many lives, Karuna, and we are proud you have made that call to change people’s lives for the better on your