Have Spacecat, Will Travel: And Other Tails by John Hartness (best color ebook reader .txt) 📗

So I erred on the side of caution, kinda. I reversed my grip on the knife and slammed the hilt into the back of her head. She stopped squirming, and I got off her. “You faking?” I asked, poking the unconscious succubus in the side.

She didn’t answer. If she was faking, she wasn’t in a mood to tell me about it. I looked around the room, found a dressing gown, and wrestled the sleeping demon into it. Then I tied the robe closed, hefted her up on my shoulders, and did my best Weekend at Bernie’s walk out of the room. There was a door at the end of the hallway that I really hoped led out to an employee parking lot. I dragged the dead weight of the succubus down the hall, happy for once that my “day job” had me hoisting hundred-pound automated lights on the regular.

The door wasn’t locked, wasn’t alarmed, and did, in fact, lead out into a gravel parking area with half a dozen or so cars scattered around. I spied a candy apple red Corvette and grinned over at the sleeping demon on my shoulder. “That’s got to be your ride, right? Yeah, no way any of these other goofs have wheels that hot.” I dragged her over to the car, dropped her on the hood, and walked around to the driver’s side. It was locked, of course, but I whistled the intro to Guns N’ Roses’ “Patience,” and spun myself a little magical unlocking action. I heard a thunk from inside the door as the car unlocked, and I hauled little miss sleepytime around and deposited her in the passenger seat.

I’ll own it. I copped a feel as I belted her into the seat. Then I walked back around, slid into the driver’s seat, and whistled up just enough mojo to start the car. As the big engine hummed to life, I felt the last of the magic drain out of me. That was all I had for a little while—I’d need some rest and live music, not recorded, to be able to weave more. I hadn’t done anything big, but trying to use magic on tech like automatic door locks and a car ignition was a big resource drain. That, coupled with the late hour and expending a lot of my energy on the show, left my batteries dry. I really needed this succubus not to wake up and kick my ass in the two minutes it would take me to drive her car around the building and dump her at Dawn’s feet.

For once, luck was with me. I pulled up alongside Dawn’s Escalade and rolled down my window. “I have a delivery for you.”

Dawn’s driver window rolled down and she stared at me. “You didn’t kill her?”

“I don’t kill if I don’t have to. You know the deal.”

“I just assumed she wouldn’t let you take her alive. Did she say anything?” Dawn’s normally placid face was drawn, and there was a worry line between her eyebrows that I’d never seen before.

“She tried to seduce me. I didn’t go for it. We fought, I knocked her out, stole her car, and brought her to you. We didn’t have a lot of time for conversation.”

“She tried to seduce you? You mean you didn’t have sex with her?” Dawn gave me a sly smile.

I held up on finger. “Okay, in the first place, I didn’t have time. I haven’t even been gone half an hour, and I like to take my time.” A second finger joined the first in the air. “And in the second place, there is no way I am getting naked in a nasty strip club in a doublewide trailer in Arkansas, not even with a woman as fine as this one. Now what do you want me to do with her?”

“Take the Escalade back to your bus and leave the keys under the mat. I’ll dispose of her.”

“You mean kill her.” It’s not that I disapprove of killing monsters, really. It’s just that we had no real proof, other than her trying to stab me. If I went around killing everybody who tried to stab me with something, let’s just say there wouldn’t be very many guys working the club circuit anymore.

“You can’t really kill a demon,” Dawn said, opening her door and sliding to the ground beside my window. “They aren’t of this plane, so if I destroy her physical body, she just goes back to Hell, where she belongs. No muss, no fuss, just another demon notch on your bed post.”

“I told you I didn’t sleep with her,” I grumbled.

“Metaphorically speaking. Now get out, so I can get this dealt with before the sun comes up. Some of us have to work during daylight hours tomorrow.”

“Sucks to be you,” I said, unfolding myself out of the low-slung sports car. I gave the car a soft pat on the roof. It would have been nice to ride around in one of those for a few hours, but my bunk was calling me pretty hard.

“Sucks to be you, too, little Miss Sunshine. You’ve got church in the morning.”

“Is it…crap, it is.” The realization that it was Saturday night, well, Sunday morning, hit me like a hammer between my eyes. Dawn was right, I had church in a few hours. Yes, it was streaming on the internet from my home church, and yes, I could watch it later on YouTube if I couldn’t make myself get out of bed, but I really tried to get up every Sunday, no matter how quickly I was back in my bunk after the service ended.

I groaned, then heaved myself up into the driver’s seat of the Escalade. I looked back at Dawn and said, “Hey D?”

“Yes?”

“Are we actually accomplishing anything?”

“What do you mean, Kelsey? Of course we are. We’re getting dangerous creatures off the streets.”

“Yeah, but it just seems like for every one we catch, there’s another one, bigger