The Deadly Diadem: A Paranormal Artifacts Cozy Mystery (Paranormal Artifacts Cozy Mysteries Book 2) by Tegan Maher (paper ebook reader txt) 📗

shook my head and wondered if I was the only witch on Earth with a sarcastic, gambling, booze-swilling skunk. I couldn’t imagine there was more than one of them, but if so, I’d have loved to get them together. Or maybe not; the world might not be sturdy enough to withstand them being in the same place. No dumpster would be safe.

I finished drying my hair and slicked on some makeup before heading out. Eli had texted to say he was on his way, and that he’d have a cold beer and a table reserved when I got there. Those were the most magical words I’d heard in a long time.

I decided to take a backroad to get there. It was a little longer, but that was fine. My goal wasn’t to take a Sunday drive. Rather, I wanted to open the Mustang up a little and blow off some steam. I didn’t want to think because I’d been doing way too much of that lately. The sun was setting, and we were at that awesome time of year where it was hot during the day but the temps still dropped a little in the evenings.

I turned onto the backroad, which was almost a five-mile straight that followed the shoreline. This time of year, it was all but deserted, and there were no driveways or any other obstacles to worry about. With the sun setting over the Gulf of Mexico, I hit the gas and let the sheer joy of the speed wash over me. I’d only planned to do a short sprint, but the adrenaline kicked in. My speedometer climbed to seventy, eighty, ninety, and just as it was edging toward a hundred, blue lights flashed in the rearview.

As I’m sure happens with anybody who likes to speed and has a machine fast enough to get you in a whole lot more hot water knows, the thought of smashing the gas and keeping on going flashed briefly through my mind. It wasn’t a real idea, though. Just one of those bad ones that the little devil on your shoulder whispers in your ear before you finally listen to the angel that’s been yelling at you to slow down since you hit seven over the speed limit.

With a sigh and a feeling of impending doom, I hit the brakes, flipped on my hazards so he’d know I saw him, and looked for the next spot wide enough to pull over. It took the deputy a few seconds to catch up, and the little devil on my shoulder called me an idiot for stopping. The angel smacked him though, reminding him that we had the only Shelby in town and that surely we would have been busted on that alone. Still, at that moment, I liked the devil better, at least until I realized it was his fault I was sitting there to begin with.

“Evenin’, deputy,” I called, smiling and hoping he was feeling merciful before he even made it to the window. If not, this was gonna be a whopper.

“Evenin’, Sage,” a familiar voice said. I didn’t know whether to be relieved or more worried when James’s face popped into view. “Got someplace to be?”

I gave him a pained smile. “Sorta. I’m meeting Eli at the Jolly Roger.”

“Ah,” he said. “Yeah, I can see where the fear of beer getting warm would be cause to drive like a bat out of Hell.” He paused and huffed out a breath. “Are you out of your mind? Do you have a death wish? Do you know how fast you were going?”

Now that, I knew, was a trick question. I knew for a fact exactly how fast I’d been going, but did he?

“Not really,” I said, starting the dance that happened between every speeder and cop.

He rolled his eyes. “Sure you don’t. Look, slow the heck down, will you? I’m not gonna give you a ticket, but take it as a get-out-of-jail-free card. I was on my way home, but if I’d been one of my deputies, you’d be in a mess right now. Or worse, if you blew a tire going that fast, you’d be roadkill.”

That was the same speech Dad would have given me if I’d gotten a ticket, so I was considering it a twofer with none of the downsides.

“Seriously?” I asked. “No ticket?”

“No, Sage, no ticket.” His mouth curved into the smile that had first attracted me. “But I’m serious about being careful, okay? You’re just coming back into my life, and it would suck for you to exit stage left on me now.” He slapped the roof of my car over my door and winked at me. “No matter what role we end up playing to each other.”

With that, he ambled back to his cruiser and waited for me to pull out first. I was grateful, but the stress-relieving drive I’d started had turned to crap. I scowled as I kept an eye on the speedometer, swearing that if the beer cooler was out when I made it to the bar, I was crawling in a cave and never coming out.

Chapter 13

The parking lot was full when I pulled into the Jolly Roger, so I had to park clear back in a dark corner in order to lessen the chances of having my car doors beat up by less-than-sober people when they left. I put the standard protection spells on it, then locked up and headed to the door.

“You’re gonna make an excellent mother someday,” Axel said as we walked across the lot.

“What?” I asked. “I like kids about as much as you do. What makes you think I’ll ever jump off that particular cliff?”

He grinned. “One, most people your age say that, then they get all googly-eyed and mushy when they meet that special someone and decide that the best idea in the world is to bring a little bundle of screaming blended DNA to life. Second, the reason I say that is because of