Discovering Truths by B. Benfield (book series to read .TXT) 📗

stepping between his legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his were around my waist as we continued to kiss softly. I unbuttoned my pants and shimmied them down before I pulled off my top and slung it across the room. Gage followed, pulling off his shirt and sliding off his pants. I stood before him in my black bra and panties, him in only his boxers. He fell back on the bed and pulled me with him, positioning me on top of him. I could feel his excitement and hear it in his voice when he said so desperately, “I’ve been waiting for this since the moment I met you.” He ripped off my panties, sprung himself free, and before I had a moment to think about what was next, he was inside of me.

I knew I’d never be the same.

***

Every moment with Gage was incredible. I wanted to stay wrapped up in that bed with him all day long. Things between us started rough, full of force, and desperate, as if we couldn’t get enough. The way he touched me and clung to me was indescribable and it brought me closer to him. I didn’t want to let go. When the initial fire finally dimmed, we slowed things down and it was full of heat and passion. Every single thing the man did sent me into an explosion like I’d never felt. In the end, we laid together tangled between the sheets, and his strong arm was wrapped around me, pulling me into him. He stroked my hair and told me how amazing I was. I wanted this every day. Our realities sucked.

On the way back to work, I tried to pull myself together. I was on a roller coaster of emotions, but I didn’t want it to affect my job. When I got to my desk, I focused solely on the tasks I needed to complete. I was finished, and Mike still wasn’t back, so I was at a loss of where to go next. I grabbed my purse and headed to the bathroom. Once inside, I placed it on the counter, and that’s when I lost it.

I burst into tears and even though I attempted, nothing I tried would stop the flow. I sobbed loudly, trying hard to breathe and calm myself down. I grabbed a tissue and dabbed my eyes, sitting down at the bench by the sink. The tears finally started to slow as I took deep breaths in and out.

“What have I done?” I whispered.

Small tears continued to fall as I sat there in silence, willing myself to calm.

Everything hit me all at once. Gage was amazing. Our personalities clicked, our conversations were meaningful, and the physical…was out of this world, but I was a married woman, and I had just broken my vows. No matter how hard I tried to rationalize the situation, given that Marcus was doing the same thing to me, I couldn’t believe that I stooped to his level. I was now so caught up in Gage, that I worried my feelings were too deep. I didn’t know if I could continue our charade, but I didn’t know how I’d move forward without him. Even though everything between us was secret, he’d become such an important part of my life. I needed him. And that scared me.

***

I didn’t go to Yoga that evening. I went home, popped a sleeping pill, climbed in the tub, soaked for an hour, then went straight to bed. It was seven thirty and Marcus wasn’t home. I closed all the curtains in my room to make it as dark as I could. I wanted to go to sleep and forget this day. It’s like my depression was creeping in on me, reminding me that it was still present.

Only this…I brought this on myself. And even though I was sad in this moment, I’d decided I wasn’t ending it. The happiness Gage brought me was so strong that I couldn’t cut the tie. But for now, I had to go to sleep and hope that it washed away all the bad vibes. Before I closed my eyes, I glanced at my phone.

Gage: You okay? Haven’t heard from you…

How did I respond? That I was just having a psycho moment and I’d be alright tomorrow…I hoped?

Me: I’m fine. Just really tired. Going to bed.

Gage: This early? You sure you’re alright?

Me: I’m good. Promise. Today was…amazing.

Gage: Yes. It was. I miss you already.

Me: I miss you too.

 

I turned off my phone before I attempted to keep the conversation going. For my sanity, I had to go to sleep and shut off the world. The sleeping pill that I took finally kicked in and I dozed off, hoping tomorrow was a better day.

Chapter Fifteen

 

I slept through the entire night. When I woke up the next morning, sharp pains pierced through my head and down my neck. Marcus was in the shower, so I walked downstairs, chugged a glass of water, and popped a couple Tylenol, along with my other daily medicine. When I sloshed back up the stairs, he was already dressed and rushing around.

When I looked at him, Gage and what we’d done yesterday was the only thing I could see. As much as I tried to tell myself I no longer cared about Marcus, it wasn’t entirely true. Although he’d been betraying me for a while, I still felt a little remorse for what I’d done. I wish I didn’t.

“Morning,” he said, slipping on his shoes.

“Good morning. What time did you get home?”

“Some time after eight. What time did you go to bed?”

“Like, seven thirty. I wasn’t feeling well.”

“I’m sorry. Better now?”

“Yeah…I think so.”

“I’ve got to run. Have a good day.” He said, kissing my cheek as he hurried out